Out of the Storm

Development of CPTSD in Childhood => Other => Causes => Personality Disorder (Perpetrator) => Topic started by: Kizzie on March 16, 2018, 10:30:24 PM

Title: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on March 16, 2018, 10:30:24 PM
I am Trumped out.  And before I go on to explain/vent, let me say it isn't his politics as I am Canadian, it's his character (or lack thereof),  and the fact that he has malignant Narcissistic Personality Disorder and is in such a position of power.   I know there are those who say you shouldn't diagnose someone unless you're a mental health professional treating the person, but anyone who has been parented by, lived with, and/or worked with an N, knows blindfolded exactly who and what they're dealing with when they encounter one.  I have Complex PTSD because of NPD in my family, I have been up close and personal with it for 6 decades and my body, heart and mind know very, very clearly what Trump is.  For me it is fact that he has NPD.

I was so depressed knowing what was coming after his inauguration, it took me a few days to be able to get out of bed.  Every day since then I have felt   like I am in danger of being sucked back down into the black hole that is N behaviour with no escape in sight. I finally stopped watching the news because like being around my family, the constant, unrelenting N behaviour made it hard to think or feel anything except despair.   I do still watch a number of different comedians when they do a spiel about Trump or his FM's because it does send a message somewhere deep inside that I am not alone in how I feel.  I also read news articles from credible sources that lay out the facts of his lies, obfuscations, etc., so  I reinforce to myself that others do see reality..  And I follow the Mueller investigation closely because I am hoping he will bring Trump down. 

These things do help, but even so there are days when I  just want to cry and cry for myself and for everyone that is being affected and damaged by Trump.  It is just so very sad and wrong all around.  In reading Pete Walker's blog article this week,  I realized that perhaps crying is exactly what I need to do for poor younger me who did not even get to knit a pink protest hat ( I knit quite a few of them last year  ;D), when she was trapped and traumatized by my parents' NPD, and needs to be comforted and reassured. 
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Cookido on March 16, 2018, 10:38:06 PM
You are not alone in being Trumped out! I'm glad to live in a country where most people realise what a danger he is. I think it sounds good to avoid news about him, if it is a trigger. Some things are just too difficult to get used to and I think he is one of thouse things..
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: ah on March 17, 2018, 01:33:51 PM
I feel the same way.

Where I am, Trump's behavior has had horrible consequences. I doubt he has the faintest clue about any of them, he just marches on with his ... uh, his... N behavior.
I'm not a psychiatrist so of course I can't diagnose anyone but yeah, Trump has NPD. No question about it.

It implies a few sad things. How helpless and clueless our society is when it comes to recognizing N's and knowing how to respond to them, for one thing.
People assume we're all essentially the same, but we aren't. All the people who try to communicate, work with him, reach him assuming he's like them, assuming his mind works like theirs, keep ending up so puzzled and lost because of this basic fact. It leaves me feeling like the little kid in the emperor's new clothes.

I think talking to a N is a bit like trying to talk to an eel covered in soap bubbles. There's never anything to hold on to, the N and you just aren't even in the same universe. 

I watch comedians who talk about Trump, just like you, but really can't bear to see or hear him in person. Whenever they show little clips of him I instantly disengage, it just triggers me too much.
So does Putin with his sadistic psychopath body language and eyes.
And a few others too, but Trump is one of the hardest to avoid these days. I have to be super skittish in reading the news, always ready to look away. It's become a habit, closing my eyes / looking away.

People are suffering and dying, real people in the real world who have done nothing to anybody and couldn't get away from the consequences of this mad king's little games.
I wish his actions had as little gravitas as his personality :no:
You're not alone.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: sanmagic7 on March 17, 2018, 03:49:24 PM
o, kizzie, you're not alone.  i am amer., and i can hardly bear knowing how this country has responded to him, all the hatred, bigotry, all the 'ism's', women's issues, etc.  in all my years of being active in amer. politics, i have never seen the likes of this before.

i'm with you - npd all the way.  i stay as far away from the news as possible cuz it makes me feel sick inside as to how many people are responding to him in a positive way!  it makes no sense to me at all, it hurts my heart, and roils my insides.  this is a very sad time for the world, and a very dangerous time as well.  i live in fear now of what this man might do. 
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on March 17, 2018, 05:54:18 PM
Just on my way out  and will post more of a response later but wanted to say tks for your responses, as always here I don't feel so alone any more.

