Binge drinking

[Rainydaze]

I've got into the habit of being excessive with my alcohol consumption at the weekends and not knowing when to call it a night. The general habit I've got into is having several units each night from Friday to Saturday and then passing out on the sofa and not going to bed properly. I probably end up drinking the same as my husband but he's bigger than me and can handle it. It's just so hard stopping because the pure relaxation and increased inhibition I get from a few glasses feels really good (until my head is spinning and I feel sick). I'm really introverted and an anxious person and it makes me feel more like a happy, extroverted person. I'm not alcoholic by any stretch but I'm starting to feel like this could become a problem if I don't look after myself better.

I wonder if there's anything I could change in my attitude to drinking? At the moment I think I almost use drink like a drug rather than savouring it for the taste. Maybe I should have a rule that I only drink at the same time as eating and have a glass of water between each glass of alcohol. Anyone else been able to discipline themselves better when it comes to this? 

[ah]

I'm really introverted and an anxious person and it makes me feel more like a happy, extroverted person. I'm not alcoholic by any stretch but I'm starting to feel like this could become a problem if I don't look after myself better.

The rules sound very wise to me. In my experience keeping them may be tricky though... I notice when I'm feeling stronger I keep them but when I'm miserable enough I think "Now doesn't count, I need this, it's medicine. When I'm better the rules will apply again." I was trying to outsmart my own rules  but I hope it gets easier with practice.

And, what you said also got me thinking about being introverted.
I'm very introverted too, it can be rough because society is so extroverted nowadays, we're in the minority so we're expected / we expect ourselves to conform and be more like everyone else. It can be exhausting to keep trying to change myself  my whole life I felt I was "broken" and bad because I was who I was, in a culture that idolizes endless self confidence.
I read an interesting book a few years back about it called "Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking". Very thought provoking.
It's been helping me with the drinking unexpectedly, too.

[sigiriuk]

Dear Blues Cruise
Using drink or drugs is a very effective way of managing flashbacks, hyper vigilance, panic and the inner critic. That's why many of us use them for short-term relief. Lots of people in the AA, NA groups have similar background to ourselves.

In a nutshell, I drink when i am in pain. It's like chemically induced dissociation. On the one hand I am being kind to myself by getting rid of the pain. But I am also being unkind by damaging my body with excess booze.

I now try one drink, one glass of OJ, and so on. I also drink cocktails with a challenging taste, it forces me to sip them.

There is only one rule: "Remember you are in pain and frightened, and look after that little person as best you can"

Yours
Slim

[sanmagic7]

hey, bc,

i hope you can get a handle on this.  i'm a recovering alcoholic, 16 yrs., and i remember putting all those rules out for myself, too.  somehow, tho, when i wanted to change myself thru alcohol, the rules went out the window.  for me, the only way to control it at all was not to take the first drink. 

the same applied to cigarettes.  i had lots of rules i wanted to follow with them as well, but no such luck.  when i wanted one, i knew how it would make me feel, and it was that feeling that i was looking for.  rules, again went out the window.

you're the only one who can assess your drinking issues.  it would be great if your 'controls' would work, and i hope they do.  if they don't, i'm always available by pm if you want to talk about it.  best to you with this.  i know how difficult it can be.   

[Eyessoblue]

Hi there, I just wanted to share with you how I was, very similar to you, I used drink as my escape it started off one a week then once a day and progressed a year later to 2/3 bottles a day, the more you drink the more you wanted and the more you feel like you can escape, I knew it wasn't the answer but also had nothing else to help me, I would drink til I was unconscious and really didn't care if I never woke up.

One evening I drunk 4 bottles of wine and ended up collapsing in a car park, my body was smashed to pieces. It was the biggest wake up call ever and I finally saw sense and realised what I was doing. I come from a family of alcoholics and could see myself going down the same route.

I am now 7 weeks alcohol free and have realised I don't need the alcohol for my escape I talk to my therapist and instead of sitting there shrugging everything off I now let it all out as to how I'm feeling I maybe very angry or I just have a cry and get it out of my system. To me this feels so much more beneficial then drowning it away, it's so easy to find another release and alcohol is such an easy way of doing it and I used to feel amazing after a few drinks, but I now realise it's an escape that is short lived and I feel so much better in myself too.

I just wanted to share with you how quickly the problem of binge drinking can escalate and to warn you of the dangers it can affect you both mentally and physically, every time I fancy a glass of wine I have a Diet Coke instead or a fizzy water and have that as a replacement, I just don't want you to end up getting yourself further involved with  alcohol as it's really hard to get back from, I hope this helps you in some way.

[Three Roses]

Substance abuse is definitely a subject we talk about a lot here. Alcohol (or any substance or behavior that you're leaning on) is a quick and easy way of silencing your feelings as they rise - silencing being the only way we have known to deal with those Feelings. But addiction brings its own set of problems and trouble and in the end only complicates our recovery.

