Recent posts
#1
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - ...
Last post by Blueberry - November 10, 2025, 07:32:51 PM1) Decided it's time I got back on (some sort of) track and followed through
2) I cooked a fairly healthy meal, using up various bits of veg while I was about it
3) I have done some tidying - all of the: a bit here and a bit there variety
4) Finally had a shower and hairwash - in fact first big thing I did after deciding it's time I got back on track
5) I've done a little spot-cleaning, also of the: a bit here and a bit there variety.
6) I feel better having done a little tidying and cleaning. I especially feel better when I'm in the kitchen
2) I cooked a fairly healthy meal, using up various bits of veg while I was about it
3) I have done some tidying - all of the: a bit here and a bit there variety
4) Finally had a shower and hairwash - in fact first big thing I did after deciding it's time I got back on track
5) I've done a little spot-cleaning, also of the: a bit here and a bit there variety.
6) I feel better having done a little tidying and cleaning. I especially feel better when I'm in the kitchen
#2
Therapy / Re: Therapy directly on a core...
Last post by LadyBoar - November 10, 2025, 06:09:27 PMHey Blueberry! I'm new here and just checked your thread.
One thing I can say is that I relate to the hitting the same nail in therapy again and again And I also had quite a few dissociative episodes in my life.
To me it always seems I am looking at the same thing but from another angle, if that makes sense.
Like looking at a cube but from different angles seeing different sides of it. Now make the cube a shape that has hundreds of sides that can only be seen in different angles.
Once I think I figure it out, I'm back at it again trying to understand what I'm truly looking at, I believe it will take time to get the full picture.
One thing I can say is that I relate to the hitting the same nail in therapy again and again And I also had quite a few dissociative episodes in my life.
To me it always seems I am looking at the same thing but from another angle, if that makes sense.
Like looking at a cube but from different angles seeing different sides of it. Now make the cube a shape that has hundreds of sides that can only be seen in different angles.
Once I think I figure it out, I'm back at it again trying to understand what I'm truly looking at, I believe it will take time to get the full picture.
#3
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Outside my own head
Last post by LadyBoar - November 10, 2025, 05:56:15 PMQuote from: wooboyattachmenttrauma on November 08, 2025, 02:31:20 PMI am really sorry about the loss of your cat. Also side note--I am envious you live in a different country from your family of origin, I would love that!
Thank you, wooboy. She was the most cheeky cat ever and I miss her a lot. But I have many good memories with her <3
Moving away was the second best decision of my life (first being marrying my husband), I was very fortunate and thankful for the opportunity!
And yet, even from far away my family still impacts negatively... But I'm working in establishing proper boundaries.
And thank you for you message wooboy! Nice to meet you.
#4
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by NarcKiddo - November 10, 2025, 05:03:40 PMI've been catching up with your journal. Sorry about the freezer debacle. That sucks.
I was interested to read about your consideration of what to do with the dog mementoes. Like you, I have photos and memories and feelings of mine. In fact, my husband and I talk about them or refer to them every single day. I kid you not. It's not a maudlin, how much we miss them sort of a way, but more like the attitude to life they had and how much we could learn from it. One was a cheeky little chap up for adventure any time and the other was very staid and particular, demanding that every single day be the same as the day before. Both attitudes have their up and down sides. Everyone's different but despite how they are still very much alive to me there are certain things of theirs I simply cannot part with. Their leads and harnesses hang in their places to this day, some 6 years since they went on ahead. I don't really notice them there any more but I certainly would notice their absence. Anyway, I'm banging on way too much in your journal now.
This really resonated. I am sorry you have to contend with the issues you mention. There are aspects of that here (UK) but not as much as the media would have us believe. It's very much in pockets. For me the trade off is more about the risk of having maybe some closer human interactions that might not work out so well. But I think your sentiment probably applies to most people on this forum, even if their fears are not about the same thing.