:grouphug:
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Jdog on March 17, 2018, 07:28:12 PM
Each new day brings fresh horrors from the Trump administration.  I have been doing my very best to cope with the challenges of daily life, then layered on top I say this ongoing nightmare.  The final icing on the cake is my extrem anxiety over the threats of school violence.  I teach in a high school, and we have had over a dozen threats in my district since Feb 14th.  Over 70per day nationwide, I am told.  These are extremely triggering to me.  I had a cold for a few weeks, got over it, and it came back in more of a flu last Wednesday,the day of the student walkouts.

I am taken back to a home invasion that happened when I was a baby, wherein my Mother left the house to seek assistance while the invader was in our bathroom.  I am taken back to the scene of a kid in my 6th grade class chasing our teacher around the room with a knife in hand.  I am taken back to two break ins to a home I owned in my 40's, as well as an experience of a creep lurking in the backyard.  I am taken back to a landlord stalking me and my wife just las year.  We bought our own home last summer so that is at least no longer happening.

Trump has no concern for any of us, as evidenced by his letting the inane Betsy De Vos take over school safety efforts.  For anyone who missed her 60 Minutes interview with Leslie Stahl last week, it is so telling.  No efforts to counter the NRA in regards to reducing availability of weapons to young people.  Arming teachers...REALLY?  So now we get to figure out how to keep teachers' guns out of the hands of mentally unstable kids?  And teachers have to shoot at people while making sure not to hit any bystanders accidentally?

What is this nightmare?  When are we allowed to wake up?
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Blueberry on March 17, 2018, 08:48:07 PM
I'm with cookido on this. I'm lucky to be far away. And I ignore the Trump part of the news. At the same time in the back of my mind I do realise what a danger he is for the whole world. If Trump were in my neighbouring country, it would be harder for me too I think.

Kizzie, good on you for writing about something bothering you personally.  :thumbup:   :hug: to you and  :hug: to Little you who needs comfort and reassurance.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: sanmagic7 on March 18, 2018, 12:19:24 AM
i saw the de vos nightmare with leslie stahl.  she had a horrendous fake smile while evading all the pertinent questions, as if she were a hostess trying to placate a guest.   i could not comprehend - it left my brain reeling.

as with every other malignancy, we will get thru this as best we can, but it is so disturbing on so many levels it's difficult to fathom.    no, kizzie, you are definitely not alone in your feelings and beliefs.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: DecimalRocket on March 18, 2018, 01:21:57 AM
I'm sorry you're feeling scared about this, Kizzie. Crazy how this happens.

I've heard a lot about Trump. I live far away from the U.S in Asia, but some people compare the president of my country with Trump. Both are sexist, try to live up to some kind of macho ideal, extremely rude and often uses anger in their speeches. I've researched into politics somehow, and in different countries in the world there's been this influx of similar presidents around the world. It's a fascinating but terrible sight.

But from Naomi Klenn's books on this and several other articles I read, thousands of people are trying to fight back. People who have never participated in any activisim in the political sphere are now trying to do what they can to act against it. I remember when Trump tried to ban people from other countries and religions to come into the U.S, hundreds of people crowded the airports shouting, "Let them in!"

Maybe these quotes would help.

"...Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take everyone on Earth to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale..." Clarissa Pinkola Estes

"...One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity..." Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Other links might help too.

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2016/11/aaron-sorkin-donald-trump-president-letter-daughter

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/trump-voters-will-not-like-what-happens-next/2016/11/09/e346ffc2-a67f-11e6-8fc0-7be8f848c492_story.html?utm_term=.ecf68c74afee

https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/11/van-jones-donald-trump-sanders-clinton-racism/

Take care all.  :hug:
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Elphanigh on March 18, 2018, 02:51:16 PM
Kizzie, you are definitely not alone in these feelings. As a young American woman seeing Trump everyday is very damaging, to recognize what he is creating in this country and the affect it has on other places in the globe. When he got elected me, my roommate, and many close friends fell into a place of depression and grief because we knew what was to happen and we had done all we could to prevent it. Knowing the system is so broken that he could lose by number of votes by a really large chunk, yet still be in charge of our country was painful.

