Irene Lyon

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Gromit

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Irene Lyon
« on: February 26, 2018, 11:49:24 PM »
https://irenelyon.com/2017/09/14/toxic-shame-creates-fallout-call-depression/

Someone somewhere else suggested a look at Irene Lyon. Never heard of her although she suggests looking at Bessel van der Kolk & Gabor Mate who I have found via the Mindrolling podcasts. There is a blog, see the link, and other stuff I have yet to look at.
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Three Roses

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Re: Irene Lyon
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2018, 12:26:01 PM »
 Thanks!  ;D

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Fen Starshimmer

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Re: Irene Lyon
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2018, 06:10:26 AM »
Thanks for posting Gromit. This article really resonates with me, especially this part on toxic shame:

'Toxic shame is a cellular, body quality of defeat. It manifests itself as squashing our life force energy out of us. We shrink. We feel like we mean nothing. We feel we are nothing. Typically it is our parents who dose this out to us, but it can be others; family members, bullying siblings, bullying school mates, partners etc… Sadly bullying siblings go hand-in-hand with parents who dose out that toxic shame.
Because a parent often can’t feel or see that bullying, and causing humiliation to their offspring is a bad thing and should be stopped, it continues and siblings will get away with it as well which just perpetuates this vicious cycle.'

I've been gradually coming to the realisation that my parents were deeply unconscious during my childhood, and were not aware of the great harm they were causing me with their bullying, gaslighting treatment of me, singling me out of the three of their children. This realisation has helped me grieve, heal emotional wounds, and, surprisingly forgive them. I see them as victims of their childhoods, possibly just another line in generations of bullying parents. I always knew I would never repeat this unconscious harmful behaviour. Like my mother says, I seemed to know things from a very young age. I just can't help feeling sad for them, really sad for their souls. I pray for them now.