Out of the Storm

This is a continuation of the very popular "Healing Porch" topic  started by Wife #2. 

See also Part 1 (http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=6910.0) and Part 2 (http://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=8269.0). 

Lighting a scented candle this evening and hoping for peace for my friends here on OOTS

I need a place to hide, so I think I'll hide in the forest.

Thank you for the candle Estella, I can still smell it.  :hug:

Sceal, I hope you found a peaceful spot. Let me know if you need anything today

just chillin' here for the rest of the day.  gonna hang out in 3roses' treehouse, sit under the trees, smell the wood, watch everyone on the porch with a smile in my heart, listen to the birds and the wind in the leaves.  aaaah . . .

Thank you Elpha, would you perhaps like to play a board game and drink some tea or hot cocoa with me? :) Others are welcome to join in too if they want!
I could need one of those blankets that are light, but comforting and takes away the physical pain from tendons, joints and muscles.

Sceal, I would love to play a board game with you  :) I think tea sounds wonderful this morning as well

So I've returned here today, trudging past the graveyard of lost illusions to this place of pure peace.

Part of me wants to grasp and clutch at this feeling. To take it with so I never forget. All the other memories can wander off, but I want to hold just this one.

That won't happen, easily; but maybe this time I can create a ritual observance to remember...so I can leave with a different focus, some new outlook, but mainly a means to perpetuate the peace.

Leaving my collective memories built on pain, grief, and despair doesn't seem right to those still here, though; it only despoils the place.

So I wander over to the oceanside fire ring, and after lighting the kindling, grab a stack of tear-stained memories scratched onto pieces of paper in my bulging 'memory sack'. I cast them all into the now blazing fire, watching as the old memories are consumed, transformed, and dispersed as the smoke carries them away.

Finally I tamp the embers and leave. I know 1)I'll be back here and 2)it feels good to have lessened the load. I move on, with this fresh memory pointing my way to a new peace. A new candle burns in my heart--a peace that replaces the old memories. As the ashes have long been blown out to sea, may my old memories dissipate there too.

Thanks to all who built this porch.  :grouphug:

Thank you for sharing the light, WG.
Peace is beautiful and so are you.

My body aches tonight.  I am going to lay on some heated cushions in a reclining chair to relax my sore muscles.  Looking out on a nice sunset from the porch and sipping some peppermint tea.

I continue to have a restlessness feeling in my body, so I think I need to be here to somehow heal from this. Get more connected.

Introduced to the Healing Porch by sanmagic7

Hello everyone,

Just had an EF at work and now i need to step back from all these numbers on the screen and enter a relaxing space.
I know, I know, i should be focussed right now, it's the height of the afternoon where i am. But i really need to get away even if it's virtually.
I'm also being hypervigilant around certain people and i want to walk away from that stress for just a second.

Just imagine me knocking on the door to the house, dripping wet and cold and shivering because there's been a thunderstorm in my mind.
Someone pass me a warm towel and a hug :(

A warm towel and a  :hug: for you RL.

I'm serving hot cocoa today - who wants marshmallows?

Estella can i have marshmallows and squirty cream on mine please :(

I'll help serve it to the rest of the house :) may later we can make brownies :D

Sounds amazing  :)

I've had an emotionally difficult day today.

I need a cup of chili spiced tea, super soft clothes and if someone would like to join me in a quiet corner of the garden to just watch the lake, or play a boardgame, that would be nice.

Sceal shall we skip rocks on the lake too? I want to do some bird watching out there as well :) 

What boardgame shall we play when we get back to the house? :D

Skipping rocks and bird watching/listening might just be the thing I need right now, Roe! Thank you :)
How about Settlers of Catan? It's simple enough, or Backgammon? Munchkins? I'm not picky :)

Always happy to spend time with you, Sceal.

Ooh i've never tried Catan before, but i'm told it's great! we can play that for a bit and then maybe Munchkins later if we have time? What's your favourite expansion of Munchkin? I've only played the plain one, but will hope to play an expansion some day. Maybe others will join us later? :)

I'd like to join! I'd bring Pandemic.

You too Roe.
I have played so many extensions, I can't remember which was the best. But I recall Conan being the most boring one. I've  never played Pandemic, Estella. Would be nice to try something new too.

I do love board games :D but I've never really had people to play them with. Virtually playing board games with you two legit warms my heart. All my love :)

i'm here for the rest of the day.  all the stress has caught up with me the past few days - grieving my fling (he really did give me a lot of pos. that i didn't expect, especially my feeling of happy), having to change how i interact with him now on a daily basis, all the moving stuff, plus this emdr advocacy - whew!

i loved knowing that some of you might be playing board games (altho i've never heard of any - except backgammon - that were mentioned).  i just want to sit in my rocker, put my feet up, pillow behind my head, listen to the waves and watch you all.  lovely.  just need some brain/mind rest.

Welcome san. I'm so sorry to hear that stress has caught up with you lately. We can teach you the rules of some new games, if you like. We have cocoa too  :)

I'm going to go wander into the forest today. I need the soft forest ground under my feet, the smell of the trees, and the birds to take me to places far away from me.