Watching the way he treats issues so close to all of our hearts is devestating. I am just hopeful they can get rid of him. Although if he goes Pence also needs to go, he is far more dangerous.

As a survivor I echo how hard this is.  :hug:
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on March 18, 2018, 07:17:10 PM
I ended up watching parts of the Betsy DeVos interview too because they were part of the comedy shows I watch, and once again came away so  triggered. How is it even possible that this woman who has no knowledge of or experience in education be in charge of it?  To be a teacher in the US JDog, I can't even imagine,  It is absolutely insane to think arming teachers is the solution to school violence and she did not even go there, just sat there with an inane smile on her face.  My parents would utter these kinds of insane things and we would have to keep silent or risk their wrath.  So, lots of suppressed anger and the same for Trump as I did not want to talk about it much here because it has been so divisive for so many in the US.

Anyway, re the DeVos interview - I couldn't help but wonder why on earth she even agreed to go on 60 Minutes and what I came up with was depressing .  As with most in the Trump inner circle, I think she truly believes she is smarter than most other people, does have all the answers, and is entitled to be in charge and making changes as she sees fit, without any real consultation with those she will affect.  I could not believe  when Leslie Stohl asked her how she became one of the most hated people in the US and she looked genuinely bewildered.  It was because she was actually bewildered imo; she and other Trumpians are so shielded by their money and have drifted into black and white thinking, none of them are grounded in reality.   

What the whole Trump debacle has brought up for me is deep anger and depression because I just feel so trapped and helpless being subjected to yet another person with NPD and the crazy that is how they think and behave.  I can't get away from him because he's everywhere and so it's hard to go NC like I did with my family. Basically he blots out the sun and I hate it. I am trying though because it has gotten to the point where I have to. 

On the positive side (I do see some hopeful outcomes), I like to believe now the world has been up close and personal with someone in power who has malignant NPD, there will be greater awareness of just how damaging this PD is to others.  And the idea of  damage to others is key. When the editor of the APA DSM scolded psychologists for diagnosing Trump as having NPD, he suggested that mental health professionals must treat a person to determine whether and how the illness/disorder was affecting them.  OMG, no clue that this PD in  particular shields the person from anything negative about themselves  (and from reality), and as a result causes so much damage to others around them.  How is it possible he did not get that!!   Fortunately over 150 psychologists in the US did not accept that and signed a letter outlining their "Duty to Warn" the Congress and Senate about Trump.  I also have some hope lawmakers/politicians and citizens in democratic countries are coming to see how important mental and moral fitness are in their leaders and will consider putting measures in place to assess potential leaders, especially at higher levels before they get into power.

Well, I have a bit of a headache so that is my signal to take a break.  Tks everyone for posting your thoughts, this has helped enormously  :grouphug:
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Jdog on March 18, 2018, 08:41:09 PM
Kizzie-

Very well put, and I completely agree with all of your comments.  I wasn't afraid I had hijacked you're post by bringing in DeVos, but I did remember that you are also an educator.  You well understand how deeply interconnected the threads are between NPD, hiring an incompetent schlock to handle sensitive school issues, and the dangers to so many of us from so many fronts.

I am also hopeful, though, and it is due to the increased level of local organizing efforts both socially and politically.  A powerful wakeup call has been issued now that folks realize that we all have much to lose (and much to gain through affecting change). 

