New to Out of the storm

[Londongal]

Hi,

I'm new to the forum. I'm 39,and was diagnosed with CPTSD 2 years ago. Needless to say, it's affected all of my adult life, and some of my childhood. Being diagnosed was a relief in a way - I assumed that I was broken in some way, and addiction, hospitalisation, medication and failed relationships and friendships underlined the feeling.

I've been in EMDR for just over a year, it's helped a lot, but I'm still pretty much constantly hyper vigilant, and EF and disassociation can creep up on me when I'm not being 'mindful'.

My Mother was physically and emotionally abusive, I was the scapegoat, and it started when I was around 6. My Dad was an enabler, and abusive in similar ways.

I wanted to thank everyone here for making such a helpful and supportive community. I've been lurking here for about a year, and it's helped me feel a lot less alone.

[Blueberry]

Welcome to the forum! Congrats on having the courage to join up after lurking for a while 

[Kizzie]

Hi and a very warm welcome to OOTS Londongal!     Glad you took the risk to post, I know from personal experience just how difficult that can be.     FWIW that's why the forum is open to guests; so that people who feel vulnerable (as most of us with CPTSD do), can take their time, read and hopefully develop enough of a sense of safety/comfort to post.

Anyway, glad you are here and I hope you do find posting helpful. It can take a bit to settle in so please take your time 

[Londongal]

Welcome to the forum! Congrats on having the courage to join up after lurking for a while 

Thank you Blueberry 

[Londongal]

Hi and a very warm welcome to OOTS Londongal!     Glad you took the risk to post, I know from personal experience just how difficult that can be.     FWIW that's why the forum is open to guests; so that people who feel vulnerable (as most of us with CPTSD do), can take their time, read and hopefully develop enough of a sense of safety/comfort to post.

Anyway, glad you are here and I hope you do find posting helpful. It can take a bit to settle in so please take your time 

Thank you so much Kizzie! I've learnt a lot during my lurking months  and hope to be able to bring something positive to this amazing community.

[Fen Starshimmer]

Hi Londongal,

Welcome to the forum from another Brit who knows London well.

I am a few years older than you - in my 50s, and was the scapegoat in my family too, with both parents involved in gaslighting. So yes, I ended up very confused and full of self-loathing with a load of other problems.

Interesting to hear that EMDR worked for you. I haven't tried it.

My hypervigilance and EFs calmed down when I moved out of London into a quiet area, stopped working in triggering environments (mainly from home).
I have tried all sorts of methods for healing, whatever I was drawn to that I could afford. It's an ongoing project, and I am grateful for the peace I now feel.

I wish you well on your journey, hope you find the keys to unlocking the places that need healing, and share with us your successes to celebrate.