Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)

  • 14 Replies
  • 663 Views
*

abcdefghijohnnyz

  • Member
  • 28
  • This is not for you.
    • View Profile
Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« on: January 21, 2017, 07:37:12 PM »
Hi,

I want to keep this non-explicit for now and not get into the gnarly details of my story, but...

Is there anyone else here who is a kidnapping survivor? I have only ever talked to one other person who went through this.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

*

Kizzie

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • 5222
    • View Profile
    • Out of the Storm
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2017, 10:47:17 AM »
You may have to wait for a bit for someone who has gone through what you have so I'd encourage you to keep checking back.
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion - Dalai Lama

*

Contessa

  • Member
  • 656
    • View Profile
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2017, 12:33:03 AM »
Hi abcdefghijohnnyz,

I did not want to read this and leave you with silence. I have not been kidnapped and do not know anyone who has, to my knowledge.

However if it does take a while longer than expected to receive a response, and you need to get something off your chest, we are here :)

*

abcdefghijohnnyz

  • Member
  • 28
  • This is not for you.
    • View Profile
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2017, 03:27:35 PM »
Yeah, thanks for helping to keep the thread alive. Given that I know numerous survivors and people with PTSD and C-PTSD in real life, and yet only know one kidnapping survivor, I am not surprised. Wait, hang on, I know two. Still pretty low number.

I will also say though that "kidnapping" was a term I did not initially use for what happened to me, since it didn't follow certain "scripts" we have in our minds from things like TV and media about what "kidnapping" looks like. For example, I was initially lured by lies and manipulation into an inescapable situation, rather than being "grabbed off the street" or something. Other people, like friends and therapists, were the first to use the term when I described what I went through.

So for purposes of this thread I would like to encourage anyone who has been somehow brought into a state of imprisonment, whether by force, manipulation or other means, to feel free to respond, whether or not you are comfy with the term "kidnapping" for your experience.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

*

Kizzie

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • 5222
    • View Profile
    • Out of the Storm
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2017, 09:17:15 AM »
Actually Johnny, I just watched a series by Leah Remini on Scientology and it comes close to what you are describing in the sense that they lure people in, then make it extremely difficult to leave.  In the interviews with ex-members there was a common thread that they felt trapped because they knew the church would require family members still in the church to cut ties completely, and then would send members to harass them if/when they spoke out.  That fits the bill in terms of the development of CPTSD; that is, ongoing interpersonal trauma from which there is no real or perceived avenue of escape. 

I also have seen a number of documentaries and news pieces about other situations that would qualify as kidnapping I suspect.  For example, vulnerable youth being lured into sex trade work who then become dependent and afraid to leave under the threat of violence; child workers who are sold to or taken as cheap labour; sadly, the list goes on when I think about it.   

Does that more fit with what you mean when you use the term kidnapping?
« Last Edit: January 25, 2017, 09:25:51 AM by Kizzie »
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion - Dalai Lama

*

abcdefghijohnnyz

  • Member
  • 28
  • This is not for you.
    • View Profile
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2017, 12:22:31 PM »
It could. Kidnapping can encompass situations of being taken by force and also of being lured into imprisonment under false pretenses.

At the end of the day, I'm less interested in whether the term "kidnapping" itself is entirely appropriate for any given situation, and more on whether this simple criteria is met:

A person was taken by deceit or force to a location they could not escape.

I'm also interested in hearing from anyone with experience with Stockholm Syndrome.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2017, 01:19:44 PM »
I have been kidnapped/possibly sold in the sense of being told I should go with someone for what sounded like a reasonable outing to help another person & it ended up being a completely different situation I couldn't get out of for several days.

I also have developed what you might consider to be Stockholm syndrome with an abusive partner.

*

abcdefghijohnnyz

  • Member
  • 28
  • This is not for you.
    • View Profile
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2017, 02:50:01 PM »
Yeah that's pretty much kidnapping.

(trigger warnings)

I think most kidnappers, like most rapists, actually use false pretenses first, before physical force.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

*

Fen Starshimmer

  • Member
  • 165
  • On Mission
    • View Profile
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2017, 02:03:44 PM »
Quote
Kidnapping can encompass situations of being taken by force and also of being lured into imprisonment under false pretenses.

