Hello everyone. A while ago another user and I were discussing reclaiming, or indeed claiming for the first time, interests and hobbies our abusers or cultic backgrounds denied us. We both thought it would be good to have a thread for people to share their journeys in re/claiming things. That conversation was a while ago but it stayed with me and I wanted a thread for sharing.
I am currently exploring body modifications and my feelings about them. I'm realising I have convincingly mimicked my mother's disgust and criticisms of them, because although I have never found them to be so unpleasant, I feel afraid of her knowing that... or rejecting me for liking something so ''wrong''.
I have convinced myself that these are genuinely my opinions, too. When I question that, I can feel my deep fearful submissiveness, how I am afraid that I must follow the rules. Interesting, I will feel and reflect more on this.
I am currently exploring body modifications and my feelings about them. I'm realising I have convincingly mimicked my mother's disgust and criticisms of them, because although I have never found them to be so unpleasant, I feel afraid of her knowing that... or rejecting me for liking something so ''wrong''.
I have convinced myself that these are genuinely my opinions, too. When I question that, I can feel my deep fearful submissiveness, how I am afraid that I must follow the rules. Interesting, I will feel and reflect more on this.