Recent posts
#1
Personality Disorder (Perpetrator) / Re: Undiagnosed Autistic Mothe...
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 08:05:27 PMHi Whobuddy 
Welcome back, I do remember your name. There are a few oldies from back then still on the forum.
I don't know about autism, hope others have more to contribute.
Welcome back, I do remember your name. There are a few oldies from back then still on the forum. I don't know about autism, hope others have more to contribute.
#2
General Discussion / Re: Triggering event: our cat'...
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 07:53:26 PMGlad to hear your cat's doing better.
#3
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 07:51:04 PMHm. San, I don't agree with your new T's suggestion that this forum is enough for you. If that were the case you wouldn't have been looking for a T in the first place. Grr. Of course this forum and the people on it are incredibly helpful and supportive in our healing journeys, but a T can add different support. Especially face to face in-person throughout your 45 mins all centred on you. Plus as she gets to know you better I'd be hoping she can add therapeutic interventions that none of us can. 
#4
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Seeking Support after Extr...
Last post by MiaBailey - Today at 06:56:47 PMYou guys are great.
#5
Emotional Abuse / Re: Death by a Thousand Cuts
Last post by MiaBailey - Today at 06:47:18 PMThank you for all of your responses. 
#6
Personality Disorder (Perpetrator) / Re: Undiagnosed Autistic Mothe...
Last post by Whobuddy - Today at 06:11:45 PMThank you for the reply and the article. I hadn't come across that one. Most articles deal with autistic parents who have a diagnosis and they are doing their best to parent their children - or how to parent autistic children. Autism had not even been identified until my M was an adult. It makes me sad that she never got support for the overwhelm she must have felt all her life.
My head is really spinning as to how to process this new information.
I know they always tell us that the abuse wasn't about us and I had understood that on some sort of cognitive level but now I see much more clearly how it REALLY wasn't about me, she was coping the best she could considering her disorder. But it was very frightening for me as a child. Apparently, some autistic people don't remember all or part of what they do during a meltdown. It was so confusing how afterwards she would act like nothing had happened.
This explains so much about her inconsistency, and why once my sisters and I had become adults and moved out of the house, how she seemed to be able to cope somewhat better.
It's a lot.
I hadn't come across that one. Most articles deal with autistic parents who have a diagnosis and they are doing their best to parent their children - or how to parent autistic children. Autism had not even been identified until my M was an adult. It makes me sad that she never got support for the overwhelm she must have felt all her life. My head is really spinning as to how to process this new information.
I know they always tell us that the abuse wasn't about us and I had understood that on some sort of cognitive level but now I see much more clearly how it REALLY wasn't about me, she was coping the best she could considering her disorder. But it was very frightening for me as a child. Apparently, some autistic people don't remember all or part of what they do during a meltdown. It was so confusing how afterwards she would act like nothing had happened.This explains so much about her inconsistency, and why once my sisters and I had become adults and moved out of the house, how she seemed to be able to cope somewhat better.
It's a lot.
#7
General Discussion / Re: Triggering event: our cat'...
Last post by Kizzie - Today at 05:06:58 PMI feel the same about any pets we have had over the years that got sick, although fortunately I didn't have to deal with my parents taking care of them. I could feel how that must feel for you though and I'm sorry you had that to deal with on top of everything else you have going on.
I'm very glad to hear the cat is doing better now and that your parents are getting it the care it needs.
I'm very glad to hear the cat is doing better now and that your parents are getting it the care it needs.
#8
Personality Disorder (Perpetrator) / Re: Undiagnosed Autistic Mothe...
Last post by Kizzie - Today at 05:00:53 PMI do remember you WhoBuddy, welcome back!
That's quite the revelation about your M. I did Google "parents with autism" and there is quite a bit from various organizations although not much in academic journals apparently. Here's just one I found. I don't know if it quite matches what you've said about your M - https://heller.brandeis.edu/parents-with-disabilities/pdfs/autism-parent-factsheet.pdf. I suppose it matters where on the spectrum a parent is.
In any event, I think what matters is how it affected you and from the sounds of it you needed to be invisible a lot of the time to avoid her anger so developing CPTSD is not a surprise. My M was a narcissist due to trauma in her own life and it was the same for me. Even though I can now feel some compassion for her because of what brought her to be an N, I still have a lot of feelings about losing my childhood and ending up struggling with CPTSD.
Hopefully there will be a few members whose parent(s) were autistic who can share their experiences.
That's quite the revelation about your M. I did Google "parents with autism" and there is quite a bit from various organizations although not much in academic journals apparently. Here's just one I found. I don't know if it quite matches what you've said about your M - https://heller.brandeis.edu/parents-with-disabilities/pdfs/autism-parent-factsheet.pdf. I suppose it matters where on the spectrum a parent is.
In any event, I think what matters is how it affected you and from the sounds of it you needed to be invisible a lot of the time to avoid her anger so developing CPTSD is not a surprise. My M was a narcissist due to trauma in her own life and it was the same for me. Even though I can now feel some compassion for her because of what brought her to be an N, I still have a lot of feelings about losing my childhood and ending up struggling with CPTSD.
Hopefully there will be a few members whose parent(s) were autistic who can share their experiences.
#9
General Discussion / Re: Triggering event: our cat'...
Last post by TheBigBlue - Today at 04:38:56 PMHi Teddy bear,
I'm really glad to read that the cat seems to be feeling better. That must be such a relief after the worry of the last days. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the tests go well and that she continues to improve. 💛
I also really resonate with how triggering illness or harm to animals can be. Pets can mean so much, especially when the human environment around us was difficult. In my family our cats and dogs always slept in my bed growing up, and their unconditional love was a huge regulating anchor for me in an environment that otherwise felt relationally unsafe. So when something happens to them, it can touch very deep places.
It sounds like you're carrying a lot right now: concern for the animals, tension with your parents, and trying to navigate your own health and medication. I hope the new doctor turns out to be good (enough) and supportive for the tapering process.
I'm really glad the cat is doing a bit better today. 🐾
I'm really glad to read that the cat seems to be feeling better. That must be such a relief after the worry of the last days. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the tests go well and that she continues to improve. 💛
I also really resonate with how triggering illness or harm to animals can be. Pets can mean so much, especially when the human environment around us was difficult. In my family our cats and dogs always slept in my bed growing up, and their unconditional love was a huge regulating anchor for me in an environment that otherwise felt relationally unsafe. So when something happens to them, it can touch very deep places.
It sounds like you're carrying a lot right now: concern for the animals, tension with your parents, and trying to navigate your own health and medication. I hope the new doctor turns out to be good (enough) and supportive for the tapering process.
I'm really glad the cat is doing a bit better today. 🐾