Rest up, and know that, as others have said, you are far from being alone.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: sanmagic7 on March 18, 2018, 11:10:35 PM
el, i want to agree with you that pence is even more dangerous, and as much as i hate the idea of trump and what he's brought to the table, i'm even more afraid of what pence might bring. 

i had a theory that trump was the one who would be able to get elected, but that it was part of a plan to see that pence eventually became president.  maybe crazy.  i hope so.

what the apa/dsm editor did is a microcosm of what's wrong with the entire dsm arena.  the people who sit on that board don't necessarily have the best interests of mental health as their agenda.  i'm glad the psychologists spoke up - i also signed a petition thru my emdr forum that was related and supportive. 

the only way i get thru this is to narrow my focus as much as possible.  i can't stop what has happened, what continues to happen.  every day there is another insane joke to deal with.  it's extremely depressing, maddening, and ultimately soul-sucking.  we can only stand shoulder to shoulder knowing we are making our own little corner of the world one of caring, kindness, and love.  i continue to breathe knowing that.

hang tough, kizzie - we're hangin' right beside you.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on March 20, 2018, 03:37:09 PM
Thanks everyone, it's a bit nuts that I do not live in the US even and I am so very triggered by The Donald, but that's the havoc those with NPD inflict on others.  And no worries about highjacking the thread JDog, his whole cabinet, anything he touches or anyone he gets involved with are part of the N-web so it really isn't just him who is affecting me.  My family is the same - N's have a long reach and you're either with them or your against them so it tends up being a whole family and FM N network, a sticky web if you will.

San I agree about the DSM and now even have a conspiracy theory rolling around in my head which doesn't seem so crazy these days. I talked about it elsewhere but it's that the cost to the whole US health system would be enormous if Complex PTSD were ever acknowledged. Thus, I suspect there is ongoing pressure from the health insurance sector and government  not to include it (similar to how the NRA is using its money and influence to shape policy regarding gun control). 

Elph -  I agree Pence totally he needs to go too. He's a mean little man with some truly awful ideas.  Trump's NPD is almost a strength if you will, it allows him to just carry on regardless of consequences just like my nM will go to her grave thinking she was just the best mother ever because her disorder protects her from knowing anything else.  I don't think Pence has that shield (although I have to wonder how anyone who claims to be Christian could be so mean spirited and lacking in humanity), so I don't think he could get away with things like Trump seems to. 

Anyway, I just hope Mueller takes Trump down  :yes:  and if not him, then US voters.  I personally will do a little dance of joy that the good guys and gals won in the end :yahoo:

Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on March 20, 2018, 04:50:35 PM
Have a look at  John Oliver trolls Mike Pence  (http://fortune.com/video/2018/03/20/john-oliver-trolls-mike-pence-with-childrens-book-about-gay-bunny/) with children's book about gay bunny.

This is what keeps me going.  Too funny  ;-)
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Blueberry on March 20, 2018, 05:17:27 PM
This whole thread has me thinking that the PD in my family is probably BPD not NPD and that's kind of a relief! Or the PD is actually unrealised, unrecognised and undiagnosed CPTSD (in other mbrs of FOO I mean), so not even PD. But I'm not sure about that. Doesn't change anybody's behaviour or the effects on me. 

:thumbup: :thumbup: you have something to keep you going Kizzie!
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Elphanigh on March 20, 2018, 07:57:01 PM
Thank you, Kizzie. I really appreciate the link. Pence scares me because he has the political know how, he has jailed women for having miscarriages before (as far as I know they are still in jail and will be for like 30 yers) He strikes me as more dangerous purely because he has the know how to get more done, that and everything he stands for endangers my well being. That whole gay conversion therapy, women having no rights etc... I am out openly and that becomes a problem when he is in charge.

Although trump is extremely damaging in his own way, sitting here having to live under them both Pence is scarier to me. I hate that e have someone allowed Trumps NPD into office, which is damagin so much progress that was being made. I do have faith that he will not win at reelection but doubt anything will happen before than tbh.

The one plus of having him in office has been the flood of awareness for sexual assault survivors, there has been a huge movement because of the atmosphere of this country. It is not a bright light but it is something to hold onto in the craziness. It gives me hope for what is to come after. I don't think I will ever be able to be open (until my parents are gone) but it gives me hope that others will be able to. That this horrible state will lead to massive change as tends to happen historically.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Blueberry on March 20, 2018, 08:00:28 PM
Quote from: Elphanigh on March 20, 2018, 07:57:01 PM
That this horrible state will lead to massive change as tends to happen historically.

