Setting up this thread ;D
I did my stupid Math homework.
YAY :yourock: well done.
did you give yourself a reward???? here is a :bighug: in case u forgot!!
Stupid math. We know that in the end it still doesn't add up. ;)
Congrats! Well done! :fireworks:
another technological conquest... i learned how to make things
move
You go arpy lol :thumbup:
Haha. Thanks Dutch Uncle. It really doesn't add up..
Thank you too Arpy! And Yay for you too!
Mmmmmmmm, I can smell it from here :applause: and :thumbup:
today i did a lot of physical activity, met a lot of new people, socialised a lot, took initiative to volunteer ideas and my time.
Today, I went for my morning walk.
I have not walked since my last T appointment last week when I realized some very unhappy things about myself (and/or my beliefs about myself). Walking allows me to get in touch with my inner self/selves. I have not wanted to do that for a while so have been staying late in bed instead.
Today, I achieved getting out of bed and going for my morning walk. I just walked. And it felt good.
Finished high school economics forever!
Other than leaving the house to get a 15 minute hair cut this week, I have not left the house since I became unemployed on Monday. Been alone in the house with my cat for almost 4 days. Today, I went out, volunteered at the animal shelter for 3 hours at the kitty house and socialized with people. And, it was nice. I meet a new volunteer, saw a couple I had not seen in a month or so, and all of the kitty's that have been there for a while still remembered me and were happy to see me. I was relaxed, not nervous or standoffish. Doesn't seem like much but it was a big day for me.
Mary Ann ;D
I spoke out about something that mattered to me. Felt so much fear and dread but still did it :)
I got a lot of negative feelings off my chest. It can feel good, or at least less bad, to have a catharsis like that. Kinda clears out your head.
Pieces, Well done. I know how utterly scary it is to do that, to take a chance, to dip your foot into the pool.
It shows much courage. :hug:
Today I achieved:
1. Going to help / volunteer at the stall the centre has that i volunteer at, at our local festival.
Very worried i would be triggered, and that it would be difficult being with X, and around others who don't know the truth about I'm and about what happened with us.
It wasn't that triggering, but was in bits, but I gave myself the option to just leave, if it got too difficult.-
So i am also achieving, feeling more free now out of the relationship,
as he doesn't have the right- (he never did, to try to fix it, or to..well, just try to fix things...which made me feel pressured)
I am allowing myself control to get away if i need to.
2. Telling X, *Im not going to discuss this with you, ok?*
Going off and having a break (yes, with a ciggy), but I was determined to not let him ruin my vibration and how i interact with others.
I know i stifled my anger, but i still had a good, though tiring day.
This morning I went out on my back porch to water my plants. I heard a noise on my neighbor's side of the porch and figured he was taking out the recyclables or something. Then I heard birds, lots of birds. I know they have a dog, but I didn't know they had birds and what were they doing out on the porch. I walked over to the other side and was surprised to see about a dozen sparrows frantically trying to get out the closed windows. I didn't want to screw around with my neighbors stuff to get to his windows, so I walked back to my side and found two of the sparrows were already there trying to get out of my windows. I went back into my apartment to get a ladder, moved all my plants away from the window and tried to open the top so they could fly out. The top window had been painted shut and I could not budge it. Due to the meds my doc has me on I have a bad case of confusional arousal http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/news/20140825/sleep-drunkenness-is-common-and-linked-to-other-behavior-issues and totally forgot the top window was missing its glass since I moved in there. However there was the matter of the storm and screen windows in front of it. They were not painted shut, but had not been moved possibly ever, at least not by me. I was able to move the screen and the bottom storm window but I could not move the tab on the left side of the top window. I was able to unhinge it on the right, but I just couldn't get the other side to unlock and my fingers were starting to hurt from trying, so I got a screwdriver, but that was no help at all. Finally it occurred to me that sparrows are not flies. Sparrows are smart enough to go out the bottom window. Which they did, once I encouraged them all to fly over to my side of the porch. So there you have it. I fought my way through my psych med induced morning fog, accomplished the freeing of a small flock of sparrows trapped inside the porch and received a poop on my right hand for thanks. My dearly departed mother would say "That's good luck!" whenever a bird pooped on you. As she would have it, I got all green lights on my way to work today. Even the traffic light in the center of town that lasts for 90 seconds was green for me today. I hate that light. Thanks for the lucky poop little birdy. Should I repeat this in the "What are you grateful for today" thread? Maybe not.
yay for what you achieved there, it's sometimes sheer determination to help something small and vulnerable makes us put in the extra strength to get past the brain meltdowns. i liked reading this post, it made me feel glad. thank you!! :hug: :yes:
You're welcome. It was fun to write.
I walked 4 miles with my puppy :)
Today i achieved....Going to the bank after i discovered my purse was not in my bag.
