Made a decision - feels good :)

Boatsetsailrose · January 11, 2017, 07:23:42 AM

So after mths of struggle, have finally made the decision to leave my job

God it feels good

I have been battling for what feels so long to come to this decision ...
I tried I gave I surrendered
When the stress and expectation added on top of low self worth finally implodes yes it's time to move on

Complex ptsd is enough stress by itself would you agree ...

Dee · January 11, 2017, 12:53:58 PM

Good for you! It sounds to me like you made a decision to take care of yourself. Congratulations!

Boatsetsailrose · January 11, 2017, 12:56:58 PM

Thank you dee yes enough is enough

bring em all in · January 11, 2017, 10:11:52 PM

Boatsetsail: I spent 29 years in a job, most of which found me panicky from 1 am on, throwing up every morning, and a total wreck through the day. It wasn't until I missed large chunks of work between September 2015 and February 2016 that my job sent me to an Independent Medical Examiner for evaluation. He declared me unfit to return to work. I was angry and indignant at the time. Since then I have come to see the wisdom in his decision.

sanmagic7 · January 12, 2017, 01:04:45 AM

hey, bssr, good for you! i've often put off decisions, like you mentioned, battling, hanging on, thinking it's gonna change, etc. etc., but when i finally made the decision i felt exactly like you said. what a relief. i'm so glad for you to get out from under all that crapola. yay!!! congrats.

movementforthebetter · January 12, 2017, 02:18:03 AM

Congrats on coming to such a difficult decision. I wish you all the best. We always say health comes before work, but it takes a lot of courage and conviction to actually live by those words!

woodsgnome · January 12, 2017, 06:37:46 AM

May you find new horizons full of beauty and grace.

Boatsetsailrose · January 17, 2017, 07:07:21 PM

Thank u all
And sanmagic I just love the word 'crapola '

I have now back tracked and decided I couldn't leave and do agency work either ,,, I just can't nurse full stop at the mo..
I finally let go of my fear and went to the doctor and asked to see if I can get diagnosed cptsd - she has put in a referral to the psychiatrist
Also I have got the union involved as my sickness rate is looking gloomy
So just for now I am signed off sick and watching how it all plays out
Good to not have the burden of work at the moment

Boatsetsailrose · January 17, 2017, 07:07:56 PM

Do people mind me asking
How the do for money if not working ?

sanmagic7 · January 18, 2017, 01:09:50 AM

good luck with getting the correct diagnosis. i hope that helps and you'll get some kind of compensation. hanging with you!

Eyessoblue · January 18, 2017, 05:42:01 PM

Well done! definitely think you made the right decision. I've been out of work since last May and it was the right decision, I knew I needed and still do need to concentrate on 'me' and feeling better, as you know with the NHS it's a long process but I'm optimistic I will get there in the end as I'm sure you will too.

Bee123 · May 16, 2017, 10:00:54 PM

Congratulations on making the decision! I envy you.
I am sure it wasn't easy.
I am currently in that stage... contemplating on quitting my job.

Boatsetsailrose · May 18, 2017, 10:46:15 AM

Thank you San magic, I have a diagnosis of cptsd from a psychiatrist it felt so good to get that and hear him put that in the report.

Boatsetsailrose · May 18, 2017, 10:57:36 AM

Hi eyes so blue
Not working is a real gift to self and giving myself the time of rest, space and not having the demands of work.
It's good to hear someone else as been off for a few mths too, I mean in light of the whole situation it's not long hey !
For me it's been 4 mths and this week I've had some guilt and 'am I just faking it ' thoughts .. but after speaking with others I know I am not, it's just I'm not in that dark dark place I was in, in February. Then I remember that was only 12 wks ago !
I am awaiting trauma therapy from a charity and they said it will be June/ July to start. There is no long term support in the NHS here so I am very grateful to have found this charity.
I am getting paid by the NHS to be off sick and the end of this month it goes down to half pay with statutory pay on top so I should be able to live on it just. I can then get this for 5 mths. So I may take that time off but will see how things progress over the summer. I see it that I got very burnt out in the NHS, there is no long term support to access for cptsd so being paid for being off work is my way to get what I need for my recovery. I'm very grateful to get it.
How are things going for you eyes so blue ?

Boatsetsailrose · May 18, 2017, 11:02:18 AM

Hi bee 123
I'd reached a point where I just couldn't carry on and am v grateful that I get sick pay.. so I haven't left as such, yet, but I have made the decision I won't go back to that particular job. Getting long term sick pay gives me a grace period of looking at my options. I can appreciate that not everyone is in this fortunate position.

Are you looking at getting another job or can you have some time off ?
Has the work impacted your mental Health further ?