Hello Everyone!

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loveis

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Hello Everyone!
« on: April 16, 2018, 01:20:10 PM »
This is the first time that I have joined a forum, as well as the first time that I am publicly sharing that I bear many consequent cPTSD symptoms and developmental arrests due to parental addiction and codependency, physical, verbal, and emotional abuse, neglect, and abandonment throughout childhood and adolescence.

Among the devastating symptoms I struggle with are toxic shame, social anxiety, and isolation. I am realizing that for me especially, these three issues continue to play off of each other in cycle. The toxic shame that I hold from my past experiences conjures negative cognitions, especially in social settings, which lead me to isolate and avoid such situations. Yet, the feelings are conflicting; beneath the terror/anxiety towards social encounters lies a deep need/desire for social interaction and connection. Thus, taking the step to join this community is both very difficult for me, as well as very important to me.

Since I found OOTS several weeks ago, I have been stopping in to read some of the resources as well as the community posts. I have admired the courage with which many have shared their stories, and I have reflected in wonder at the compassion which the members of the community have provided for each other. Though I had not worked up the courage to join or to share, I kept returning for a while, just to read and to see genuine messages and reflections of hope.

From your posts, I have learned that to receive love and goodness is not only possible for survivors, but that as survivors we ARE all still capable of immensely powerful, healing love! Despite many crippling fears, I have resolved to learn to manifest this powerful love for myself and for others, and I deem this as a necessary part of the healing process for me.

Thank you all for inspiring me to continue to take steps, large and small, in the process of healing. I hope that I can learn to do the same for you, in turn, as part of this community. I am learning to find the voice I did not know that I had, and I am hoping that this community will be a safe place for all of us to explore those parts of ourselves.

Sending lots of positive thoughts, energy, and love to all of you out there!

 :grouphug:

Re: Hello Everyone!
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2018, 01:54:32 PM »
Welcome loveis:) I can appreciate the amount of courage that it took to post today! Thank you for sending "positive thoughts, energy, and love."

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Kizzie

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Re: Hello Everyone!
« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2018, 01:30:55 PM »
Hi and a very warm welcome to OOTS loveis   :heythere:

I'm glad you took the risk and posted.  Social anxiety is such an issue for me also so I appreciate the courage it takes to make that first post.  I remember feeling so vulnerable, but at the same time I knew connecting with others and finding my voice was so important to navigating my way out of the storm that is CPTSD. Finding my voice has led to a process of naming, claiming and  taming my trauma.

I hope you find the support and info here you are looking forward - keep on posting!   :yes:
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion - Dalai Lama

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Deep Blue

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Re: Hello Everyone!
« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2018, 06:23:38 AM »
Loveis,
Welcome  :heythere:
We are glad you joined our community.  I was in the same boat as you in that I read people’s stories and responses for awhile before I took the steps to become a member.  These really are great people and have really helped me in my times of need.
For those who understand,
no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand,
no explanation is possible.

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Sceal

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Re: Hello Everyone!
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2018, 04:01:46 AM »
 :heythere:
Hi you! Just wanted to say hello - and welcome to the forum!