Hi Mercury, welcome!
The way I see it, maybe "safe" may be too good to be true. After all, life isn't totally safe. Neither are people. And our brain is so habituated to feeling unsafe so changing all that may be beyond our power. Maybe life feeling safer may be a huge goal in itself.
I was thinking as I read your post that maybe recovery is a lot like mercury. It has its ups and downs. Sometimes you're very triggered, other times it's easier. Sometimes things catch you by surprise despite your best efforts. It doesn't seem to go in a straight line.
Information really helps me. Reading about trauma and the brain.
And there are good people here who understand.
I'm so, so sorry you went through so much. No wonder you're feeling the way you are! I can relate to that very much. You're not alone.
The way I see it, maybe "safe" may be too good to be true. After all, life isn't totally safe. Neither are people. And our brain is so habituated to feeling unsafe so changing all that may be beyond our power. Maybe life feeling safer may be a huge goal in itself.
I was thinking as I read your post that maybe recovery is a lot like mercury. It has its ups and downs. Sometimes you're very triggered, other times it's easier. Sometimes things catch you by surprise despite your best efforts. It doesn't seem to go in a straight line.
Information really helps me. Reading about trauma and the brain.
And there are good people here who understand.
I'm so, so sorry you went through so much. No wonder you're feeling the way you are! I can relate to that very much. You're not alone.