I've had an emotionally draining week and lots of social interaction.
I think I'll sit with my legs across a padded swing, with a light blanket. I brought my Service Dog IT (he's a Dalmatian puppy), and he's curled up on my lap. I love looking at the beach and listening to the waves. I don't think I'm ready for lots of interaction yet, but maybe a few hugs and some quiet company would be nice :)
I love the idea of board games, does anyone want to play Apples to Apples or something similar once I'm feeling a bit better?

 :hug: :hug: to you ry.

just want to sit and rock, smell the ocean air and the trees, listen to the birds.  i'm so frickin' tired.

i'd love to learn some of those games, anonblonde.  very cool, but maybe tomorrow.  cocoa sounds great tho - thanks.  gonna make me some right now.  yum.   

back again.  the world is too much for me on top of moving and all that's gone on here where i live.  just want some respite, time away, with people who know, who care, and who love in spite of everything.  hot chocolate in my mug, rocker, ocean sounds, and all you beautiful people.  i need this, i need you. 

Hey San,
I'll hang with you if you want.  You want some extra marshmallows?  :hug: 

i come bearing lemon vanilla cupcakes

i can make a new batch of any flavour you want if you don't like lemon :P

extra marshmallows would be great, and i love lemon-flavored everything!  just what i need.  it seems i'm seeking respite here more and more lately.  the pressure is getting to me.  gonna play some games if anyone's up for it.  the distraction and light interaction would be wonderful.

I'll happliy play some games, after I come back from hiking in the forest.

Hi, I'm gently tiptoeing around the outside to get to the porch, I don't want to startle anyone. I'm feeling drained and sleepy but can't sleep.
I've spotted an empty rocker so I'll sit down and look out onto the horizon. The warm air is relaxing. I gently close my eyes and feel safe, at ease and present. The gentle breeze is refreshing.

Feeling super anxious today. I will stay here this afternoon. Sitting on the waterfront, enjoying a small fire. I have a blanket that is grey, white, mint green, with a sort of aztec pattern. Much like a blanket I use for yoga irl. Once I feel more like I can move I will likely be doing some grounding yin yoga.

Going to be in and out here today. Last night was roug, and little elpha could use a safe space. She will be here all day. For now she has a cup of hot cocoa, and a good book. I have her sitting in a chair in the porch just curled up reading. It is one of her favorite past times.

She loves hugs when she is asked about them first, and also adores playing games once she has settled in some. But she is also perfectly content just feeling the calming presence around her.

I didn't care for her very well Sunday or Monday so she deserves to rest in a place that is so full of nurturing, compassionate energy. I will peak in on her as much as I can. Adult needs it too but has to focus on work today

Little Elpha and I are going to be on the porch tonight, we will be drinking cocoa and playing with our dog Jack. He is small now, kind of like when he was a younger puppy. Sweet and full of energy but also the best cuddle buddy, he is half germanshepard and something else. So it makes him a medium sized dog that looks like a fox, fluffy tail and all. He is always a sweetheart and loves people. I want to just sit with him tonight but others are welcome

I hiked across 4 mountains yesterday, my body is wrecked. So I think I'll go swim in the magical lake that'll restore my body to me.

That is quite the hike Sceal. The swim sounds amazing

Coming here to rest and heal today. I may have a mild concussion irl, and ended up going home from work. Hopefully that means this will heal. So on the porch I can hear small soft sounds and not be pained by bright lights. I will likely just be enjoying the warmth of the sand while not truly having to focus or stress.

up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, so am contemplating a messed up day.  i want to sit here for today, in my rocker and my newly obtained library book, just read and rock, maybe snooze a bit.  anyone who's here, i'll sit with them in peace and calm.  in fact, that's the blanket i'll snuggle into to take this fear away. 

i'm also bringing some raspberry muffins, if anyone cares to join me.    aaaaaah . . .

Hi San,

Thanks for the directions. This is my first visit here. I am feeling frightened and angry. So if this is a magic place, I need a safe place to feel angry where I won't be told off for my emotions or judged.
I imagine a boxing bag on a stand that I can punch as I need to and then probably a safe person to hold me when I need to cry and to validate my feelings and just be compassionate and kind. The kind voice and safety I don't have for myself.

that punching bag is there for you whenever you need it, and i'll gladly hold you while you cry, validate your feelings, and wrap you in a blanket of peace when you feel ready, debora.  no judgments here, ever, but kindness is in large supply.   so glad you made it here.

Thanks San. I need to hear that its ok to feel angry. That I am ok to feel angry.

I will also be here with both of you today. Those raspberry muffins sound amazing. I too need a blanket full of calm but also one that takes physical pain away. The porch is a magical place so I imagine that exists. Having to combat the emotional and physical concerns is a lot today. Hoping letting part of me rest her will help.

Might lean my head on someones shoulder and just rest if anyone is okay with that?

absolutely ok with that, el.  got big shoulders.

deb, it's definitely ok to be angry, as angry as you are for as long as you feel it.  even if it comes and goes, that's ok, too.

i'm loving being here today with everyone else who's here.  just right.

