Saying hi

[Estella]

Hiya,

I'm returning to this forum after a break. I've recently been diagnosed with ptsd as well as gender dysphoria and have a long term diagnosis of bpd. I was at odds with the bpd diagnosis for a while, but accept I have all the traits and have a better understanding of them now.

I'm finding I feel less ashamed than I used to, when I acknowledge my mental health. There was a lot of shame and hiding myself away growing up. Been taking a dysfunctional attitudes questionnaire and am finding the main improvement recently is I don't feel so ashamed of my behaviour anymore. Understanding how my behaviours were influenced and developed has been a key part in letting go of any shame. It was a natural psychological reaction, it happens to others, I'm still a valid person who deserves a place in the world.

That being said might sound like I'm over confident. I'm shaking as I write this and nearly everything I do is tainted by anxiety. I'm battling anxiety every day, pushing myself a little bit further to challenge the ptsd and strengthen my tolerance to stress. I'm doing this by aiming to push myself a bit harder every day.


Estella

[Kizzie]

HI Estella and welcome to OOTS     Members here have Complex PTSD versus PTSD and/or BPD, but if you feel like you have the symptoms of the former you may find it useful to read and participate here. There is a page of info about the similarities and differences if you'd like to read about them here - http://www.outofthestorm.website/symptoms/.  If you do see yourself as having CPTSD symptoms moreso than PTSD/BPD it may even be you have been misdiagnosed because it is relatively new to many in the mental health field.

In any case, welcome and I hope you find some info and support here to help you find your way 

[Estella]

Thanks Kizzie, the Dr didn't confirm c-ptsd yet.

[Slackjaw99]

I suspect if you were to take a history of anyone with PTSD the majority would actually qualify for cPTSD. In the USA where I am, returning soldiers are routinely diagnosed with PTSD, yet 50% of kids going into the military come from traumatic situations including broken homes, poverty, and domestic violence. That up to 50% of new recruits with some level of undiagnosed cPTSD who go on to witness the horrors of war.

[Kizzie]

Hey Estella - just wanted to mention that you don't need an official diagnosis here, if you yourself see that you have the symptoms that's enough.  Complex PTSD is not 'official' in either of the two main diagnostic manuals used, the APA DSM and the WHO ICD.  It will be included in the new edition of the WHO ICD coming out in 2018 so there is progress, but some GPs and mental health professionals won't make a diagnosis Complex PTSD until they see it in one of these manuals.   

[Estella]

My experience is definitely of the complex type. I haven't really been able to discuss or remember what the Dr or psychologist said though... I've read some of the Pete Walker book and feel this book explains my experience pretty well