Lacking Common Knowledge

[AphoticAtramentous]

I don't know where to put this thread so I'm just slapping it here, hope that's okay. lol

Anyway, I just wanted to hear from some fellow people... have you ever felt like you 'lack' knowledge/education/intelligence, etc?
I've struggled with this for a while, just feeling so left out of conversations sometimes because what people are talking about are so... out-there to me. It could be politics, taxes, finance, anything that's really just a necessity to know but are simply things I don't know. If I wasn't taught it in school or through the internet, I don't know it. I suppose parents are supposed to be the ones who teach you about all that crap, but my parents taught me how to use a spoon, tie my shoes, and that's about it. I've had to be extremely independent, figuring things out on my own all the time. And it just feels like I'm missing so much. Heavens forbid I go and ask my parents to help me or ask them for some sort of guidance. I either get a 30 minute lecture or they don't care enough to tell me anything.
I'm supposed to be doing some 'tax return' thing but I have no idea what that is, what it's for, or what I'm supposed to do.
My ex-classmates are all talking about how they're paying bills, moving houses, just... seeming to manage their lives without any hesitation. It's not that I'm afraid to pay the bills or move houses, I just really don't know how to do all that and it's extremely frustrating. I hate having to rely on my friends so much to tell me how to do things. Some people I know would even glare at me and laugh as they say; "You don't know what this is?".
It really doesn't help with my self-esteem. I seem to be the 'idiot' that my parents say I am.
I feel really left behind... and I wish I wasn't. It feels like I have the maturity of a 25 year old but the intelligence and knowledge of a 12 year old. :\

So yeah, can anyone relate? Or DID you relate?
Cheers.

[Three Roses]

For me, the area I'm lacking is physical. Sometimes people look at me as if to say, "Are you that clumsy?" instead of questioning my intelligence. I even had one charming gentleman ask me if I was challenged! Sometimes it even feels as though different parts of me are governed by different brains.

I'm interested to see the other responses that you'll get....

[Quiet]

I had a lot of that when I was your age.

I never had an allowance, I wasn't allowed to go out, and this was before the internet was really very usable.  I wasn't allowed to pick what to watch on television.  If someone asked me if I liked a band, I may have liked their music on the radio, but I didn't know the name of the band.  I didn't know the name of actors, just the characters they played.  I was teased mercilessly for my ignorance, even though I could recite Shakespeare and list all the Sherlock Holmes stories, in chronological order.  But what high schooler cares about that?

We didn't have lifehacks and downloadable checklists.  I relied very heavily on friends, after extracting a promise not to make fun of me.  When it came to work stuff (like tax returns) I asked one of my nicer co-workers to let me know when she was filling out forms for anything.  This way, I learned when open enrollment for health insurance was, and when to start working on tax returns.  I learned my rule to live by - if you get something in the mail, and it has your SSN on it, keep it.

I still have a remarkably simple outlook on most things in life.  I get overwhelmed easily.

For me, the area I'm lacking is physical. Sometimes people look at me as if to say, "Are you that clumsy?" instead of questioning my intelligence. I even had one charming gentleman ask me if I was challenged! Sometimes it even feels as though different parts of me are governed by different brains.

I'm interested to see the other responses that you'll get....

To Three Roses, I am amazingly clumsy.  I drop a lot of things (major EF  ).  I recently learned that I am hypermobile.  Being clumsy goes with the territory.

[Lilfae]

I struggle mostly with social things.  I am often misunderstood or I simply dont know what to do, or even that I am allowed/that it is possible to say "No".  I dont know how to do small talk and sometimes (quite often) I forget how to interact with non-healthcare professionals.

Ive never done my taxes, somehow they are done automatically here. You are supposed to check them, but ive no idea for what.  So, I dont.

After starting DBT Ive been enlighten to how many things I do wrong/differentlt than people without trauma never even think about. I struggle to think of an example right now.

[AphoticAtramentous]

For me, the area I'm lacking is physical. Sometimes people look at me as if to say, "Are you that clumsy?" instead of questioning my intelligence. I even had one charming gentleman ask me if I was challenged! Sometimes it even feels as though different parts of me are governed by different brains.

I'm interested to see the other responses that you'll get....

Aww, sorry to hear that. Must be difficult. ^^"

If someone asked me if I liked a band, I may have liked their music on the radio, but I didn't know the name of the band.  I didn't know the name of actors, just the characters they played.

My goodness, yes. I only know like, 5 celebrities' names all up. lol It really feels like I've been living under a rock for all my life.

I struggle mostly with social things.  I am often misunderstood or I simply dont know what to do, or even that I am allowed/that it is possible to say "No".  I dont know how to do small talk and sometimes (quite often) I forget how to interact with non-healthcare professionals.

Ive never done my taxes, somehow they are done automatically here. You are supposed to check them, but ive no idea for what.  So, I dont.

After starting DBT Ive been enlighten to how many things I do wrong/differentlt than people without trauma never even think about. I struggle to think of an example right now.

Fortunately for me, working a few years in retail I've learnt how to do basic small talk but I still have my moments where I have no freaking clue what to say or do.
It's good that DBT stuff is helping you out though. Very nice to hear.

Thanks for the responses, guys.

[Piou]

Yes, I can definitely relate, especially to what you said Lilfae about social situations. I'm a also very ignorant in that aspect.

[ah]

I can definitely relate. When I was a kid I was kept apart from other kids and from ordinary life. I wasn't allowed to do things others did, or make my own decisions or do anything of my own accord, or just have friends for that matter. I had to go behind my FOO's backs and hide all my friends for fear of retaliation. So I ended up with enormous holes in my education. Things other people took for granted were just a huge unknown to me. Bands' names, brands' names, you name it.

Some things I never learned, the things I absolutely needed I learned as an adult. But yeah, I got those condescending surprised "What, you don't know that?" responses. They did wonders to my sense of inner worthlessness...

In a way I think people who grew up in dysfunctional environments end up older than their chronological age but also younger. Things get totally mixed up. You ask philosophical existential questions way too early in life, whereas you may have no clue what's fashionable or how to do silly things as you're contemplating all those big questions.

Three Roses and Quiet,
I'm hypermobile too. Extremely clumsy is definitely part of it for me too. I keep getting attacked by furniture, walls, door knobs... I'm innocent 

[M.R.]

I get told all the time by my father and grandparents, "Well who didn't know that?" And I reply most of the time with, "Not me". The other times I just don't say anything because, like some have said here, my self worth goes down the drain. I have trouble with my depression in this situation also. I always tend to feel stupid, worthless, and pointless when things happen like this. Like what's the point to try to learn?

For me, the lack in knowledge extends to probably 95-98% of the time. And I know that sounds like I am exaggerating, but its sadly true...I have a terrible time being social, understanding, talking, thinking, following steps (to do things), expressing myself to name a few. My family's given me a whole list...*sigh*. I think one reason why is we moved a lot when I was a kid. 5 times in 5th grade alone.

I react on a daily basis with just everyday situations as if I am still in my abusive life. And my family gets irritated because they look at me, and the fact I'm not being abused anymore, and they don't understand why I'm not latching onto the opportunity with hunger and determination for something better. Why I'm still stuck and I haven't just gotten over it already. Why I'm not learning and changing.

So yes, I lack quite a bit of what others would say is common knowledge.

Melodie