So true! That is something to, um, look forward to.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Elphanigh on March 20, 2018, 08:56:16 PM
I like how that is phrased, Blueberry. I both look forward to, and am terrified of it. We need some change for the better. Awareness for things like cptsd, and npd etc. maybe this will be what was needed  :Idunno:
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on March 21, 2018, 12:01:31 AM
I absolutely love the fact that Jon Oliver's book is topping the NYT bestseller list because it tells me that great change is coming Elph.  There is no turning back from diversity  no matter how much old pale stale citizens may wish they could turn back the clock.  This is a bit of a revolution I do think, a painful one though I know.

I can also see why you are saying Pence would make such a dangerous President, he does know how to work the system.  I can only hope voters will reject him if it's the case that he takes over from Trump. 

Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Elphanigh on March 21, 2018, 12:22:18 AM
Thank you Kizzie. Knowing you see the change coming really gave me a moment of actual hope. I may sound hopeful but a piece of me is always worried it will never actually come. As far are Pence I hope so too, he is the replacement automatically because of how our system works but he would stand to not be re-elected the same time Trump is currently.

I am glad you posted about this Kizzie, sorry if I got too political. It is close to home and affects me as a survivor but also just as a whole.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Jdog on March 21, 2018, 03:23:54 AM
It's good to laugh when we can.  Lots of things suddenly seemed hilarious today when I hit the point of being overwhelmed by politics, violence, and just dealing with teenage rebellion in the middle of everything. 

Beyond all else, we can remember that we are here to do good in the world.  Just that thought is very, very powerful. 
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: DecimalRocket on March 21, 2018, 12:29:47 PM
Glad you guys have found a way to make peace with it. I may live far away enough to wonder what in the world Westerners are doing with their politics sometimes, but even from here the U.S's presence as a superpower may even affect the rest of the world. Multiple people around the world are aware of him, and what he says could influence them.

On the day he was elected, the head teacher announced it, and on that day, you can hear hundreds of students groaning. Trust me, it's not just people in the West that's upset about this. You're not alone in this, and if there are a few people worried on this forum, you can imagine thousands more standing beside you around the world.

Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Elphanigh on March 21, 2018, 03:29:09 PM
Thank you, Decimal. This is really good to know  :hug:
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Blueberry on March 21, 2018, 07:13:56 PM
Anybody remember "Nellie the Elephant"?

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk
and said goodbye to the circus
off she rode with a trumpety trump
trump trump trump

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk
and trundled off to the jungle
off she rode with a trumpety trump
trump trump trump


I remember this being quoted a bit coming up towards that big unfortunate election
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on March 21, 2018, 07:59:32 PM
 :rofl:   I wish Nellie would ride off with a big orange Trump BB and never come back  :yes:

DR - I have a friend in the UK who told me Trump blocks out the sun there too, right alongside all the Brexit turmoil so it's a double whammy. :stars: 

I don't remember ever being quite so affected by politicians before - perhaps being dissociated was not always a bad thing  :whistling:
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Rainydaze on March 21, 2018, 08:49:14 PM
He's such a doofus I can imagine him slipping on a banana peal and accidentally landing on his 'big and powerful' button. I'm in the UK and my husband and I enjoy watching the SNL parodies of him on YouTube, plus the brilliant Trevor Noah's observations on The Daily Show. It is scary seeing such an obvious narcissist in power but if stripped of all his wealth and his soapbox then at the core he really is just a silly, racist old man with a terrible haircut.  :grouphug:
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on March 26, 2018, 09:37:32 PM
Gah, I went online to order the Marlon Bundo book that Jon Oliver's staff wrote and it is sold out!  When it's available again I am going to add it to our OOTS "Shop" page just so I feel like I have done something to support the LBGTQ community (not to mention sanity and reason) in the age of Trump and his morally bankrupt and just plain mean minions like Pence ;D 

