Letter to Society (Not to send) (Long and angry)

[Sceal]

Dear Society,

I have so much I want to say to you, yet it feels futile.
It feels futile because you wont actually listen. You'll glaze over the moment I start to talk, because I am a woman. And more than that I have several diagnosises. You'll pat me on the head when I'm done as if I were a child you were only entertaining for 5 minutes and then you'd go on, and do your poor behaviour once more.

I've followed the #metoo campaign in my own home country, and what started to be a campaign for victims to speak out against SA, it has turned into harrassment. Sexual harrassment is a problem, it's the surface of the ice-berg of the problems in society. It shows what kind of attitude a person has, what kind of judgement they throw around themselves in different given situations.  There is a problem when men, in-particular older men, say at a big business dinner to another man as a woman is leaving "Are you letting the women leave? Who are then going to pleasure us?" and when a woman calls out saying that's not okay the community (including other women) say collectivily "It wasn't meant like that. Have some humour".  It is a problem. It take destroys boundaries.  And as important as harrassment is, it has now taken the light away from the victims of actual sexual abuse. It's avverted the problem away from what we don't like to talk about, to something less "dirty". To something that we can say "Have a laugh, don't be so stiff about it all.".

And, if this all happened to you, Society. To your daughter, sister, son, brother, lover... Would you then laugh?

No, then you can be outraged. Then you demand to be listened to. But here's the kicker, because you didn't listen to us... We wont listen to you. You'll become mute, alone and shunned the way you first did it.

I haven't engaged in this campaign, because I don't have a voice. I'm a long-term psychiatric patient. I'm a white, middle class woman from a very gender equal country. I haven't engaged because I don't want this to define me for the rest of my life. My story is my own to tell, it's the only part that I got left that I can control. You will all have your opinions anyway, judge me. Break me down, make sure I wont be able to climb up the whole in where I'm at. Still, I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I don't join my voice alongside the thousands of women and men who's suffered at the hands of you, and still do. I feel guilty that I don't do more to prevent this from happening to others. I feel guilty that I can't educate people of all ages, young as well as middle and old age, that their actions, thoughts and judgement has consequences that are heartbreaking and lifedevestating. You laugh at all of us who are on wellfare. You call us scumbags, liars, lazy son's and daughter's of *"#¤. Yet you forget to take your own responsibility in partaking of this all. You forget it was you who put us here, you who took our future away from us. It was you who are still denying us the growth and safety we need so we can actually participate and have a meaningful life.

!¤%!" you, Society.

[Three Roses]

Great insights, sceal! You're inspiring. 

[Sceal]

Thank you, Three Roses 

[Blueberry]

Great points and insights, Sceal. I haven't been following the #metoo campaign so didn't realise it's turned into harrassment instead.

[Sceal]

Great points and insights, Sceal. I haven't been following the #metoo campaign so didn't realise it's turned into harrassment instead.

I can't avoid it, it's all over the only two national newspapers I read. Everyday there's something new, even if I don't read all the articles I get the title and the short intro line. It's an important social conversation, but perhaps best to only follow if one is ready for it.

[DecimalRocket]

Hi Sceal, I know it's been a few days since your last post here, but I wanted to join in.

It's some inspiring stuff to want justice for those wronged. Many people around the world and often on the internet think of getting offended as being too sensitive, when it is actually justifiable sometimes. There's a difference on getting offended on something small and getting offended for something as large as sexual harassment and to have an instinct to care here is really something.