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Messages - Echo

#1
General Discussion / Re: multiple thoughts at once
January 04, 2018, 01:41:54 AM
Thanks for the responses  :bighug:

Sceal, it happens to me more when I get a surge of energy too. I wonder how much of ADD is related to CPTSD. There goes seem to be a huge overlap.
Ah, that's a good point about it being a myth that we all just have one thought at a time, definitely something to think about. I will have to try meditation.
#2
General Discussion / Re: Extreme Empathy
January 03, 2018, 05:07:30 AM
Wow I relate to your post. I'm not diagnosed ASD but I am diagnosed severe ADD which might have something to do with it. I also have extreme empathy and I wonder if it's related to experiencing emotional abuse somehow/plus a difference in the way the brain works? Anyway thank you for sharing.
#3
General Discussion / multiple thoughts at once
January 03, 2018, 04:56:35 AM
Since I was young I can remember having multiple thoughts in my head at one time. In the past it seems to get worse when I get stressed. I'm not hearing voices so I don't think it goes quite as far as DID, but I thought this was normal until I googled it recently and found that it isn't.

I have been diagnosed ADD so it might be related to that and not CPTSD. Does anyone else experience this or something similar?
#4
AV - Avoidance / I forgot how many tattoos I had?
November 03, 2017, 04:05:01 AM
I guess this is a form of dissociation or a memory issue, maybe both.

I've had a lot of stress lately, and someone I met asked me how many tattoos I have. I told them I had 2 tattoos instead of 3. I was unable to remember what my third tattoo was and where it was. I had to look down at my wrist before I remembered what my third tattoo was... it's literally right there, on my arm.

I've had plenty of memory and concentration issues before, maybe it's just a part of that.
#5
I can relate. I find myself forgetting where I've parked, sometimes wandering around in the parking lot to the point it gets embarrassing too. I need the GPS more than what should be normal, have little to no sense of direction and like you say struggle with not really being aware of my surroundings. I was previously diagnosed with ADD and medication for that really helped these symptoms for a while, but then it wore off and I didn't want to keep increasing the dose.

I'm writing a research proposal on C-PTSD for one of my psych classes, and I found information about something called DTD I really related to. Developmental trauma disorder was actually introduced as a kind of alternate name for C-PTSD before C-PTSD was really beginning to be understood. It included PTSD related symptoms, but also memory and attention problems like what you're describing. I think this is all a part of complex trauma, and you're definitely not alone in struggling with it
#6
Dee, I'm sorry you're struggling so much with getting treated. It shouldn't be that difficult. I ended up going with the first therapist, and psychiatrist, I ever saw, which turned out to be a bad choice. I need to look for other options too so I definitely relate with feeling fed up with people not being able to help. They're the people who are supposed to help after all.

Sceal, wishing you the best of luck in your recovery process. There's definitely way too many stereotypes of eating disorders out there and there's never going to be one typical case. It's surprising your doctor didn't know that. And it certainly shouldn't have taken that long for you to be taken seriously. I'm glad you had a friend in your life who could help you, too.
#7
So true, I feel like some therapists just like anyone else may not fully understand eating disorders.
Thank you xx
#8
That's a valid point. There wasn't a real discussion, instead she immediately tried to explain why I don't have one.

I think I will go seek a second opinion and keep researching it.
#9
General Discussion / Re: Trust
October 19, 2017, 11:47:48 PM
I think I might try this exercise too. I have a weird relationship with trust, sometimes I trust too much and sometimes I can barely trust at all. Making a list would be a huge help, it's something to fall back on.

Honestly is a major one for me too.
#10
So I've been researching eating disorders and I've seen a lot of people say signs are things like picking out eyebrows and skin scratching. From what I've read these are both part of the over-restricting and controlling mentality.

I do both of these things. I've thought for a while that I may have traits of anorexia. I've been in therapy for a couple years. but never diagnosed? T said "that's not an eating disorder" and said "you don't look too skinny," when I brought it up, but I am underweight and was more so in high school. And I have patterns of restricted eating as well, but I've been good at hiding it and explaining it away.

Thoughts? Should I try to get treated somewhere else?
#11
I'm sorry if this makes anyone uncomfortable and I'm not meaning to trigger anyone. But there have been a few times when I'm describing my childhood abuse to a therapist, and more recently a psychiatrist, and they have asked me straight up if I was sexually abused.

Is this just something they ask everyone who says they were abused? Maybe they were just trying to understand more about my history. At the time I was afraid to ask.

I can sometimes be very afraid of sex and I don't have sex unless I really trust someone first. It can actually make me physically sick or at the very least uncomfortable to think about having sex with someone I don't know very well. I still sometimes get afraid or feel lightheaded even if I trust the person. Not sure how to describe this

This could just be related my other abuse. I may not have been sexually abused. I'm still trying to work through my memories, and I guess it comes down to figuring it out on my own. But I'm feeling afraid and wanted to put this out there.
#12
General Discussion / Re: Stimulant medication?
September 26, 2017, 11:33:01 PM
Three Roses, this is a different psychiatrist who I saw for the first time a couple months ago when I was having trouble getting schoolwork done. The other (possible narcissist?) is a therapist who I've been seeing for a few years.

Slim, I agree about the self-medicating. I can see where in the past I've tried to self-medicate with alcohol and I'm glad I didn't venture further down that road. I also had increased anxiety and other symptoms after I would drink.

I'm pretty much in the same boat, I want to trust doctors/therapists but it may take me a while to get to that place.


#13
Therapy / Feeling lost
September 26, 2017, 10:00:35 PM
Hi everybody.

I want to like my therapist and I have for a long time. I'm afraid there's something wrong with me, or that I'm just imagining things, but there have been times I've felt invalidated, talked over, like my thoughts/feelings are wrong, and that seems a little unhealthy. After my last session I've felt pretty out of it.

She primarily focuses on CBT I think, and says I shouldn't focus on the past.

Any ideas?
#14
General Discussion / Stimulant medication?
September 25, 2017, 08:47:54 PM
Hi, not sure if I'm posting this in the right place.

I was put on Adderall a few months ago by a psychatrist who said I had "severe adult ADHD." I think this strongly correlates with my C-PTSD symptoms.

Has anyone had any experience with this? My fear is that I will become addicted to it and not be able to cope without it. If I skip a dose I have trouble functioning, more so than when I started the medication.
#15
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Me (triggers)
September 20, 2017, 05:31:02 PM
Hi Laurel, I'm new to the forum as well and just wanted to say welcome and that you are not alone in this. I'm sorry to hear about what you've experienced because no child deserves that treatment. It seems to me that when someone is victimized, authority figures pick up on that and re-victimize. I've experienced this with some teachers and other people in my life. It's an absolutely unfair and disturbing process to be treated that way.
I also relate to some extent to the dissociation you've described and also the self harm. Large chunks of my childhood are missing/distorted, I escaped to fantasy often and like you I want more than anything to know what happened.
Best of luck with your new therapist. Thank you for having the courage to share and speak up about what you've been through. Sending nothing but good wishes to you.