Blues - SNL and Trevor Noah are awesome I agree.  I also like Stephen Colbert, Kimmy Kimmel, Seth Myers and of course the infamous "Man of Many Words' Jon Oliver.  I watch a LOT more comedy than I ever used to.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Elphanigh on March 27, 2018, 07:12:17 PM
Kizzie, as someone that falls in the LBGTQ spectrum I really appreciate that you want to do something for it. Also just for sanity as well! Craziness
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on March 27, 2018, 09:36:07 PM
 :hug:  to you Elph
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: DecimalRocket on March 27, 2018, 11:45:30 PM
I agree with Elpha. I'm LGBT too, and sometimes I worry about how there's no gay marriage where I am.  :doh:

Just glad you're doing something to help people like me. It can be hard, I'm sure.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Elphanigh on March 28, 2018, 07:38:21 PM
Hugs to you both  :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on March 29, 2018, 12:07:58 AM
I started an LBGTQ section in "Books" (http://www.outofthestorm.website/books-1/), and added in Marlon Bundo (still out of stock).  I also found this resource which I added too - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/3319545078?ie=UTF8.  If anyone has additional books about CPTSD/trauma and the LBGTQ community just PM me.

Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Elphanigh on March 29, 2018, 03:38:29 PM
Kizzie, this made me so happy to see  :cheer: I don't have additional but if I happen upon any will send them your way
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on March 29, 2018, 04:01:32 PM
I found some more and will be uploading them this morning.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Jdog on April 03, 2018, 11:07:15 AM
Thanks for helping me and my fellow LGBTQ community members, Kizzie!  Being disowned for being just who you are is such a common theme in our community, and the warm acceptance here is very healing. 

In equal opportunity fashion (showing that hate is a chameleon but is always the same ugliness underneath), Trump is once more going on about getting transgender people out of the armed services and not allowing anyone in that community to serve again.  Along with his hatred of immigrants, the environment, and so many other things, it appears that unless you are actually a member of his family you will be targeted for annihalation.  Just nutty buddy stuff, and dangerous to boot.

Anyway, thanks to you, Kizzie, for supporting us and thanks to the many others here who do as well.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on April 03, 2018, 05:52:04 PM
I am trying not to watch the news much (and it really does help for those of you who are having similar triggers to Trump as is talking here), but I did hear this JDog. It is ridiculous and hate based, just like so many of the actions of this administration. I also heard that thankfully a number of generals contradicted his reason (that being transgendered  was a threat to the integrity of units).   :cheer: 

Being subjected to the whims of someone who lacks empathy for others and not being able to escape is one of the conditions for the development of CPTSD.  What he is doing is nothing short of traumatizing.  The hope I do hold for so many of the groups Trump is going after is that most are tightly knit, supportive communities and best of all many have the right to vote   :yes:    In our case, we didn't have anyone on our side, we had to hide, be silent and there was little we could do escape our perpetrators, we simply had to endure.  That said, we are coming together in communities like OOTS and that gives me some hope. If people have places like this and access to the books about CPTSD available now perhaps they will begin recovery earlier on in life  :Idunno:

Anyway, I started this thread because I just could not hold in all that Trump being in power was triggering in me any more and I came to the conclusion I shouldn't.  I was doing the same thing I had done for years, not talking and that nothing was going to change for me or others if I remained silent. The fact that I am not even in the US and Trump still affects me so incredibly deeply speaks to how traumatizing those with NPD (or anyone i who abuses others for whatever reason), are or can be to those around them. 

Posting here finally has led to a real sense of relief and even healing for me and that speaks volumes  :yes:   
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Blueberry on April 03, 2018, 08:26:08 PM
Quote from: Kizzie on April 03, 2018, 05:52:04 PM
Posting here finally has led to a real sense of relief and even healing for me 

Wow Kizzie  :cheer: :cheer: Way to go! Shows what just being able to express your own truth and be heard can bring in terms of healing!

I'm glad you're using the forum for this, allowing yourself to show yourself on here and in the process get some healing. Instead of providing and running the forum and being there for the rest of us. Of course it's great that you do the latter!! Where would we be without you and this service?!? But I have a good feeling developing when I see and hear you're getting something tangible out of this forum too  :)
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: DecimalRocket on April 04, 2018, 03:03:09 AM
That's interesting, Kizzie, and I'm glad you're doing something to help.

