Piper Narcissistic Abuse Score

Started by keepfighting, January 26, 2015, 11:09:51 AM

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Poodle


woodsgnome

#16
The m has been gone from the world for almost 50 years yet my score hit 90, all sizzling red in the recap.

:'(    :sadno:     :'(   

Stunned a bit; so much for "time will heal". The good is it's all only memory; the bad is the memories are still so overwhelming, and the results on my current life still so hopelessly obvious :pissed:.  I guess it just shows how long after this can drag one's spirit down.

zaracat

82/105 and my mother has been dead for 15 years. It doesn't help that the most recent trauma was bullying by someone who was much, much worse as far as narcissism goes and who was assisted and protected by his mother in the harassment. The saving grace is my siblings, whom I have always been close to.

I've just started talking about my mother in therapy in the last couple of months and realising how far back some of the problems go. Obviously there's a lot of work to do.

arpy1

just did this again, and it was ninety this time. so much the same as last year. not surprised. the last six months have been pretty dead inside.  it occurred to me today (surprise surprise) that the only person who can actually help me is me, so if i want things to change i better get on with it.  a long way to come back from in terms of re-recovery, i fear, but i think i may be ready now.

Dutch Uncle

Quote from: arpy1 on May 07, 2016, 10:14:09 AM
it occurred to me today (surprise surprise) that the only person who can actually help me is me

You Go Girl!  :cheer:

LindyLoo

I love the cheerleading on this site. My mom is kind of covert, so I only got 74 despite living with her, though i wonder if some of it is denial on my part. Wish I had a better sense of the support network. That might be better than I really think it is. It's hard for me to tell if 'm really giving as much as I "should" because of all the guilt put on my by my mom. I tend to think I feel closer to people than they do to me, but I don't know if it's accurate or not. Different ways I've been hurt have led me to that opinion over the years. I also have very high self-disclosure because of the boundary problem stuff, so there's that factor too. Self-care was yellow, so I have that going for me!

I also found it hard to answer some of these because I was trying to go with what I feel is true versus what I know is true, so there's some difference there. Joining this board really helped with the sense of community.

Self-care 8/15
Abuse Awareness 9/15
Detachment 12/15
Support Network 11/15
Blame vs. Accountability 10/15
Anger Awareness 11/15
Realistic View of Family 13/15 (Wow, that one was surprising for some reason!)

Dutch Uncle

Quote from: LindyLoo on May 17, 2016, 06:15:14 PM
I love the cheerleading on this site.
:cheer:

If we 'who get it' don't cheer for everyone of us, then where would we be?

:waveline:

sanmagic7

honestly, i thought i was doing better.  got a 60, 5 red, 2 yellow.  wow, denial sure is a weird thing!  makes me want to cry, so sad this has happened to me.  i've been working so hard, and i'm still up to my neck in sh*t.  dang!

this thought just came to mind.  have been having communication problems with my hubby lately, and i'm feeling a bit more vulnerable than usual.  i wonder if that can be having an effect on how i scored.  yeah, feeling out of control, like i'm in a battle for my own being once again, something i can hardly remember not doing my entire life.  actually, maybe i have been battling for me since before i can remember.  it sure feels like it.

so, i guess i'll just have to keep on keepin' on.  right now it totally feels like an uphill battle - again!  ugh, i hate this stuff!

movementforthebetter

I'm honestly surprised!

I scored 44 with only one red area, detachment, which was 9 of 15. I scored 1 of 15 in support network, which seems right. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for my friends today I almost cried.

Everything else is yellow in the 5 to 8 range.

I have done group talk therapy, mindfulness meditation, and now CBT+EMDR. I have been VLC or NC over the years for the last 10 years. I guess all that really has helped.

Still more work to do, but feeling relieved like I really can get healthy since I am on my way already.

sanmagic7

congrats!  great progress!

i am an emdr therapist, and i know how helpful that can be for trauma work, and i'm so glad you found that and have been able to use it.  there are none here where i live, but i've been doing some modified form of it on myself for awhile.  i, too, believe that this stuff needs a multi-modal approach.  keep going!  that just sounds so wonderful to me.  you're an inspiration, movementforthebetter.   

ChaosQueen

Thanks for posting this test!
I scored 71 out of 105. It was kind of an eye-opener. Oh well, perhaps my mom was and is really a narcisisst....???
My only two yellow areas were "support network" and "realistic view of family". But I don't want to think of my mom as a narcisisst. That makes me feel too guilty. I don't want to blame her or think negatively of her.
One boss of mine is clearly a narcissist and everytime I have an interaction with her, I have an intense emotional flashback. Well, my mom did have some narcisisstic traits, especially when I lived with her as a kid... But perhaps she also had C-PTSD and acted out her outer critic???
Anyways, I also want to cheer ourselves on and congratulate those who made such great progress!  :cheer:

sweetsixty

Scary, I got 81 and all red and that's after 5 years of therapy and going No contact  2 years ago! I know it was much worse before. Thank goodness for the help around her and elsewhere and for finally recognising her for what she was. It only took me until I was 58!

But thank goodness I'm going in the right direction.  :cheer:

Dee


Wow, I got a 94!  However, I know I have come a long way with boundary issues.  I still feel bad, guilty, but I am starting to set them with just about everyone.  So much so that my sister actually said I don't feel like this is my sister anymore.

I have not started to work on guilt yet.  I honestly don't feel like it is something I will ever be able to overcome, but I'm willing to try.

Wife#2

I didn't even think of my mother as narcissistic at all! Possibly BPD with some histrionic tendencies, but not narcissistic. Took the test and, hmmm  78 / 105 with all red.

Self care 13/15; abuse awareness 10/15; detachment 11/15, Support network 9/15, Blame vs accountability 9/15, Anger awareness 12/15 and (drum roll)  Realistic View of Family 14/15.

Inner critic is having a field day right now. Gotta go shut IC up.

cdnPunkin

I got 108, so I'm still being influenced pretty heavily by my mother. Ironically, though she clearly has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, she's got her doctorate in psychology... and has no idea what a narcissist she is, or what effect she's had on my upbringing. The questions were really validating, as others have said.

What to do with this information.... ?