If anyone has any insight or experience, or can form any possible connections for me, please do let me know what you think.
Tried to not like this person after i did, after finding out they didnt feel the same way, and the age gap -they are very aware of.
Now the feelings are back.
Part of me thinks this is normal, and part of me wonders if its to do with someone in the past- a parent, or even both.
Theres so much he doesnt know about me. And so much he doesnt see because of the age gap.
I think ive already got him figured out, and i want to connect.
Similar childhood experiences..(though not sure to what extent)..
he is closed off..possibly what you might call, counter dependant ..
weird, but in a good way...
Dont know how to offer him my support with out sounding too clingy or engulfing, but worry I'm not saying what I'm thinking in terms of being here for him when maybe i should just say it.
Im being patient with him and his closed off ness because I'm like that, though it is a desperate need i have to reach in further and drag some him out.
I wish he could see past my age.
Sometimes its like he sees me and what I'm not saying, and other times its as though he doesnt and i can't be my quirky self with him even though he's into that, so my quirky Aquarious rising ways are stifled behind a wall and i may just come across as laughing a lot and immature.
He's the sort of guy who calls me hun- his moon is in capricorn, and apparently, men are very friendly with this placement which can lead women on.
We are both the type of people who hold back feelings, so there would be some distance between us.
I feel so embarrassed after seeing him today, now that the feelings have come back, always fearing ill stay the wrong thing...so I'm holding back.
I don't feel *good* anymore and just a bit let down, but its really only because of my own stupid fantasises ..is it?
what is wrong with me???
It hurts that i can't show him i care because I'm worried he will freak out at that, and maybe I'm afraid ill be rejected and look like the needy one.
I think i can sort of figure out psychologically speaking why I'm drawn to him, but i can't access the pain as I'm not exactly sure what it relates to from my past (as I'm sure it does)
but i do think that thinking about him takes me away from my own world, but what am i running from?
Tried to not like this person after i did, after finding out they didnt feel the same way, and the age gap -they are very aware of.
Now the feelings are back.
Part of me thinks this is normal, and part of me wonders if its to do with someone in the past- a parent, or even both.
Theres so much he doesnt know about me. And so much he doesnt see because of the age gap.
I think ive already got him figured out, and i want to connect.
Similar childhood experiences..(though not sure to what extent)..
he is closed off..possibly what you might call, counter dependant ..
weird, but in a good way...
Dont know how to offer him my support with out sounding too clingy or engulfing, but worry I'm not saying what I'm thinking in terms of being here for him when maybe i should just say it.
Im being patient with him and his closed off ness because I'm like that, though it is a desperate need i have to reach in further and drag some him out.
I wish he could see past my age.
Sometimes its like he sees me and what I'm not saying, and other times its as though he doesnt and i can't be my quirky self with him even though he's into that, so my quirky Aquarious rising ways are stifled behind a wall and i may just come across as laughing a lot and immature.
He's the sort of guy who calls me hun- his moon is in capricorn, and apparently, men are very friendly with this placement which can lead women on.
We are both the type of people who hold back feelings, so there would be some distance between us.
I feel so embarrassed after seeing him today, now that the feelings have come back, always fearing ill stay the wrong thing...so I'm holding back.
I don't feel *good* anymore and just a bit let down, but its really only because of my own stupid fantasises ..is it?
what is wrong with me???
It hurts that i can't show him i care because I'm worried he will freak out at that, and maybe I'm afraid ill be rejected and look like the needy one.
I think i can sort of figure out psychologically speaking why I'm drawn to him, but i can't access the pain as I'm not exactly sure what it relates to from my past (as I'm sure it does)
but i do think that thinking about him takes me away from my own world, but what am i running from?