Now that you're trying to do something for the LGBT, mind if I suggest you add some options to gender in our profiles? There's a wider spectrum of gender in the LGBT world, and I feel kinda weird about being more "genderfluid" where my gender identity changes according to my mood. No place to put a preferred pronoun here (which is more of a gender neutral "they.")

Kind of awkward to have people refer to me as specific pronouns when they don't know that in this forum.  :whistling:
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on April 04, 2018, 05:20:10 PM
I'm open to that DR, what options do you think should be added? (e.g., "fluid?)
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Elphanigh on April 04, 2018, 06:31:32 PM
I am really glad this discussions can be had here  :cheer: Just warms my heart to see, thank you for bringing that up Decimal rocket
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: DecimalRocket on April 04, 2018, 10:38:00 PM
Here's a neat list of gender identities if you want to take a look. https://www.lifehacker.com.au/2016/07/explained-the-33-gender-identities-recognised-by-the-2016-australian-sex-survey/

Though, I think putting everything in there complicates things. Maybe it's better to put in some umbrella terms in there. Transgenders who identify as women can just put female, and those who identify as male can just put male. Though, who knows? Maybe other people like that here (I've seen a few) have a different opinion.

Genderqueers (the umbrella term for those with identities outside the two main genders) makes it more complicated. This includes people who feel like both, neither, fluid or a third gender. Personally, I like it specific because for some strange reason, I don't really have much of a control on what gender I see myself (it makes no logical sense to me), and these terms feel very important. Though, maybe just putting genderqueer as just a third option is alright.

That, or doing away with options altogether and just make the gender option something you can type anything into. Like how putting where you live is treated, signature or profile description. That seems like the best option for versatility to me in how anyone would like to put there if you ask me.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: alliematt on April 05, 2018, 03:04:43 PM
I hear you all.  Some of my beliefs may be different from some of yours, but I don't blame any of you for being "Trumped out".  I cast a protest vote for Snoopy because I couldn't vote for either candidate.  I resent how he's exploited the divisions in this country, I resent his incompetence, and I resent those who defend him with, well, at least the economy's good; or, we didn't elect him to be our pastor. 

I know no President is perfect, but I am truly concerned about this one.
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Kizzie on April 05, 2018, 05:46:27 PM
QuoteI hear you all.

Best words ever Allie, and  that's really what it's all about isn't it?!   :grouphug:

DR - I think it might make sense just to take gender out altogether, same for a few other things like age and web site title and URL  If members want to reveal that kind of info they can do so in posts, but I'd hate for anyone to feel they should (there's that dreaded word) fill those blocks in their profiles. 

FYI, I went over to OOTF yesterday to see if I could get  hand with this and a few other IT things. They are still in the midst of working on the handover from Eclipse (founder of OOTF and IT person for both sites who recently left), which includes banking, taxes, corporation status, etc so I'm going to wait until the dust settles before I ask for a hand. 
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Bluevermonter on April 05, 2018, 09:04:12 PM
I just want to weigh in about the idea that only psychiatrists and other mental health professionals can diagnose a PD.

I am a math and science person thanks to my older brother who let me use his microscope, telescope, chemistry set, etc when we were kids.

He also let me use his various field guides. So now many decades after university, I still use field  guides to stars, trees, birds, seashells, insects, etc you get the picture, right? I have a bookshelf full of them.

I see no difference between the DSM and field guides. The field guides let amateurs go out and identify the trees in their backyard or the birds they see on vacation. Birders like me keep a "life list" based on my identification from my field guide.

You guys see where this is going. The DSM is written in straightforward language that any reasonably educated person can understand. Might they get an id wrong? Sure. Of course.

But when so many of us familiar with the DSM recognize Trump as a raging narc, well. It's like my birder companions on a hike pointing to a winged creature and nodding as one, "Yep, blue jay!"
Title: Re: Trumped Out
Post by: Gwyon on April 09, 2018, 12:59:16 AM
Thanks for posting this Kizzie. It hadn't occurred to me that I see what Trump is so clearly _precisely_ because of my own personal experience with emotional abuse.