Confusion

[sigiriuk]

Over the last few months, I realise how much i love drama and chaos. It's seductive and exciting, so I try to consciously avoid it.
What it means, is that I don't post so much on our forum....I tended to post during a crisis.

Over the last 24hours, i have begun to see the extent of my alters. They are shifts, that my partner thinks is moodiness, or being overexcited. I find it difficult to separate out what is an alter, what is an emotional flashback, emotional dysregulation etc etc.

It's a bit confusing.

[Rainagain]

For me the recognition of what is happening is key.

If you recognise you are drawn to drama and chaos then that is an essential first step to understanding.

If you are questioning the role of alters, flashbacks etc. then you are on the road to recovery and heading in the right direction.

For me the years spent responding instinctually without understanding are  something I am ashamed of.

Pleased for you slim, you are on the right track.

[sanmagic7]

slim, learning about ourselves is so important if we truly want recovery.  i believe that the more we learn about who we really are, what we want, our likes and dislikes, our reactions, etc., the more able we are to sort thru each and every one and decide what it is we want to keep, what we want to put aside, or what we want to eliminate.

only then can we take the appropriate actions needed.  it really is confusing, tho, when we begin to realize and confront all these pieces that make up us.  it's a learning trip, a time of transition.  you're not where you were, but you're not yet where you want to be.  i've come to see confusion as a sign of growth, so to me it's positive at its foundation.

keep going.   i believe you're on the right track.

rain, it saddened me to hear you say you're ashamed of the time you spent acting instinctually.  personally, i don't see anything to be ashamed of.  you can't do something different when you don't know what's going on.  i believe your instincts helped keep you alive until you got to a place where you were finally able to look at and recognize what was happening.   

the shame belongs to others who put you in such a position.  it's like we can't ask the question if we don't know what we need to be asking.  that's not our fault.   i give you a lot of credit for continuing forward in spite of not knowing.  you're now recognizing what you need to know, and that's progress.

love and hugs all around.

[PaperClip]

I can relate very much.  When I can see this much as you have, it is great headway.

[sigiriuk]

Thank you all for your responses.
I see such wellbeing in what you say.
It gives me hope.