Asked to withdrew some cash, and cancelled my bank card.
Spoke to the dude about ordering another and asked for it to be sent here- not to my dads.
All involves interaction and I'm usually really nervous and avoid this as much as possible- but today, survival mode took over and i just did it.
Then i rang the park cafe to ask if my purse was there...(all which i hate doing!)
Know one else should, or will, take care of things for you. If i cant do it myself, I'm stuffed, and that happens. But today was not one of those days.
Great job, Sienna!!! :)
Thank you Mourningdove :) I hope your well.
:yourock:
So do you Three Roses. Very much. ;D :thumbup:
Getting 2016 behind me. Left with a tad of hope that 2017 will be better and a tad of motivation in doing my part to make it so.
I wanted to write what I achieved today, but it's so embarrassingly small and minor that I might beat myself up internally or even do some self-injury if I write it. But at least I'm writing that I achieved one of the things I had intended to do today.
Small victories are still victories. Good job, you!
Thank you, Three Roses! :wave:
Today I managed to not argue back in a situation where it was not going to help me.
well done, blueberry. starting to break a neg. cycle is always worthy of acknowledgment!
Thank you sanmagic. Your response makes me feel validated! :)
Today I achieved even more, I think partly because of managing not to argue back yesterday. In a particular type of emotional healing where I live people talk about 'infectious healing' as opposed to 'infectious illness'. Doing a step in the right direction and building on that and keeping on going.
So today, different situation, different people.. I was responding to my parents (in writing) about financial matters and I stayed on topic. Whenever I realised that I was drifting off into a bit of accusing, or you could say victim-mode ;) , I removed those sentences. And I also did very little self-injury. I almost always do some self-injury when thinking what to write, but this time was greatly reduced. :cheer: I have to cheer for myself.
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
i like the concept of infectious healing. puts a great, positive spin on it all. keep up the great work!
Today I finally showered and washed my hair, :cheer: something I'd been putting off doing for I'd rather not say how long. I feel lots better because of it too.
:cheer: :applause: (that's something I tend to neglect too)
I woke up in the night as I often do for my nightly insomnia and I immediately started to get a rush of toxic shame. This has happened a lot in the past. It's like poison rushing into my body. But last night, when I woke up and sensed it was about to happen, I said to myself, "NO" and began deep breathing with counting, and actually went back to sleep. I felt empowered to make it stop. It's a good step!
That's awesome! I'm going to try to remember that one for my 3 a.m. wakeup call! :D
Oh my gosh yes, mine is at 3. Every. Night.
:cheer: :applause: Phoebes! Feeling empowered to stop own insomnia! That is a really good step.
Not only did I finally (once again ;) ) wash my hair and have a shower, but I also did it when I felt like it which was at 2 am!
And I washed a huge stack of dishes at just after midnight.
Doing these two was a really big deal for me because a number of years ago the woman in the neighbouring apartment asked me not to use my kitchen at all in the evening, because it's next to her bedroom. BTW, my shower is in the kitchen, and the kitchen is only room with hot water. My neighbour would know that my shower is in the kitchen, though she might not know the kitchen's my only source of hot water.
After a couple of years, I did revert to using my kitchen in the evening: dishwashing till 10 pm at the latest and shower till midnight. But a few hours ago I decided to * with all those restrictions, I'm doing what I want!
I've also stayed up all night so that I don't have to try and get up at 5 am to go where I needed to go yesterday and didn't manage. While staying up all night might not be too healthy (though I was in/on my bed most of the day), this is an innovative approach to what is a common problem for me at the moment: getting up and staying up.
« Reply #29 on: February 17, 2017, 12:16:45 PM »
Today I managed to not argue back in a situation where it was not going to help me.
My own post from about 6 weeks back. It was a real achievement then, and it was not arguing back to the reply to a post I wrote on OOTF, nothing directly to do with anybody IRL or worse not about a reply/mail from any FOO members.
That was laying the ground work to today's step of: I've decided not to reply to an email from my F, because it was just going to turn into the usual ping-pong game. :cheer: to myself
and :pissed: :pissed: :pissed: to FOO members and their inability to see their own issues, and inability/unwillingness to stop seeing me as the family garbage dump. It's good to get this anger out somewhere.
PD ping pong is not at all fun I know. I remember reading somewhere "If you want to stop dancing, just sit down." Kind of silly but it stuck with me since then and it is such good advice when you have someone with a PD in your life. In this case I guess it would be laying down the paddle and stepping away. In any case yay you! :cheer:
Quote from: Kizzie on April 02, 2017, 06:26:00 PM
laying down the paddle and stepping away.
