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Introductory Post / Re: hi
« Last post by Rainagain on Today at 11:25:25 AM »
Sunshine 31,

'Kind individual who is just extremely pained and confused about life'

That is exactly how I feel too, you nailed it.

I hope being here helps.
Isolation could be a valid response I think, almost healthy if it didn't bring other problems.

If you can't manage emotional boundaries then physical ones are a replacement.

If you've not had your fight/flight response wildly over revved for years then its hard for people to grasp what it is like.

And why would they even bother to understand? Why learn a language that only one person speaks?

That's the value here, true understanding.

Not often encountered really, some mental health specialists and us.

Been reflecting on miscommunication today in recent relationships. One person recently threw back at me a fact I had shared with them years ago, they did so as a passive/aggressive push back. They felt I was diminishing their keenly felt issues by sharing something so extreme. They had remembered the fact all that time then brought it out as something I had said to invalidate their situation.

I was genuinely trying to explain myself in my own context and it wasn't a negation of them or their situation (at least I hope not, it was so long ago). But they heard something else.

Another belittled my cptsd by saying her uncle had PTSD from active service. This person had the facts but not the understanding.

As if some people are more deserving of compassion than others.

That's basically saying get over it, pull yourself together, grow a pair, dry your legs. Be great if determination was a cure. But It isn't.

These people aren't hurtful or stupid by nature, they just don't understand what the facts mean.

To withdraw and isolate might be a symptom of cptsd, or it might be a normal protective response based on harsh experience of the way others view and judge you.

People don't get it, they often seem to fit the facts into a framework they understand but it doesn't work like that, our realities are so very different.

Its not a choice, its a trauma reaction.

Since I  can't seem to fit my trauma reaction into their world I will just stay in mine.
Friends / Re: people upset me
« Last post by Blueberry on Today at 10:50:07 AM »
I don't have answer but am sending  :hug: :hug: :hug: because I know how much this can hurt.
Music / Re: Runaway girl
« Last post by Convalescent on Today at 10:48:31 AM »
Therapy / Re: Mistrust of therapy for cptsd
« Last post by Rainagain on Today at 08:48:51 AM »
Such thoughtful posts on this thread. Wanted to add some more information.

I have been told my counsellor was wrong to undertake general supportive chat therapy whilst I was in such extreme conditions, I should apparently have been referred on.

But even if that's right it doesn't undermine therapy generally, just my poor experience.

The meds didn't help prevent deterioration, subsequent meds haven't helped either. But they don't work for all people. That doesn't mean they don't work at all, just didn't for me.

Its a personal subjective experience, trauma and recovery (or not).

My black and white thinking and my personal experiences are exactly that, an individual situation which has to be seen as that.

What is more significant is that others report problems with meds, others have trouble accessing treatment or progressing with their treatment.

So my situation is unique, but very similar to the unique situation faced by everyone else here.
Friends / people upset me
« Last post by sunshine31 on Today at 07:26:38 AM »
So just wanted to write that I have been feeling quite unwanted recently in general. I reached out to a old friend the other day about a week ago I thought they might have changed or try a bit more.. they were nice to me a little the other day asking me a few questions. then two days ago out of the blue did they send me a text saying not to text them again and that I was dead to them, I then instantly felt like they were messing with my feelings. because one minute they were nice the next they were not. Then yesterday they called me a waste of space. I just am really hurt by this. I struggle alot with trusting people. I sometimes feel like everyone will hurt me or be wierd with me.. even those I get close to or those I open up to. I never felt liked enough at school, had bits of bullying, and well in general I just feel like there is something wrong with me. I also felt instantly uncared for when I received these messages and my emotions completely changed in a instant. I have abandonment issues and they were really triggered again by this. I also never feel that I am good enough for people to stay. I just wonder sometimes why it is I get hurt so much by people. I had another friendship before this upset me too. I am a nice person all I want is friends. How do you trust people when people keep hurting you :Idunno:
Recovery Journals / Re: Deep Blue’s searching for balance journal
« Last post by Boy22 on Today at 06:21:58 AM »
Oh Deep Blue,

I have done so much crying in the last few years. I am now begining crying as catharsis, it is both a challenge and a relief,
I recommend everyone accesses a psychologist if they are able.  Even a session here and there or a few in a row every 6 months.   Make sure they know about complex ptsd of course! ! I am moving on. It's not 'fixed' but it won't stop me. 
Recovery Journals / Re: Deep Blue’s searching for balance journal
« Last post by Jdog on Today at 03:18:55 AM »
Oh, I used to get so many panic attacks.  One summer, maybe about 4 years ago, it happened almost every day.  But now, hardly ever.  I still have lots of shame, though. 

Good job addressing so many sensitive issues in such a short time, Deep Blue!!
Recovery Journals / Re: JDog's Journal
« Last post by Jdog on Today at 03:16:00 AM »
Thanks, loyal friends. 

Deep Blue- it pains me that an SRO ( or anyone) would dismiss you as a “female teacher”.  What the hey?  Is he from the Stone Age?  And yes, the good ones make such a difference!


Thanks for the kudos.  I think that the board will decide in November.

I had a chance to thank the school board member from my school’s area for the outstanding job she did speaking out on behalf of the SROs.  She and our Superintendent were in front of the high school today because we had our annual Homecoming Parade.  I actually didn’t want to talk with the Superintendent since there is a lot of controversy over how he is handling our budget crisis....but I sucked it up and made nice to him.  He makes more money than our state governor but refuses to take a pay cut even though we are deeply in debt.  Sigh. 
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