hi

[sunshine31]

Hi I am new here
in need of some support
complex trauma in adulthood been through so so much
also childhood neglect
kind individual who is just extremely pained and confused about life

[milk]

Welcome 

[sunshine31]

Hi thankyou
I didnt really know what to say for a introduction
Spent most the evening upset
was triggered by a old friend i reached out to who was nice to me the other day and then today messaged me saying something unkind

[Boy22]

I'm sad to hear that Sunshine31, I have progressively isolated myself from anyone who knew me prior to age 25.

I had a very kind a gentle orthodontist as a child.

Anyway, welcome. You will find many kind and caring people here. Virtual hugs are also very safe hugs. 

[milk]

Sunshine, your intro post is just right 
I will speak for myself - I take people as they are, so feel free to share every which way you want to (within the forum guidelines of course)

Sorry to hear about your friend saying something unkind. when this has happened to me, i told my friend how I felt - gave them the choice to come around and be there — and if they cant, I knew what I  needed and that helped me to decide the level of interaction with this person.

When I get triggered there are a few things I do: pluck some fresh lavender and rub it in between my fingers for a quick sniff (its calming) and I make noises to myself when crossing the street - I know its weird - but its me. What do you do to self soothe?


;  )

[sunshine31]

this was a old friend who i hadne been friends with for a year. because it went wrong and it was somewhat partly abusive emotionally abusive friendship. so i got triggered for a number of reasons. he messaged me saying that i was dead to him and not to message again despite him being nice a few days ago
i also had another abusive friendship a few years ago which was emotionally abusive but was worse than that one.
i just am dealign with so much in regards to my trauma recovery, my mental illness, and things i been through that makes no sense
and i was only being nice, i thought maybe they would change
so yes i got triggered my mood went to completely depressed and anxious and i felt like i deserved nothing good ever as it constantly feels like constant rubbish
i also have abandonment issues
I also feel I may have a dissociative identity disorder aswell though not diagnosed
and things are so difficult and i find things to be so lonely
i only reached out to him as i still cared
just felt like my feelings were being messed with again
yes i do self soothe sometimes
but this time I didnt i got angry and i felt like a abused bit of rubbish
thankyou for your comments

[milk]

sending positive thoughts your way 

[sunshine31]

thanks you very much for your positive thoughts and the smiles

[Rainagain]

Sunshine 31,

'Kind individual who is just extremely pained and confused about life'

That is exactly how I feel too, you nailed it.

I hope being here helps.

[Kizzie]

   What Rain wrote Sunshine. 

Welcome to OOTS