I finally understood this part of your post!!! Your most important message I of course understood. But this bit really confused me. I was wondering ??? why you'd gone onto paddles as in canoes. Now I understand, paddle as in ping pong. It was right there in my post of course, I'm the one who mentioned ping pong. By the way, "PD ping pong" is hilarious. Maybe there should be a thread for the most amusing words/expression we coin?
I feel a little embarrassed at 'always' wanting to write about what I've achieved. Correction to own initial thought. It's not always!! Explanation to myself if noone else: One of the things I've taken on from the type of therapy I was in for a long time is: focus on the changes you are capable of making and talk about these too! Don't just talk about the bad stuff. That has a place too of course, but so does the progress.
So hoping more people might write in this thread more often.
Anyway, today I answered two posts on small jobs (contract work). I didn't actually get either job, but I just felt good that I even tried, especially after deciding about a week ago not to do any more of this type of work till I'm through trauma therapy, and then realising that there are actually really small jobs with non-tight deadlines that I still could do.
Quote from: Blueberry on April 13, 2017, 09:58:22 PM
Don't just talk about the bad stuff.
I agree, Blueberry. After all, what we think, speak and write counts as self-hypnosis. It's good to acknowledge when something goes right.
Quotetoday I answered two posts on small jobs (contract work). [...] then realising that there are actually really small jobs with non-tight deadlines that I still could do.
Woo-hoo for yoooo! :cheer:
Thank you, Candid. :hug:
I hope you guys don't mind me resurrecting a 4 month old thread, I really like the idea of it though.
And today I achieved: Well, managing to not freak out when I noticed my purse was not in its usual spot. So easy it is to assume the worst but I just reassured myself, take deep breaths, and think rationally. I had a hunch that it was in a shopping bag from a recent trip to the store, and as my family cleaned the house recently, they probably threw it in the bin. So I went outside and looked in the garbage, repeating over and over to myself that it's going to be fine, that I'll find it and if not, then I'll figure things out. But lo and behold, sorting a few plastic bags of rubbish and filth I found my purse right at the bottom.
(wipes sweat off forehead) >.>
Hooray for not panicking! ^^"
:applause: :applause:
I think this thread needed to be resurrected. :)
:yeahthat: Absolutely! A bit of focus on our achievements is very healthy, just like posting under Three Good Things.
In fact, note to the moderators:
I've wondered before whether the various threads like this one and I'm Grateful For... and What I like about Myself... shouldn't be over in Ideas for Recovery, just like Three Good Things.
hmm good point....
Whoa, AphoticAtramentous. Purse in the garbage... Hooray for not panicking, indeed! And thanks for resurrecting this thread. It's a good one.
1. I cried a little in the early hours of the morning
2. I cried much more in therapy
3. I came out the other side, so to speak
4. I made myself a huge pot of thick vegetable soup to eat tomorrow, the day after and maybe even the day after that
5. I washed the dishes (something I've been incapable of doing for a good few days)
6. I took down two of the recycling bins (which helps things get moving again)
1. Getting to my counseling appointment.
2. Getting to the computer in order to proofread (the job I get paid for.)
I haven't proofed yet but will when I finish posting here.
:cheer: :cheer: Allie, I know how difficult it can be to do these types of things.
Today I achieved reaching out to a friend when I felt really vulnerable.
Quote from: Sceal on September 28, 2017, 10:04:13 PM
Today I achieved reaching out to a friend when I felt really vulnerable.
:applause:
I can understand how hard that is. Good on you!
----
I managed to achieve some productivity, not just today but within the past few days.
Worked shifts, sent mail, cleaned things up, posted a bit on the forums here, started writing a new resume, started a letter, and now I think I'm going to draw a bit. ;D Just some sketching.
Sounds like you have been doing quite alot Aphotic! You are doing great! 😊
...
I went swimming. In a pool! With other people!
1) I got up eventually
2) I opened the shutters (in one room I tend to leave them closed) to let in some light and help me feel less depressed
3) I checked my emails and responded to one
4) Did some much needed care of little furries
5) I read way back in my paper Journal which helps me sort out what's so difficult now
6) I phoned my doc to change an appointment
7) Started a load of laundry (it's still in the machine)
I know it's not much in the general scheme of things, but it's a lot on a day like this.
I looked at the Just Having a DIFFICULT DAY, and shared my experiences, and tried to give support.
:hug:
Quote from: Slim on May 27, 2018, 10:25:33 AM
I looked at the Just Having a DIFFICULT DAY, and shared my experiences, and tried to give support.
:thumbup:,
and from me as Mod big thanks!! Handing over bouquet of flowers :hug:
My body managed to sleep until 08.00 this morning!
I am learning to take myself seriously - not bullying myself, not shouting at myself, but being thoughtful about my needs, resolved to help myself.........it's a lot easier to type it than actually do it!