I've found that, although painful, turning and facing those Feelings is a better way for me to deal with them.

[Dee]

I just wanted to send you a 

This is something I struggle with.  While I seem to have it under control I often drink for the wrong reasons.  I also feel if I am not careful it is something that could get very bad, very quick.  Yet, I am unwilling to not drink at all.

[Rainydaze]

Thank you all very much for your kind support and understanding.  to everyone.

I've been doing quite well lately. What's really helping is that I'm currently on a healthy eating drive with the aim to lose a few pounds and I'm trying hard to keep to a daily calorie allowance, so binging on alcohol while doing that would just use up all my calories and I would have few food calories left. Food is my no. 1 joy and comfort so takes priority. Buying the 0% alcohol lager is helping too as if my husband has a regular lager during the week I can have a 0% one with him and not feel left out, plus the calories are far lower.  I think the thrill I'm getting from losing a bit of weight is overriding the short-lived euphoria of the alcohol binges at the moment.

I'm really introverted and an anxious person and it makes me feel more like a happy, extroverted person. I'm not alcoholic by any stretch but I'm starting to feel like this could become a problem if I don't look after myself better.

The rules sound very wise to me. In my experience keeping them may be tricky though... I notice when I'm feeling stronger I keep them but when I'm miserable enough I think "Now doesn't count, I need this, it's medicine. When I'm better the rules will apply again." I was trying to outsmart my own rules  but I hope it gets easier with practice.

Yep, sounds very familiar! When I slip up it's usually because I'm feeling really overwhelmed, or my husband might be drinking and it's just too tempting to say yes rather than no when he offers me a bottle.   

you're the only one who can assess your drinking issues.  it would be great if your 'controls' would work, and i hope they do.  if they don't, i'm always available by pm if you want to talk about it.  best to you with this.  i know how difficult it can be.   

That's so kind and it's nice to know someone is there to talk to if I slip, thank you. 

[LearnToLoveTheRide]

Hi blues_cruise

I put my drug of choice and alcohol down 25 years.

I say this with all the love and compassion I have: abstain completely. Alcohol is a poison for you. Doesn't matter how you slice it, 1 is too many and eventually, 1 000 will not be enough.

I almost relapsed after my escape run with my boys but I stayed sober just for the day. I am learning to handle my C-PTSD from my heart and mind.

Do whatever it takes not to drink. Please.

LTLTR.

[Rainydaze]

Thank you LTLTR. I think you might be right. I was doing alright while I was feeling positive but just had a weekend dominated by a big emotional flashback and drank my way through much of it. Three days in a row waking up on the sofa at 5am...not healthy. 

[PeTe]

Hi blues_cruise.

Every article on changing habits now sees slipping as part of the process, so there's no reason to lose hope even though you've slipped a little. It's natural. You've been doing good for a while, finding ways that work for you, and I'm sure you'll find back to them.

You've focused on things that motivate you more, like sticking to a diet. You say it's harder to not drink if you're feeling overwhelmed or if your husband offers you a drink. Could you find any solutions for those specific situations?

Anyways, you're doing good, hard work trying to change this habit! 

[Rainydaze]

Hi PeTe

Thank you for the reassurance. Food for thought. I think ideally I probably should work on not getting so tired and overwhelmed in the first place, then in theory the desire to hide within the effects of alcohol won't be so strong. A lot of it is due to a fear of feeling sad I think but maybe I am strong enough to confront these emotions rather than running away from them all the time. I guess they're there for a reason after all.

[PeTe]

It's so good that you're thinking about this and coming up with solutions! If you could avoid getting tired an overwhelmed, that would be great.

Confronting my fears has increased my wellbeing, but I find it's important to do it in a way that I feel I'm handling it. For me support is important, and I guess you could get support from you husband, this group or maybe even a therapist if it's hard to confront the emotions.

[Rainydaze]

Yeah it's true, support is important and I do think this has come about because I've tried to deal with it all on my own for so long. This group does really help, as does blogging my thoughts in a journal. It is really difficult confronting how I feel and moving through the pain rather than trying to skirt around it but I'm trying to have faith that it will be far healthier in the long run. 

[Estella]

  blues cruise

TR and LTLTR - what you both said resonates strongly with me. I would prefer to be T total, but I occasionally do drink when I socialise. Unfortunately I don't know my limits so well and as I have relied on binge drinking in the past, for me this can be a downwards spiral. I am trying to train myself to just enjoy the one drink, or to stop myself when I feel I'm slipping from having something strong. I guess I'm working on building up a tolerance, although it's hard when I don't *really* enjoy drinking so much and it's not what I'd normally choose to do. I wish there were more alcohol free options in the pub and/or it was more socially acceptable to be T total without getting a bit of a look from drinking friends.