Some of my CPTSD themed poetry

[Will19]

This a few which are directly related to CPTSD

Internal Monologue

Hate, lies and false truths,
Spew forth, from your in-congruent voice
within my inconsolable mind.

Like a fascist propagandist,
excited production of imagery proceeds
the subliminal shroud of death,
you leave me bereft, for a moment, ego dead.

You have no dialogue, despite
occupying this mind with another,
you only create self-spite,
your diplomacy is absent, while an other
yearns for engagement, I
would be willing to love,
but you only wish me to die.


Writing a CV

Reduced to a product,
well packaged and sold,
look at me being so bold,
despite the half truths scrawled.

Answering for the employer,
creating questions for the employee.
Who am I? Why can't I be,
we both don't see, who I should be.
To whom this may concern,
I regret to inform you, you're a liar.

You don't know who you are,
your sense of dread
at the closing doors
before you're dead.

The best advice;
to tailor your life,
A laser focus, such unfocus
for craving being everyone, a vice
of not knowing oneself.

Such a product,
an applicant of disregarded self, shelved,
to hide a broken product.
Application denied.

Small Spaces

from such vastness, empty fields
comes a yearning for closeness offering no yield,
where the essence of familiarity
brings on a dream-like quality.

The silent trees, withered by winter,
now my custodians, as if drawn ill by duty.
The guilty criminal, wishing for tinder,
so to undermine my own futility in my custody

as a child again, in this room, this cold dark room.
Lacking in my previous sovereignty
I become child-like, small and tiny to face doom.
Trapped. I am trapped, lost in a false eternity.

This past future I have lost,
of growth and new-life,
new growths killed by frost,
I am filled with strife.

Hey, thanks for reading, this is technically my first post. These are from my blog, which poetry focuses on my mental health troubles, I use poetry because it's a way of expressing the emotions I would otherwise find impossible to express.

[Three Roses]

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