Just feeling.... well....uggh

[Snookiebookie]

I'm feeling a bit...well...uggh at the moment.

I am having lots of negative thoughts.  I just feel that because I am so, well scared all of the time, I don't tend to connect with work colleagues and acquaintances.  This means they don't try to get to know me.  I don't get invites or offers.  It makes me feel so bad.

I know that this is because they think I am not interested or don't make the effort with them.  But I crave being wanted and loved.

No one is out and out nasty to me.  But no one really wants to spend time with me.  No one seeks me out.   I'm okay but no-one thinks I am great.  This has happened over and over.  I've had lots of relationships were I am okay, but that's it. 

On top of that I have noticed that I am really triggered when things are not perfect.  And it has just hit me that this doesn't have to be down to me. 

In my new job, I am coming across lots of things that are wrong, mistakes or just plain aren't right.  This has made me feel very very tense.  I KNOW none of those are down to me, but I am still just as  triggered by it though!  Which is really tiring.   

And this morning, for no reason at all, I feel really tearful and upset.  I really just want to crawl under my duvet and never come out again.   

[Three Roses]

You are valued and supported here 💖

[Blueberry]

  to you snookiebookie. We care about you on here

[LilyITV]

    Sounds like that mean old inner critic at work.  All these thoughts in your head...are *not* true!   Your rational mind knows they are not true! 

And let me add myself to the chorus of people who care about you on here. 

I identify so much with how you are feeling on your job and the feelings of not connecting and not feeling loved and wanted. 

 

[Snookiebookie]

Thank you all for your replies and all the love you've sent me x

[saylor]

I feel like this a lot of the time. I'm not someone whom other people really embrace, or so it seems. I feel very alienated from the world, which can be scary. However, perhaps unlike you (?), I sort of bring it on myself, as I don't put myself out there... I don't send out welcoming signals because I at once crave companionship and fear people. I'm so easily triggered that I hide away from others most of the time. It seems impossible to reconcile these opposite forces that reside within

[saturnine]

Ugh I can relate so much to what's been said here.  Getting along with people on the job is tough because I have a very hard time allowing myself to be open to getting to know new people -- despite the deep craving to have friends. Like, there's one person at work who I have enough in common with, but I keep finding reasons why she and I wouldn't click as good friends. I never really invite other people out places because I just assume people don't want to know me. Which from my past history has been true! People rarely invite me out either.

Not much else I can offer other than commiseration. I often feel tense and upset at work because of not feeling like I belong. You're not alone.

[Ellis]

Hey Snookie,

I really sympathise with your words here. It's like you summed up my highschool life so perfectly. I wish you all the best and lots of strength your way. And remember you ARE wanted, if not by them then at least by others or us.

Regards,
Ellis.