You've got me thinking. It must have been kidnapping and false imprisonment. I was held in hotel rooms. It lasted about a year before I escaped... No one knew. People who saw me with him assumed his was my bf (Yuk..!  ???). I had to act like his gf in public to avoid a range of punishments, to save my life and protect my family. I won't go into any more detail here as it could be highly triggering. Needless to say, the guy was a psychotic rapist. I escaped eventually, but no one even knew I had escaped, because they didn't know I was captive. 

Have also had the experience of cult 'kidnapping' as well. No one knew about that either....

I'm very wary of people now, as you can imagine. Hope to hear a bit more about your experience Johnny, when you feel ready.

Healing is the outcome of reversing longstanding patterns of self-alienation and building the capacity to love and accept our 'selves'.

Janina Fisher, Chapter 1
Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors

*

Candid

  • Member
  • 1019
  • The world will always treat me as I treat myself
    • View Profile
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #9 on: February 27, 2017, 04:54:44 AM »
At the end of the day, I'm less interested in whether the term "kidnapping" itself is entirely appropriate for any given situation, and more on whether this simple criteria is met:

A person was taken by deceit or force to a location they could not escape.

I have been taken by deceit three times, and each time I could not escape once I had agreed to go, but in all three cases it was a matter of hours, not days or weeks. I think the definition of kidnapping could involve more time? That's why I haven't replied to this thread earlier.

One of the men beat me up and raped me. I knew while I was stuck with him that when I got 'home' (my parents' home) there would be no comfort for me and I've never felt so alone; I decided not to tell them. In fact I didn't report any of the incidents, and I didn't tell my mother I'd been raped until I was sent home from work because of a full-on PTSD flashback. Her reaction was predictable: I had deserved it.

I think of these incidents as abduction, and in the one case, abduction and rape.
Love, and do what you will. ~ St Augustine, 354-443

*

abcdefghijohnnyz

  • Member
  • 28
  • This is not for you.
    • View Profile
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2017, 05:04:28 PM »
Abduction is a really good word! It's weird what words stick for us in regard to our traumas, and which don't... weird and highly personal.

I had a friend who experienced something she considered "kidnapping" which was a pretty brief experience-- just an hour or so before she escaped-- but I still think the word applies.

I guess I see "kidnapping" or "abduction" as "being taken by force or deception or manipulation to a place that is hard or impossible to escape." Usually that place is somewhere outside of your normal life, but it doesn't have to be.

Instances of being imprisoned in one's own home by an abusive partner, roommate or family member are sort of different from abduction I guess, but I am still interested in hearing about them and can relate on some level.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

*

abcdefghijohnnyz

  • Member
  • 28
  • This is not for you.
    • View Profile
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #11 on: February 28, 2017, 05:05:40 PM »
@Fen Starshimmer your experience sounds similar to mine, in some ways, although mine wasn't as prolonged.

I posted my whole story pretty much here http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=5535.0
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

*

jennyjenny

  • Member
  • 31
    • View Profile
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2017, 05:46:58 PM »
I have an old friend who experienced something similar to what you describe, she mentioned that she bonded with her abuser as well.

I was kidnapped by my father, and my experiences were very different than your situation. However, I was kidnapped, it does happen.

« Last Edit: June 05, 2017, 12:34:30 PM by jennyjenny »

*

freida

  • Member
  • 2
    • View Profile
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2017, 11:05:33 AM »
If you are still wondering...   yes   and I've never met anyone else either..

*

lexx

  • Member
  • 23
  • Hi everyone!
    • View Profile
Re: Kidnapping (Possible trigger warning?)
« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2017, 04:08:19 PM »
Hey..

I'm going to come back to your message later if you don't mind, but no, you're not alone. It takes many forms. More subtle does not mean less damaging..
I'm not in the right state of mind to go into this more right this second and I'm probably going to try and take my dog for a walk (leaving the door when I'm anxious isn't easy for me but it does tend to help if I burn off some energy)..  but I felt you should know you're not alone..
More later, and thanks for speaking up..
Lexx