Slim
LOL, it is harder to do it than type it I agree. Glad to hear you're giving it a whirl though Slim :applause: :cheer: :thumbup:
I spoke to a shop where I would like to try out working and have an appointment to try out on Tuesday.
I took my puppy to the dog park for the first time in her little life. She had the best time and socialized way better than I ever do. :) But I also socialized with other dog owners while there... So I consider that a win.
1) I woke up with the ability to and impetus for doing some things for myself, a thing which has been sorely lacking recently. I made the decision to move forward with that instead of going up to the farm to help.
2) I finally arranged an appointment with a bicycle shop with a special ergonomics program because some of my body parts go numb when I cycle more than 10-15 km. It's neither healthy medium- to long-term nor conducive to cycling for pleasure atm. So this is great self-care :cheer:
3) I got a new prescription for orthodpedic insoles and took it to an orthopedic soles' manufacturer right away. The previous one I got in April I just never took to the manufacturer so eventually it became invalid. So more self-care :)
4) Wed., thurs, Fri i've taken my meds
5) After my meds today I had the impulse to go back to bed (despite achievement no.1) but I managed to get rid of that impulse by finding the next easiest thing to do, which was washing the dishes while listening to music.
6) I took a letter to the post-office, also finally. Been waiting around for 2 weeks.
And it's not even noon yet. :)
Way to go Blueberry!! :cheer:
I have already stood up for myself this morning, and spent time just loving myself a bit more. Which is huge for me
1) I planted my redcurrants in their final place, dug up a rose and holly hocks and re-planted them as well. I got started on digging up my blackcurrant bush. It's not easy unfortunately, so was taking a while.
2) I continued my progress from yesterday by finding it amusing that my landlords said I didn't need to move anything more out of the bed where my redcurrants had been and blackcurrants still are, because the construction work they're doing ends at the bed. Then they proceeded to get concrete all over most of the bed ??? They did carefully avoid damaging my blackcurrant bush though :party: I don't need to live off my garden so I'm just not taking it too seriously. This is continued progress, there must be some re-wiring going on :applause: :thumbup: :cheer:
3) I also did some more sorting out - a few books - but every little bit helps.
A much needed shift in mindset. When flashbacks came up, I dealt with the feelings rather than dissociate and numb. Peeling back the onion of the severity of the abuse already (not on purpose) and moreso it's effects and why I have done some of the things I've done to sabotage myself. Last weekend I went on a long hike and had a long talk with myself which included all of the negative effects of alcohol, and the positive effects of exercise. Since then, I have not drank, but have exercised, created a schedule, and eaten healthfully. I've even managed to sleep more soundly. I hate to say anything- don't want to jinx it, but I'm grateful for this loss of interest in alcohol all of a sudden.
1 steamed coconut milk is my morning wake up drink
2 I woke up to write about a new character: yumi (characters come to me as images first then I describe them)
3 goal set for mid morning 3 mile walk from hill to sea
This thread is helping me to get comfortable with posting on OOTS - I have read many stories, some are triggering and that’s ok (EF management is working - thank you Pete Walker), I am getting comfortable with how I am in this space. I need OOTS, its giving me practice in voicing who I am.
Noticing that I made it to the canyon everyday this week
I am halfway through a legal case that opens up possibility for me (its going well); lifechanging
Taking small steps to recover a healthy way to be with an abuser in my FOO
I am letting spontaneous healthy constructive activities change my routine to let something new take hold
Started packing and tossing things I dont need, to prepare for relocation
turned around a bad day - irony is the word (will share it when I am ready)
I was perplexed at an EF that wont go away (triggered by my environment; I live in a rough city) - the cloud of loneliness is gone; its not real - I am breathing
Felt an emotional binge come on but didn’t go there - I feel GREAT - eating everything but meat and little to no sugar feels more like me :bighug:
I reached out to good people for help with my career and they are showing up
I was able to connect with someone who rarely has the opportunity to be seen as he is, because in public others project what they want to see in him — he was grateful for the authenticity
2hrs of yoga on the beach
Quote from: : on October 18, 2018, 01:12:50 AM
I reached out to good people for help with my career and they are showing up
I was able to connect with someone who rarely has the opportunity to be seen as he is, because in public others project what they want to see in him — he was grateful for the authenticity
2hrs of yoga on the beach
2 hours of yoga on the beach.
You got me there. :cheer:
The connection between us nourished what you needed, this makes me happy. You got there yourself. :hug:
1) I've started listening to music again and even moving a bit
2) This evening I put dirty laundry in the washing machine all ready to wash tomorrow morning (I haven't washed clothes for aaages)
3) I hung up all my wet outdoor clothes instead of leaving them on the floor
It almost feels as if I might be coming back out of my EF...