thinking of M

[Blueberry]

I don't know why, but my M keeps dropping by my thoughts today. There will be a reason. Probably in fact because of something I posted to do with my childhood.

It makes me feel kind of sad and it also makes me feel like reaching out. But I'm not going to do that! That would only be destructive to me atm. She was and still is abusive, even if 'only' verbal/psychological/emotional now.

[Three Roses]

My M has been on my mind, too, as her birthday is coming up soon. 

[sanmagic7]

blueberry, from what you've been sharing about your m's efforts in being a positive presence to others, yet always abusive to you, i'm not surprised she's popping into your head lately.  she's been so invalidating to and for you.  i feel for you, i really do.  i hope that somehow you will find a way to get thru this as quickly as possible.  it's not a pleasant scenario.

3roses, i know about those birthday/anniversary triggers, and they can wreak havoc with our emotions.  sending lots of strength to both of you along with warm, loving hugs.  keep taking care of yourselves as best you can, ok? 

[Blueberry]

Thank you san  F's birthday is coming up very soon and it's a milestone one too. He's not dropping by so much though.

B2's been dropping by as well. That's because of a thread I read over at OOTF in the In-Laws section about a MIL-DIL conflict, where I thought on one of the responses: sounds like SIL2 and sounds very bad, manipulative.

[Dee]

I just want you to know that I have always been inspired by yours, and others ability to go NC.  While I am sure the thought of reaching out is powerful, you still maintain strength. 

[Blueberry]

Thank you Dee for the validation! 

i'm not actually NC, just very very LC


I did write and send 3 different FOO emails today, all of which had been waiting to be done. I got one answer already, from F. It was OK in content. I just have to remember: don't reach out, don't reply immediately. And when I do reply, stick to Medium chill and non-JADEing.

B2 and M are less present in my thoughts and subsconscious today. So, yeah, it really is true: these things pass.