Recent posts
#1
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: new here - still in the st...
Last post by NarcKiddo - Today at 03:08:40 PMWelcome. I'm glad you found us. That experience with your friend really sucks. And you're right. It cuts both ways and she could perfectly well have contacted you. I'm sorry she didn't.
#2
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by Hope67 - Today at 02:28:53 PMHi StartingHealing,
Just wanted to wish you the best for the social meeting you're having this weekend - I hope it goes well and that you enjoy it.
Hope
Just wanted to wish you the best for the social meeting you're having this weekend - I hope it goes well and that you enjoy it.
Hope
#3
RE - Re-experiencing Trauma / Re: (Warning: PA, SA , EA talk...
Last post by Dalloway - Today at 12:35:09 PMI know your post was made a few weeks ago, but I wanted to express my sorrow about your situation and everything you went through because of your abusive brother. I believe it´s very difficult to be around someone who reminds you of the past abuse and your traumatic memories. I wonder if you managed to talk to your psychologist about this, I hope you did.
#4
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: new here - still in the st...
Last post by Dalloway - Today at 11:43:04 AMHi and welcome to the forum. Well, where to start? because most of what you explained was something I would tell about my life. It resonated with me so much and partly I´m sorry for that because that means we suffered a lot and continue to do, but on the other hand, your writing about this made me feel seen and validated, so thank you for that. I´m really sorry for everything you´ve been through, it´s really hard to feel invisible and not worthy of love. My background story is very similar - being constantly ignored, the only attention I got was the negative one. No one saw, comforted or validated me, no one ever told me they love me and appreciate me and that they are happy I´m alive. I was the invisible child, the one that needs no love and care, the one that can provide for herself, and apparently it was ok for everyone to think that a child can exist without love. But I was slowly dying inside, just like a plant would die without sunlight and water.
Your story about the old friend you reached out to was something I´ve just experienced, so it hit really hard. I had a seven years long grudge with my former partner, who I had a terrible breakup with. We haven´t talked since then, but I´v always carried the burden of guilt and wanted to apologize to him because of the things I said to him. I met him two days ago and that gave me a confidence boost to finally text him, which I did - the answer was rather cold and distant, he let me know that he doesn´t want to reopen the topic and doesn´t want to talk to me at all. Boy, it hurt so much, even though rationally I knew I have to accept his reaction and that he has a right not to accept my apology. But my emotions don´t care for rationality, so it was horrible, it still is, because his rejection reminded me of the core rejection from my mother, the invisibility, the worthlessness and the frustration: why can´t he understand that I was in huge pain when I did those things? That I was not ok back then? And most importantly: that now I am a way better person, way healthier, way more healed and much wiser that I would never do that to him or anyone else again? I felt so desperate to make him see and hear me...
It´s so comforting and so scary at the same time, how someone can hit the bullseye of my lived experience so precisely...I´ve always been doing this positivity thing, not letting myself to feel bad or stuck, because I´m afraid that if I allow myself to be down, I stay there forever. And it´s very hard to advocate for myself when the only one doing it for me is me. It makes me feel just more isolated and more alone.
I don´t mean to hijack your post, so sorry if it felt like that. I just had so many things to say because everything you wrote, resonated with me very much and made me feel validated. I thank you for that and hope that by writing these things down you felt a little relief at least.
Your story about the old friend you reached out to was something I´ve just experienced, so it hit really hard. I had a seven years long grudge with my former partner, who I had a terrible breakup with. We haven´t talked since then, but I´v always carried the burden of guilt and wanted to apologize to him because of the things I said to him. I met him two days ago and that gave me a confidence boost to finally text him, which I did - the answer was rather cold and distant, he let me know that he doesn´t want to reopen the topic and doesn´t want to talk to me at all. Boy, it hurt so much, even though rationally I knew I have to accept his reaction and that he has a right not to accept my apology. But my emotions don´t care for rationality, so it was horrible, it still is, because his rejection reminded me of the core rejection from my mother, the invisibility, the worthlessness and the frustration: why can´t he understand that I was in huge pain when I did those things? That I was not ok back then? And most importantly: that now I am a way better person, way healthier, way more healed and much wiser that I would never do that to him or anyone else again? I felt so desperate to make him see and hear me...
Quote from: beauty4ashes13 on November 02, 2025, 02:55:47 AMEven knowing this is a safe space to be real, I find myself wanting to temper everything I say with some note of positivity and a counting of my blessings because that is what has been ingrained in my psyche.
It´s so comforting and so scary at the same time, how someone can hit the bullseye of my lived experience so precisely...I´ve always been doing this positivity thing, not letting myself to feel bad or stuck, because I´m afraid that if I allow myself to be down, I stay there forever. And it´s very hard to advocate for myself when the only one doing it for me is me. It makes me feel just more isolated and more alone.I don´t mean to hijack your post, so sorry if it felt like that. I just had so many things to say because everything you wrote, resonated with me very much and made me feel validated. I thank you for that and hope that by writing these things down you felt a little relief at least.
#5
Physical Issues / Re: Skin problems in stressful...
Last post by NarcKiddo - Today at 11:13:59 AMI have not experienced such sudden and intense reactions. However I suffer from pompholyx eczema that reliably forms on my hands at times of stress. Sometimes it is the first thing that makes me aware of increased stress, given I am so used to living with a pretty heavy stress level generally. It is only controlled by prescription steroid creams - over the counter strength does nothing.
#6
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by StartingHealing - November 14, 2025, 11:25:03 PMHi San
My apologies. I removed that post.
My apologies. I removed that post.
#7
Conferences/Courses / Re: FREE, Rewiring to Break fr...
Last post by Blueberry - November 14, 2025, 10:17:16 PMI've heard a few interesting talks so far. Today there was one with an exercise in self-compassion, which made me feel calmer.
#8
Conferences/Courses / Re: FREE webinar: Mapping Your...
Last post by Blueberry - November 14, 2025, 10:15:40 PMThis was disappointing. Generally I like Alex Howard's stuff, but idk it seemed he and Diane P.H. were wasting time,a bit. Or I'm not as patient as I used to be 
Plus the last 15-20 minutes were all about trying to sell their upcoming series that you have to pay for. Oh well.
Plus the last 15-20 minutes were all about trying to sell their upcoming series that you have to pay for. Oh well. #9
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - ...
Last post by Blueberry - November 14, 2025, 10:10:13 PM1) I'm on the upswing again
2) I'm better able to clean and tidy atm
3) I did two things today that I've been putting off for months: collected my new orthopedic insoles and washed a window
4) I feel better able to go out among people
2) I'm better able to clean and tidy atm
3) I did two things today that I've been putting off for months: collected my new orthopedic insoles and washed a window
4) I feel better able to go out among people
#10
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Last post by Chart - November 14, 2025, 08:57:37 PMQuote from: sanmagic7 on November 13, 2025, 01:51:48 PMstill, i felt good enough to get out and walk, took a leaf stroll - one of my favorite things is crunching fallen leaves in the fallI love that too!