I'm happy to read that you are progressing towards becoming your own best friend. That's so important and a very worthwhile endeavour. It's also really hard for us folks, so it's nice to be able to cheer on a fellow traveller.
I was interested to read about your consideration of what to do with the dog mementoes. Like you, I have photos and memories and feelings of mine. In fact, my husband and I talk about them or refer to them every single day. I kid you not. It's not a maudlin, how much we miss them sort of a way, but more like the attitude to life they had and how much we could learn from it. One was a cheeky little chap up for adventure any time and the other was very staid and particular, demanding that every single day be the same as the day before. Both attitudes have their up and down sides. Everyone's different but despite how they are still very much alive to me there are certain things of theirs I simply cannot part with. Their leads and harnesses hang in their places to this day, some 6 years since they went on ahead. I don't really notice them there any more but I certainly would notice their absence. Anyway, I'm banging on way too much in your journal now.
Quote from: StartingHealing on November 10, 2025, 01:31:59 PMI'd like to have friends in IRL and at the same time ... I wonder if the trade off is worth it.
This really resonated. I am sorry you have to contend with the issues you mention. There are aspects of that here (UK) but not as much as the media would have us believe. It's very much in pockets. For me the trade off is more about the risk of having maybe some closer human interactions that might not work out so well. But I think your sentiment probably applies to most people on this forum, even if their fears are not about the same thing.
I'm happy to read that you are progressing towards becoming your own best friend. That's so important and a very worthwhile endeavour. It's also really hard for us folks, so it's nice to be able to cheer on a fellow traveller.
#5
Therapy / Re: Therapy directly on a core...
Last post by Blueberry - November 10, 2025, 02:44:28 PMQuote from: Blueberry on October 31, 2025, 06:04:15 PMI've kind of answered my own question just this week. I ended up doing pretty deep stuff on what I'd see as a core wound with my OT. Inner Child work + somatic stuff I was aware of.
So it's probably not so much the method as how much I'm able to work on a core wound. I know I said during the work that I'd been there before just not at such a deep level.
I'm repeating this for myself and anybody else interested! With some bolding added.
#6
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: I'm new here and happy to ...
Last post by Blueberry - November 10, 2025, 02:38:09 PMWelcome to the forum, EB!
I hope you come to find this forum as supportive as I have over the years. There's always at least one person who can relate to any symptom or experience I write about, which is very validating, and doesn't happen outside the forum to this extent or at all in many cases.
I hope you come to find this forum as supportive as I have over the years. There's always at least one person who can relate to any symptom or experience I write about, which is very validating, and doesn't happen outside the forum to this extent or at all in many cases.
#7
Physical Issues / Re: Scarlet fever/Tonsillitis ...
Last post by Blueberry - November 10, 2025, 02:31:45 PMThank you! I rested all Sunday and most of today. I do feel better now and think I can manage a few things.
I did think of you and your stress flu, that's partly why I posted on this part of the forum - good to let others know this is actually a thing!
The explanation I found put it down to anxiety, at least as a possible cause, rather than cptsd, but anxiety is one of my biiiig symptoms so that makes sense. (I don't mean to say that your stress flu is due to anxiety) I do have a fair 'history' of lying (feeling as if) shivering under the bedclothes when in an EF, but this time I was actually shaking. Actually I remember now that standing up and making yourself shake is used in some of the healing retreats I go on, that helps 'get rid of stuff' because lots of feelings, memories and who knows what come up in these retreats.
I woke up this morning, late, and the mouth pain etc are all gone. I think it's good I did not follow thru on what was planned Sunday/Monday tho. This was probably telling me that I needed a break.
Quote from: sanmagic7 on November 09, 2025, 01:10:06 PMi sometimes get these symptoms with stress flu, including going from shivering cold to way too hot/feverish. and feeling miserable underneath it all.
I did think of you and your stress flu, that's partly why I posted on this part of the forum - good to let others know this is actually a thing!
