I wish I had a pony to give you (possibly triggering)

[Elizabeth Jack]

Dear little me, with blonde hair, and blue eyes.  I wish I could give you the pony you wanted.  I wish you could ride a little fat palomino through fields of yellow flowers.  Feeling free, and safe, and lovely.  That's all you wanted, little me.  You wanted to be free, and safe, and in a world of pretty things, with your pony friend.  But your pony friend never was to be.  There was our horse, that our father took from us, made us wish we never wanted her... he threatened to kill our horsey.  OUR horsey, little me.  The horse we dreamed about.  He took her away.  He made us take care of her under a cloud of terror, and got mad that we didn't love her... How could we love our horsey when our father used her against us? How can you love the knife that stabs you? How can your heart be full of love for something that only brings fear? You can't, and it's not our fault. 
I'm sorry, little me, about our horse.  She could have been our source of solace in that *.  She could have been our mighty steed in the battle that we fought every day... But our father ruined that... Just like everything else lovely, and pretty, and ours.
I'm sorry that I don't have a pony to give you.  I don't even have a kitten to give you.  Animals were your only friend, little me. 

One day, little me, we will ride again.