Thank you dear  :hug: I need that right about now. I love this place so much

This porch is straight out of my heart's dreams. I want to stay on this porch for an undetermined amount of time and never leave.

hey, mourning, you're welcome to stay as long as you like.  i'm spending another day here tomorrow.  today was rough, but this place makes it a little bit less so.  i'm so very tired, just need to rest.

Pop my head around the corner of the porch that navigates round.
:wave:

So lovely to see you all and I can feel the safeness with you all.

I've put my suncream on. I'm pale and blonde and burn like a lobster!

May I take a seat on the steps down from the porch and read with the early sun on me? I have brought fresh lime and lemon if anyone wants some in their water or lemonade.

ooooh, lemonade sounds perfect for me for today.  i need another day here.  glad you're joining us, laura.  there are more muffins to go around, so help yourself if you care to.

Lemonade sounds lovely today. I am also bringing iced coffee that won't make you jittery if anyone like the taste there is plenty to go around. San your muffins are delicious so glad there is more  ;D Spending today here as well, I will sit on the porch for a quick breakfast then migrate down for some gentle yoga where I can hear the water. Anyone is welcome to join, I am not doing anything strenuous or not beginner friendly. Just a fancy meditation at this point.

Thank you sanmagic7. I completely understand your feeling. I feel like my bones are tired...every cell of my body.  I found myself thinking about this porch all day today. I decided to bring my bees' honey for everyone to try.
I thought about having a muffin, lemonade and  iced coffee ( why not right?), then curling up under a blanket and be lulled in and out by the acceptance and voices of everyone here. It is a really comforting idea.

Mourningme, I am so glad you have found a place on the porch.  :hug:

I have cinnamon vanilla scones in the oven for everyone, they are getting close to done so you can start to smell them. I made them with my Indonesian cinnamon and actually Mexican vanilla extract instead of imitation vanilla. Smells so much better. I have neve rare them before but I think they will be delicious. Everyone is welcome to try them  :)

I am going to sit her a sip on a warm cup of coffee while I wait for them to be done

all i can say is yum and thanks.  it all sounds grand.

tired again today, so spending a third day here.  i think all the moving stuff has caught up with me, and we're now having problems getting some stuff fixed, so more headaches.  ugh.  the porch, the water, the lovely eating and drinking things all seem perfect to me. 

I'm here today.  I don't want to say what's going on.  There is chaos around me so I'm going to listen to music and sit here for the day. 

My dog is curled up beside me.  He is my little furball.  Deep breaths and cuddles with him  :hug:

Im going to walk alone in the forest today.

Going to be here today. My body is sore and tired, hoping to enjoy a bit of warmth from the sun and the sounds of the birds. Will be sitting on the porch with a blanket and a good book, but am up for playing games or being company to anyone that may need it.

i'm here today covered with a blanket of simplicity and my library book.  so much niggly piggly paperwork/bureaucratic gunk to get us set up.  this has not been like moving into an apt. in the same city at all.  plus, it's a much smaller town, so less resources.  we're the ones who have to be resourceful.  hahaha.

anyway, walking to the food pantry later, will have to take a cab home.  ugh.  still, i'll be here before and after. i need to rest.

I've decided to finally visit this amazing place. I can hear the tide in the distance so I brought my great grandmother's quilt to wrap around me while I relax and just listen. I think I'll pour myself a glass of clear, cool water to keep myself refreshed.

Ah, I also brought my sweet kitty cat, Asha. She's a medium-hair tortoiseshell who loves meeting people and is my #1 companion. She's very gentle and gives kisses, so don't be afraid to pet her if you'd like--she loves head scratchies and cuddles.

We'll be sitting in a shaded area of the porch, with me snuggled up in my quilt and Asha waiting to make some new friends.

Napping here today.  IRL I'm napping too.

Hi Deep Blue, Great to find you here - I won't disturb your napping, but I just wanted to pop by and wish you some positive experiences for when you awake from your nap - whatever you need, I hope it is there for you.   :hug:
Hope  :)

Going to be here resting tonight. Will like find a little corner to try and sleep in a chair that I can curl up with a bunch of blankets and just rest. My Littles are overwhelmed so the porch is the perfect place for tonight. I want to try to sleep better tonight. Hoping the calm from this place will help me rest.

Going to find a safe corner in the porch to watch the water and birds from. I have a blanket full of safety and reassurance around my shoulders and a warm cup of tea with me.  Will be okay with gentle company but slow going today. Trying to keep from anything spooking or heightening my system again

I'm still here Elpha,
I don't feel like talking... let's just sit and watch the birds together.
Can you show me a couple yoga poses to help me relax?

We can definitely watch the bird together. I will show you some yoga poses as well. Simple healing ones to help calm you

I'm here for the rest of the night. I'm wearing a protective blanket that keeps nightmares away.  I'm going to sit on a rocking chair and watch the sunset

May I join in with the yoga poses? I recommend pigeon pose for deep relaxation.

I'm exhausted, I need to rest. I'm going to sit in a comfy rocking chair, with a heavy woolen autumny coloured blanket over my feet, and a cup of spicy chilly tea and looking at the red and golden leaves of the autumn forest. Just enjoying the silence.