Recent posts
#11
Recovery Journals / Re: My journey so far
Last post by Little2Nothing - April 24, 2024, 07:55:05 PMTW
The realization hit me today that this escapade through suffering will never end. The perpetual sadness and memories are endless.
I want to scream in rage at tje injustice of it all. How do you navigate all of this? Therapy is helpful but only so far. Every day is a struggle, and every effort to heal feels fruitless. I don't know who I am or who I should be. I feel fake and empty.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
The realization hit me today that this escapade through suffering will never end. The perpetual sadness and memories are endless.
I want to scream in rage at tje injustice of it all. How do you navigate all of this? Therapy is helpful but only so far. Every day is a struggle, and every effort to heal feels fruitless. I don't know who I am or who I should be. I feel fake and empty.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
#12
Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal 2024
Last post by Hope67 - April 24, 2024, 06:53:26 PMHi SanMagic,Armee,NarcKiddo,woodsgnome, and Papa Coco,
Thank you so much for what you each said. I really appreciated you writing what you did. It helped me through the time when I had some stressful stuff going on. Thank you!
**********
24th April 2024
Last night I dreamed about my past work - it felt very emotional - but it was also noticeable that I seemed to be processing things about it - which I thought was a good thing. I even cried in my sleep. I'm glad though - because I want to process things, and I felt it was definitely doing that.
I hope to write more in the coming week - as I want to write a few things.
Hope
Thank you so much for what you each said. I really appreciated you writing what you did. It helped me through the time when I had some stressful stuff going on. Thank you!
**********
24th April 2024
Last night I dreamed about my past work - it felt very emotional - but it was also noticeable that I seemed to be processing things about it - which I thought was a good thing. I even cried in my sleep. I'm glad though - because I want to process things, and I felt it was definitely doing that.
I hope to write more in the coming week - as I want to write a few things.
Hope
#13
Neglect/Abandonment / Re: Infancy trauma - any other...
Last post by Chart - April 24, 2024, 04:49:23 PMI think this is going to take a little while to sink in...
#14
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: New member
Last post by Little2Nothing - April 24, 2024, 04:17:35 PMWelcome, Kcrystal!
#15
Recovery Journals / Re: Forging New Paths
Last post by sanmagic7 - April 24, 2024, 04:15:23 PMpersonally, blueberry, that's kind of a pet peeve for me, asking me if it's ok if something's not going to go the way i wanted or expected. i'm glad you were in a good enough place for it to be ok, tho.
i like this meditation/music stuff for you. it sounds like, at times, it's very helpful. interesting that when the time shift was off, so was the meditation. hope you can figure it out. love and hugs
i like this meditation/music stuff for you. it sounds like, at times, it's very helpful. interesting that when the time shift was off, so was the meditation. hope you can figure it out. love and hugs
#16
Recovery Journals / Re: Sage's Journal
Last post by Little2Nothing - April 24, 2024, 04:14:33 PMNice little house, well done!!!
#17
Recovery Journals / Re: Sage's Journal
Last post by sanmagic7 - April 24, 2024, 04:10:53 PMjust adorable, CF. it's really cute.
again, so glad you got your disability. my D finally got a diagnosis that could be what the board/judge is looking for during her next round, which will be in about a year. i totally get the anxiety about finances - it's one of the reasons we're moving - we can't afford where we live anymore, she can't make enough money by working to pick up the slack from my own retirement stuff. it's a horrific place to be stuck in, and i'm so glad you're out of it and on the other side. yay!!! love and hugs
again, so glad you got your disability. my D finally got a diagnosis that could be what the board/judge is looking for during her next round, which will be in about a year. i totally get the anxiety about finances - it's one of the reasons we're moving - we can't afford where we live anymore, she can't make enough money by working to pick up the slack from my own retirement stuff. it's a horrific place to be stuck in, and i'm so glad you're out of it and on the other side. yay!!! love and hugs
#18
Neglect/Abandonment / Re: Infancy trauma - any other...
Last post by Armee - April 24, 2024, 04:09:31 PMAmazing story Papa C. Also adding into the layers...maternal stress hormones pass thru the umbilical and in an anatomically female fetus all the eggs they will ever carry are formed in utero as well. So the eggs that went on to become MY babies were formed in my mother's womb while my father tried to kill her.
#19
Neglect/Abandonment / Re: Infancy trauma - any other...
Last post by Papa Coco - April 24, 2024, 04:04:07 PMChart,
Absolutely. I even go farther. I have found that trauma is passed down before utero. For example, my x-rays show that my skeleton is contorted with Scoliosis as if I were compensating for a missing right arm. My son's x-rays also show that his body seems to be compensating for a missing right arm. When the doctors ask about my father, all I can say is that during WWII, he lost his right arm when he was 20 years of age. I was conceived when he was 40. His physical traumas were passed down through DNA to me, and then to my son. So, if physical trauma can be passed down through DNA, I assume emotional trauma can also. There's a book, It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, by Mark Wolynn.
And when we're babies, our brains are wide open as we learn who we are, so traumas that happen in childhood set the direction for the rest of our lives, so the younger we are when trauma happens, the deeper it seems to embed itself into our wiring.
To summarize, I agree with your theories above. I think trauma definitely started early: In utero, in infancy, even in our ancestry.
Absolutely. I even go farther. I have found that trauma is passed down before utero. For example, my x-rays show that my skeleton is contorted with Scoliosis as if I were compensating for a missing right arm. My son's x-rays also show that his body seems to be compensating for a missing right arm. When the doctors ask about my father, all I can say is that during WWII, he lost his right arm when he was 20 years of age. I was conceived when he was 40. His physical traumas were passed down through DNA to me, and then to my son. So, if physical trauma can be passed down through DNA, I assume emotional trauma can also. There's a book, It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, by Mark Wolynn.
And when we're babies, our brains are wide open as we learn who we are, so traumas that happen in childhood set the direction for the rest of our lives, so the younger we are when trauma happens, the deeper it seems to embed itself into our wiring.
To summarize, I agree with your theories above. I think trauma definitely started early: In utero, in infancy, even in our ancestry.
#20
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hi everyone - TW just in c...
Last post by Kizzie - April 24, 2024, 02:59:26 PMHi and a warm welcome Niko. You are among friends here and we do understand so post away when you feel comfortable doing so.