Self Expression

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goblinchild

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Self Expression
« on: November 06, 2018, 11:15:33 PM »
I didn't realize fully until lately that I haven't really been expressing myself. At all. For years. Now that I'm re-evaluating my life in that respect, I feel very overwhelmed. I feel like I'm looking around at my situation, at myself, at the last ten years like some kind of tragedy happened and I'm trying to comprehend it. I'm trying to understand the way I've been thinking and it feels like it's beyond me and that's scary. I'm usually good at analyzing feelings and experiences. This feels kind of like a weight and an unimaginable void all at once.

There are things that keep occurring to me now that I should do. Self expressive things, like haircuts and hobbies and whether I should buy or talk about certain things. I think about doing these things and I feel like myself. (I haven't had that feeling in a long time!) But then I don't do them and I don't know why. I keep putting things off. Maybe all of this is much bigger and more complicated then I can see right now?

Still, I feel like there are all these things I want to do and I look around at my life right now and it feels like there's figuratively and literally no room.

I feel like I came here with the intent to vent and ask questions but now that I'm writing, all of this feels so big. I have too many thoughts and feelings. Has anyone else been through this?

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Boy22

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Re: Self Expression
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2018, 01:06:03 AM »
I know the totally overwhelmed and unable to begin to even explain it.

Fortunately I had already met a good therapist who I could reconnect with and begin the journey I am still on.

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Three Roses

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Re: Self Expression
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2018, 02:48:57 AM »
Quote
I feel like I came here with the intent to vent and ask questions but now that I'm writing, all of this feels so big. I have too many thoughts and feelings. Has anyone else been through this?

This is exactly what I've been struggling with! You are def not alone.

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Wattlebird

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Re: Self Expression
« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2018, 04:01:50 AM »
 :yeahthat: 

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Laura90

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Re: Self Expression
« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2018, 07:09:14 AM »
Def me, all the time. The  left with that big unsettling question? Who am I?
 :pissed: :blink:

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goblinchild

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Re: Self Expression
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2018, 02:36:32 AM »
Thanks for all the support. I decided to start acting on being expressive and promptly ran into part of the real reason I hadn't been. Now I'm an existential mess.
Def me, all the time. The  left with that big unsettling question? Who am I?
 :pissed: :blink:

I'm definitely there. I feel like all I've ever known is isolation, I'm afraid that I'm too messed up and I'll never connect with people enough to feel like I matter again.