The explanation I found put it down to anxiety, at least as a possible cause, rather than cptsd, but anxiety is one of my biiiig symptoms so that makes sense. (I don't mean to say that your stress flu is due to anxiety) I do have a fair 'history' of lying (feeling as if) shivering under the bedclothes when in an EF, but this time I was actually shaking. Actually I remember now that standing up and making yourself shake is used in some of the healing retreats I go on, that helps 'get rid of stuff' because lots of feelings, memories and who knows what come up in these retreats.
Quote from: sanmagic7 on January 15, 2020, 06:38:22 PMthat energy has to go somewhere!I like this. Really fits in with what I was experiencing this time. Also makes sense for retreats because that energy excess is going to be compounded in a group and lead to not so good group dynamics if not dealt with.
I woke up this morning, late, and the mouth pain etc are all gone. I think it's good I did not follow thru on what was planned Sunday/Monday tho. This was probably telling me that I needed a break.
#8
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by StartingHealing - November 10, 2025, 01:31:59 PM11/10/25
I've noticed that I'm more comfortable with the silence that exists in my experience now. I still miss the physical presence of those that have moved on to their next adventure. I'm getting better at being acquainted with myself. Still working on being my own best friend. That's coming along pretty good as well.
I'd like to have friends in IRL and at the same time ... I wonder if the trade off is worth it. I mean the threat vectors that exist .. Sheesh. I mean, hanging with friends, having a good time, and if the language gets loose as it were, someone not even associated with the group could become "offended" because of their ideology, record video, edit to "prove" their point, and post it. And I'm smoked because of my gender. And the same folks that do this crap also are wondering where all the 'good' folks of my gender went to. To counteract that I need to get a body cam and record every interaction? Judas. What ever happened to the innocent till proven guilty? Now it's I'm guilty until I can prove that I'm innocent. Thing is, even if the legal aspects are handled, the reputational damage happens.
Have to get back after it. Day job.
Wishing all here all the best
I've noticed that I'm more comfortable with the silence that exists in my experience now. I still miss the physical presence of those that have moved on to their next adventure. I'm getting better at being acquainted with myself. Still working on being my own best friend. That's coming along pretty good as well.
I'd like to have friends in IRL and at the same time ... I wonder if the trade off is worth it. I mean the threat vectors that exist .. Sheesh. I mean, hanging with friends, having a good time, and if the language gets loose as it were, someone not even associated with the group could become "offended" because of their ideology, record video, edit to "prove" their point, and post it. And I'm smoked because of my gender. And the same folks that do this crap also are wondering where all the 'good' folks of my gender went to. To counteract that I need to get a body cam and record every interaction? Judas. What ever happened to the innocent till proven guilty? Now it's I'm guilty until I can prove that I'm innocent. Thing is, even if the legal aspects are handled, the reputational damage happens.
Have to get back after it. Day job.
Wishing all here all the best
#9
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: I'm new here and happy to ...
Last post by Kizzie - November 09, 2025, 05:26:58 PMHi EB and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm 
It sounds like you doing well in recovery and managed to find a great therapist - bravo! I hope being here, sharing with other members and reading their posts will help you feel you have peers who 'get it'. That's such a good feeling IMO given so many of us feel we are outsiders or are different from everyone else. Plus, it helps I find to understand we were injured at the hands of someone else versus that we are disordered or broken in some way.
You're not alone with your CPTSD here
It sounds like you doing well in recovery and managed to find a great therapist - bravo! I hope being here, sharing with other members and reading their posts will help you feel you have peers who 'get it'. That's such a good feeling IMO given so many of us feel we are outsiders or are different from everyone else. Plus, it helps I find to understand we were injured at the hands of someone else versus that we are disordered or broken in some way.
You're not alone with your CPTSD here
#10
Physical Issues / Re: Scarlet fever/Tonsillitis ...
Last post by Kizzie - November 09, 2025, 05:13:56 PMGet some more rest and feel better soon BB! 