Trouble taking about interests?

[goblinchild]

It's like I don't know how? 
I feel like, for so long, interests and things that make me happy where things that only existed in my head. Like the actual interests were real but the experience wasn't something I shared with people. It wasn't something other people saw. It was something that only existed in the form of my own feelings. It never needed to BE words that were understandable and relatable to other people.
I also feel like, when I try to talk about things I end up being hard to understand? And very wordy. I don't think I even know how to be concise about my own feelings. I wish I could go back to preschool and rebuild from "Green is my favorite color"

I think I'm worried often that I'm not communicating my feelings well enough. I know I've been stuck in isolation with a lot of people who just had no empathy for me or anyone else and, not understanding that, I internalized that I must not be articulating myself well enough. As if they might suddenly have a sense of empathy if I could just emote a little more or just put it in a way they could understand. If I could just explain the negative feelings I was feeling, maybe they'd actually be sorry.
But now I really don't know....how understandable and relateable the things I say are? If I just awkwardly start trying to express that I like things, will people understand or care?

[Rainagain]

Hi Goblinchild,

I find it hard to be exact and precise with my speech too. I over explain and go into too much detail.

Its like a speaking form of hyper vigilance.

I also know that some people understand exactly what I am saying, they just don't care. Doesn't matter how I explain things, not going to work.

[sanmagic7]

it doesn't matter how you explain yourself to someone without empathy - it's like you're speaking a foreign language and they are not able to understand.  i know this from experience because i was someone without empathy.  people would talk about not doing something out of fear and, since i was basically fearless, i couldn't understand it at all.  it really just did not compute.

this is a place where you are understood, where you are able to speak your truth and people will understand.  if people don't want to or can't understand, there are not enough words in the dictionary to make them change, to make them see your pain, or to make them feel something kind and giving. 

i think it's horrible to realize that, something else i've learned from experience.  it was quite an adjustment to change my own way of wanting them to hear me to accepting that they just won't, for whatever reason.  one foot in front of the other is the best we can do, even when it means changing direction.