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Started by thetruth, May 14, 2018, 04:03:38 PM

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thetruth

Hi,

Im new. Im struggling with the legacy of a very problematic working experience which ended 5 years back. Things are getting worse because I cant move forward. By that I mean the depression resulting from the injustice and inability to think about anything but what happened between 2009 and 2013 in that job, before they sacked me, is getting more unbearable. For some time now I have been aware of the similarity between my symptoms and CPTSD. Pete Walkers book should be with me tomorrow.

My life is owned by this thing now and it is not fair. How to recover is where I need help. I am considering a geographical move for temporary respite.

Thanks.

thetruth

Hope67

#1
Hi thetruth,
Welcome to the forum.  I'm glad to hear that Pete Walker's Book is due to arrive tomorrow, and I hope you'll find it really helpful - it's a great book - not sure which one you've got - as I know he's written 3 that I know of, but they are all good - I've read them all.

I would like to wish you the best in moving forward - and hope you'll find support and validation here.

Hope  :)

Blueberry

#2
Hi thetruth :heythere: Welcome to the forum!


Rainagain

#3
Hi thetruth,

I'm really glad you are here and I would like to welcome you too.

I developed cptsd through my work too, it was a very tough time and I obsess about what was done to me still, I left nearly two years ago but can't reconcile myself to what happened.

Being here helps me, I hope it helps you too.



jamesG.1

#4
Hi thetruth,

welcome to the forum!
Totally understand the dynamics of what is affecting you. Many, MANY people have issues with mental health deriving from workplace bullying and abuse. You are not alone there. Reconciling it is tough, somehow the injustice of these things can go round and round and it is seemingly impossible to make sense of, but then that is the sense in a way, it is meaningless. Selfish, narcissistic people will do anything to shore up their flagging sense of self and when they feel they have a captive audience, just like they have in a family, they will be very abusive to anyone and anything that gets in their way. Accepting that such people exit and that you did nothing to make things go the way they did apart from be in the way, is critical. So many of these stories are similar, these are regular patterns that recur, but rest assured that they were wrong and you were right, no matter how weird and strong the message they threw at you may be.

If you feel it helps, then tell your story in here and get it out onto the forum. Telling the story is a huge part of recovery.

In the meantime, check out the brilliant Spartan life coach on youtube. Was a revelation for me and probably a life saver.

thetruth

#5
Hi Hope67, 

Thanks a lot for your message. I have ordered CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker.

Im in a bad way.

Thank you.

Quote from: Hope67 on May 14, 2018, 04:45:01 PM
Hi thetruth,
Welcome to the forum.  I'm glad to hear that Pete Walker's Book is due to arrive tomorrow, and I hope you'll find it really helpful - it's a great book - not sure which one you've got - as I know he's written 3 that I know of, but they are all good - I've read them all.

I would like to wish you the best in moving forward - and hope you'll find support and validation here.

Hope  :)

thetruth

#6
Quote from: Blueberry on May 14, 2018, 06:28:32 PM
Hi thetruth :heythere: Welcome to the forum!

Hi Blueberry,

Thanks a lot for the welcome.

thetruth.

thetruth

#7
Quote from: Rainagain on May 14, 2018, 11:20:27 PM
Hi thetruth,

I'm really glad you are here and I would like to welcome you too.

I developed cptsd through my work too, it was a very tough time and I obsess about what was done to me still, I left nearly two years ago but can't reconcile myself to what happened.

Being here helps me, I hope it helps you too.

Hi Rainagain,

Thanks for the welcome. That is a good way to put it. I cannot reconcile what was done. When I attempted to explain to my GP why I was so affected by the abuse and his refusal to help he treated me like I was a nuisance. He is a large part of why I am currently struggling. He with held support to avoid a conflict with my employer and he doesnt reacy kindly when he is reminded of that. He made things worse.

thetruth.

thetruth

#8
Quote from: jamesG.1 on May 15, 2018, 05:33:04 AM
Hi thetruth,

welcome to the forum!
Totally understand the dynamics of what is affecting you. Many, MANY people have issues with mental health deriving from workplace bullying and abuse. You are not alone there. Reconciling it is tough, somehow the injustice of these things can go round and round and it is seemingly impossible to make sense of, but then that is the sense in a way, it is meaningless. Selfish, narcissistic people will do anything to shore up their flagging sense of self and when they feel they have a captive audience, just like they have in a family, they will be very abusive to anyone and anything that gets in their way. Accepting that such people exit and that you did nothing to make things go the way they did apart from be in the way, is critical. So many of these stories are similar, these are regular patterns that recur, but rest assured that they were wrong and you were right, no matter how weird and strong the message they threw at you may be.

