How do I say this??

[Deep Blue]

I like your new pic. It's cool looking.

I'm sorry you are anxious.  Any idea where it's coming from?

[Three Roses]

Thanks, I drew it using that new app.

I think my anxiety is coming from the anger I know I will have to let out ... Someday.

[Blueberry]

Thanks, I drew it using that new app.

It looks really beautiful.

As for anger - I sure remember when it was festering away waiting to explode some day and me holding it in. I agree with san: small steps with anger release can help chip away at it, to keep it contained till you have a safe place for it. Therapy in January, right? Two months seems a loooong time to wait, but it will pass.   

[Deep Blue]

I have a better relationship with anger than some of my other emotions.  Anger feels better to me than shame, sadness and fear.  I still agree with you that it can be toxic to continually carry it with you.

Releasing the anger is a great idea, but don't forget self care is a positive way to let some of it melt away as well.  Love ya darling  if it feels safe

[sanmagic7]

i think the more you're talking about your anger, the closer you're getting to letting it out.  keep up the good work.  it'll happen when you're ready.

love your pic.  love and hugs always.

[Three Roses]

Yesterday was the anniversary of my mother's death and I find that I'm grieving her afresh today. I see the many sacrifices she made for her children - the shabby shoes, outdated clothing, cheap haircuts, so there would be more for us. Most of all she gave up her music, which was dear to her soul and for which I'm sure she paid a high price.

Still, the thing I wanted most from her was emotional connection, a relationship based on honesty and mutual love and respect. That, she did not know how to give me, and so today I weep for us both.

[Elphanigh]

 

Sending lots of love today, Three Roses. Let me know if there is anything you need at all

[Hope67]

Dear Three Roses, I would also like to send you love today - and a gentle hug of compassion and support    Where's that lovely big and gentle hug    that's the one I wanted to send to you. 

Hope 

[Blueberry]

 

[Deep Blue]

I'm sorry for what you didn't get as a child.  IMO that's just as important as food and water.  Take care and I'm sending you hugs too.

[woodsgnome]

Sending hugs, but beyond that a wish for deep peace within to soothe your feelings as you grieve the ache in your heart.   

Thank you for being you, even when it all feels so lost.

[Three Roses]

Thanks, everyone 

[sanmagic7]

sorry i didn't get to this sooner, 3r, but i join the others in saying that it's just too bad it went down like that.  your grieving for you both made total sense to me.   i'm glad you were able to include yourself.  love and a hug filled with caring, peace, and compassion.   

[Hope67]

Just sending you another hug, Three Roses 
Hope 

[Three Roses]

It's a beautiful day today, the sun is out and the sky is blue, the air is briskly cold and the dew is frozen on the grass. I feel refreshed and awake.

My SIL arrived here a week and a half ago, as she was staying in a furnished place where there were fires. She threw her most important belongings in her truck and got out in time, but the place she was staying in burned to the ground. Having no place else to go she asked to come here. We haven't historically been close and in fact there was a lot of friction between us. But I think I finally understand her. Knowing more about cptsd allows me to see the symptoms in others and I'm pretty sure she has it. I'm working on forgiving myself for the EFs I have, and that allows me to also extend forgiveness and understanding to others when they are upset. I think our relationship is healed. Huzzah!

The day she got here, my BIL also arrived for a visit on his way further south for a vacation. Our little house was crowded! SIL left Sunday and BIL left this morning.

Today feels peaceful and calm.