I don't know when, if ever, I'll see what happened to me as "not my fault".
When I've heard what other victims of child SA have shared, my heart breaks. But when I think back - I'm not at the stage yet where I don't believe it was my responsibility.
Yeah that's a hard one, but we will all arrive at that point of belief when we are ready.
Until then, just know for now that I know it is not your fault.
LittleBird, that realization took me a long time. I still battle with it, there are still pieces that I blame myself for on occasion. Everytime I think of them I have to think through the work I have done in therapy, and the reasons I wouldn't blame someone else.
Like Contessa said, we will all come upon thay truth in our own time.
I still battle with that belief about all forms of abuse done to me. All I can say is that the self-blame has lessened with time.
I know it's not your fault you were abused! But I have trouble seeing that for myself.
I understand that. For me it's like a gap between logic and feeling. I logically know that an eight year old cannot be to blame for that but I still feel responsible. I hope that in time, with help I will be able to join the two. I hope you will too.
:hug: