Two steps forward, three steps back

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Snookiebookie

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Two steps forward, three steps back
« on: November 08, 2018, 08:46:15 PM »
I had the best counselling session yesterday.  My therapist was  visibly moved by my progress, and told me so.

But today, my daughter called me out on something. She was doing it to purposely make feel bad.  I told her to back off because she'd hit a sore spot and she made me feel worse.

So feeling fed up at the ups and downs.  Seems no point in making progress,  if  all that's gonna happen is that I'm gonna fall back.

My daughter feels just like my mum. She just is able to find my weak spot

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Three Roses

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Re: Two steps forward, three steps back
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2018, 09:03:45 PM »
There's a book called The Dance of Anger, and in it the author says that our friends and family sometimes perceive our growth and progress as a change in our relationship with them. In effect we've changed the steps of the "dance" and they're thrown off by it.

Or, maybe, your daughter is a narcissist or has narcissistic traits.

Here is an excellent, short video (less than 8 minutes) on how we can respond to narcissists: https://youtu.be/6TSh9zTHz2k

Good luck! Stay strong, don't let anyone steal your progress.  :hug: ❤️

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finallyfree

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Re: Two steps forward, three steps back
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2018, 09:04:03 PM »
Dear Snookie,
So sorry you had this happen. It is hard, so hard. Trying to go forward only to feel like your being knocked backwards is not a good feeling at all. I understand and empathize completely. Sending you a few  :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:, that I hope help a little. Hope your feeling better soon.
Finallyfree

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sanmagic7

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Re: Two steps forward, three steps back
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2018, 01:42:24 AM »
i know, it sucks.  sitting with you all the way with this.  love and hugs.

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LilyITV

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Re: Two steps forward, three steps back
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2018, 05:21:40 PM »
 :grouphug:  I think it's normal to feel this way.   Recovery is a long process.  Maybe today you feel like you've taken several steps back, but after next session, you bound forward further than you ever have before. 

I don't know anything about your story, but the fact that your therapist can see your progress means speaks volumes to me.  You are fighting hard and I know you can win.