I had a panic attack in public

  • 6 Replies
  • 210 Views
*

songbirdrosa

  • Member
  • 216
    • View Profile
I had a panic attack in public
« on: March 06, 2018, 04:16:15 AM »
I was out today to sort out some things with my disability payments (have to have a biannual assessment done) and the lady I was talking to seemed to be rather new and wasn't quite sure what was happening. She insisted that I needed to fill out a form to prove I've been looking for work with ten job applications by tomorrow. Naturally, this was a big shock as that's not meant to be part of my payment criteria. So I got really freaked out and had a full-blown panic attack right in the middle of the office. It took the manager intervening and explaining to her what my requirements are before I started to calm down. And now I just feel dreadfully guilty for creating such a scene. Hoping to meet up with a friend later to fight the inclination to hide under my blankets forever.

*

Dee

  • Member
  • 1468
    • View Profile
Re: I had a panic attack in public
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2018, 05:22:00 AM »

I wish I could say how many times this has happened to me.  I have decided, it just is.  I do realize that most people really just feel for me, that's all.  So maybe I'm not okay, and maybe it drew attention.  However, maybe they are more aware, maybe sympathetic.  It doesn't get rid of the embarrassment though.  I try to think of what I would think if I was the observer.  I would have empathy.  The last time I cried for an entire flight after a panic attack at the gate and onto the plane.  I could see the concern in the flight attendants eyes.  I just nodding, indicating I would be okay.  They were concerned, but I don't feel judgemental.

So while it totally sucks, I try to put it in perspective.  The worse thing is someone had an emotional reaction and didn't know what to do.  It's okay, I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't hurt anyone, I just was. 

I'm so sorry.  I know what to do when it happens now, but I have to have it happen to work through it and then it takes time.

 :hug:

*

Blueberry

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • 4663
    • View Profile
Re: I had a panic attack in public
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2018, 07:22:04 AM »
 :hug: :hug: songbird

*

ah

  • Member
  • 526
    • View Profile
Re: I had a panic attack in public
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2018, 11:27:00 AM »
Yikes! If it happened to me I would have reacted just like you.

Sounds terrifying, the implications if what she said was right are enormous, so no wonder you were so overwhelmed. And then the humiliation of being in pain in public can make it harder still, in my experience.

I think it's a really good sign actually that when the manager sorted out the technical stuff, you were able to calm down. It shows your fear was justified and rooted firmly in reality. Losing your payments from one day to the next would be beyond scary, I bet you need them.
When the situation became clearer, your body instantly responded and was able to calm itself back down. That says a lot about you... I learn from it that you're really tired, and this triggered you strongly but you're also extremely sane. :bigwink:

I hope the lady you were talking to won't make the same mistake again with anyone else. (Well, I bet she won't :whistling: )

*

hereforhope

  • Member
  • 26
    • View Profile
Re: I had a panic attack in public
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2018, 03:00:43 PM »
Not much I can say except feel better soon.  :hug:

*

sanmagic7

  • Member
  • 5312
    • View Profile
Re: I had a panic attack in public
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2018, 03:13:01 PM »
 :hug: :hug:

*

songbirdrosa

  • Member
  • 216
    • View Profile
Re: I had a panic attack in public
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2018, 04:48:10 AM »
Update on this situation!

I had my assessment today, and the lady who saw me was really nice and very helpful. I've been given a six month medical exemption from all mandated activities, so I have some time to focus on improving and getting stable enough to slowly re-enter work. When that's up, they're also going to send me to a specialist support network to make sure I'm coping with everything alright.