No dissociation?

Started by Snookiebookie, October 24, 2017, 07:08:55 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Snookiebookie

Hi

I'm not yet formally diagnosed, but I meet all the criteria. Well, except one.  I don't think I have dissociation.

I've had moments where everything seems unreal. It feels like the whole universe is just a thought in my own head.  However I only get this sensation a few times a year.

I do daydream a lot though. And my thoughts get carried away on all sorts of weird tracks.  And I'm very distant from people, and at times very withdrawn. And I constantly and endlessly ruminate.  Not sure if that's the same thing though.

Does the"absence" of this symptom mean I don't have C-PTSD?

I'm in the UK, how on earth do I go about getting a diagnosis. I've been in the mental health system for over 20 years.  I've been told that the NHS focus on treatment, and there's nothing more they can offer me.  For me a diagnosis would help.

Sceal

Hi there!

To get a diagnosis you don't have to hit ALL the criterias. It varies from diagnosis to diagnosis how many criterias on the list you'll have to hit.
There was no talk about dissociation when I first got diagnosed with CPTSD. At least there was no mention of it to me. It's not my current Psychologist who diagnosed me, but I suspect she's known/or suspected for a while that I dissociate before she brought it up with me. I had no clue.

I still struggle to get a hold of what dissociating actually means. From what I read everyone (even normal healthy people) dissociate from time to time, it's more when it becomes a problem in everyday life it's looked upon as a symptom of an illness. As part of my therapy I'm supposed to pay more attention to when I'm present and when I'm not. It's challening, but interessting. To me, it differs. Sometimes I have no recollection at all. Time just passed as if I didn't exist. Or I somehow managed to get from place A to B without knowing how. And sometimes it feels as if half of my brain is turned off, or something weird. It's like i'm not here or there. I can see the people around me, I can hear them talk. But I can't hear what they are saying, and I can't see who each of them are.  It's exhausting.

As far as going about getting a diagnosis, you say you're in treatment right now: Do you have a psychiatrist or a psychologist? If so, tell them what you said here. For you getting a clearer picture of what's wrong and which diagnosis you got would help you. And tell them you suspect PTSD, and ask to be examined for that. You do have rights as a patient to know what's going on with you.

AphoticAtramentous

I don't think the absence of one symptom completely rules out the possibility of having CPTSD. Everyone is a little different, some people experience more symptoms than others.
But Dissociation can come in many forms I think - either severely to the point where you can't get a grasp of where you are or what is real, or more minor where you feel a little dazed and struggle to take in information. Though I'm not an expert. Wish I could give you more answers but I can't think of much at the moment.

Oh and Sceal beat me to it. ;) Sneaky. By 5 minutes apparently. Did it really take me 5 minutes to write this? Haha Wow

Rainagain

#3
Have a look at (link removed by moderator, see below)

Looks to be a good website and dissociation doesn't appear to be a requirement for diagnosis.

I have 'proper' diagnosis that I have either PTSD or cptsd and I don't think I have dissociation.

When stressed I sometimes go rigid and can't speak as I get locked in my head, although that might be dissociation I forgot to mention it to either of the psychiatrists who diagnosed me with PTSD so I don't think it is essential.......

Three Roses

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/about/index.shtml

First link took me to ads only. NIMH is an excellent organization. Thanks for sharing it!
:heythere:

Blueberry

Quote from: Snookiebookie on October 24, 2017, 07:08:55 AM
I don't think I have dissociation.

I've had moments where everything seems unreal. It feels like the whole universe is just a thought in my own head.  However I only get this sensation a few times a year.

"everything seems unreal" sounds like dissociation or derealisation or depersonalisation to me. I'm sure that you can be somewhere along the continuum without needing to be an all-out case. It doesn't have to be all the time either. A few times a year can be quite bad enough.

helliepig

Dissociation is sneaky. I didn't know I was and yet I'm very dissociative. I guess what I'm saying is it isn't easy to know or spot.
On the other hand not all trauma causes dissociation.

If you think what dissociation is, it's a split off part of you holding feelings or memories or parts or you. "They" watch what are going on and are still reacting but separate to you so they can be buzzing quietly a lot of the time just below the surface and it can be part of your normal feeling for you. Say for instance if there's an angry raging part that you are unaware of, it can be raging quietly inside a lot but you just don't see it or feel it. Just the ripples of it but so so faintly.
One day therapy starts to make it safer to bring it out and the volume turns up.
Sometimes it's like vague white noise somewhere deep in my head or a slight buzzing in my chest or a slight feeling of apprehension that later down the line I realised meant I was an echo of dissociated feelings. Sometimes it's just a fullness in my head or suddenly finding myself slowed and heavy.  A lot of the time it's just my normal. It's only something I've understood on hindsight and even now I find it hard to spot when i'm dissociating. I can see the different parts of me most of the time now (co-consciousness) but stuff still comes up to surprise me.

I remember my therapist saying he thought I was dissociative and I was like, what? Eh? It sounded so silly.  I read lots of stuff and to start with just couldn't see it in myself. Then he asked me to do a timeline of my life and I literally could not remember whole chunks of it. It shook me really deeply. It has still taken me years to get my head round it and what it means generally, and specifically to me. It's very clever and very sophisticated and a damn good defence network for survival but it does get in the way of a normal life.



Blueberry

Quote from: helliepig on October 25, 2017, 01:48:47 PM
Then he asked me to do a timeline of my life and I literally could not remember whole chunks of it.

Snookiebookie,
I really like all of helliepig's description of dissociation, but I also want to point out to you that you can dissociate without losing / forgetting whole chunks of your life.  Going numb, not feeling any feelings, 'splitting' into a part of you where you only feel or only think, even just feeling really spaced out - that's all somewhere along the continuum. Only once that I know of have I lost chunks of my life, after I was very badly triggered and re-traumatised. Long before that therapists and docs told me that I was on the dissociative continuum.
Hope this helps.