If you feel it helps, then tell your story in here and get it out onto the forum. Telling the story is a huge part of recovery.

In the meantime, check out the brilliant Spartan life coach on youtube. Was a revelation for me and probably a life saver.

Hi James,

What is so damaging for my mind is that the false version of the facts presentes by my abusive employer to my gp, was willingly accepted by my gp and as a result my gp refused to link my stress to my employment. This paved the way for an unfair dismissal that I could not defend myself against because I was astounded at events and my stress was colossal. 5 years have passed and right now, as a result of all of this I am suicidal.

My doctor accepted as true that my stress was not related to bad management and harassment. He accepted their deceitful story and he refused to offer me the only defense available to me, a diagnosis of work related stress. 1.5 years prior to this he recorded in his notes that he believed my stress was work related. He is a liar who served his own convenience rather than honour facts and help his patient.

thetruth.

jamesG.1

well I know how that feels. Sigh.

Where are you based? In the UK I think you can appeal and there are various support systems available to help you fight your corner. My advice is to reach out to every avenue of help you can find and build up advice.

Abusors of any kind are extrememly devious and have low cunning in abundance. But you must ackowledge that you are far from alone in this scenario and that others have been there and will have advice and wisdom to impart. First move is to develop some defiance and rule out self harm because, quite simpl,y, you should not hand them such a conclusion. You thriving is the antidote to this and you need to turn round and fight back.. not so much by going at them, but more that you have to cut the threads o then... to now. Stuff em, they ruined things then, but that has to stop now.  Enough already.

But, as I always say, you ae not wrong to feel the way you feel , nor have you done anything wrong. C-PTSD is a natural reaction to unreasonable unnatural behaviour. Your brain is trying to save a vast puzzle with no instructions and it's struggling to cope. Realising that there is no point to looking for answers from such situations is a big start. Yes it was unfair, is unfair, and will always be unfair, but it is casting too strong a shadow so you have to step away

Glad you are in here with us. This is a great place with amazingly strong, brave people. You are understood and you are always going to be able to express yourself so welcome.

Time to fight back!

thetruth

Hi James,

I am in N. Ireland so our rules are pretty much the same I guess. UK rules apply.

I am depressed and exhausted and my umpteen false dawns that I had moved on are only memories. There is no point in thinking moving on is an option now because this thing comes back even when you think it has lost its power. It has ruined my life for a decade now almost since starting that job in 2009. Im out of it 5 years and things are getting worse. I need relief from the stress immediately. But each morning I awaken into a psychological *.

Rainagain

Have you sought legal advice?

You potentially have a clinical negligence claim against GP and a personal injury claim against your employer. Both are about financial compensation.

I'm taking my ex employer to court, its horrible but it gives me something to work at, if you cannot get over it then getting stuck into them might help you, especially if you win big.

You can get a no win no fee agreement, its a bit of a rip off but it means no up front costs.

Sounds like you don't have much left to lose? Same here.

thetruth

Hi Rainagain,

Yes I think Im just about capable of going that way now. The trouble is I may have left it too long. Its been 5 years since the gp refused to say my stress was work related and since the employer was able to unfairly dismiss me as a result of my doctors indifference.

I think I ought to take legal action.

Thanks.

thetruth

Quote from: Rainagain on May 15, 2018, 03:12:54 PM
Have you sought legal advice?

You potentially have a clinical negligence claim against GP and a personal injury claim against your employer. Both are about financial compensation.

I'm taking my ex employer to court, its horrible but it gives me something to work at, if you cannot get over it then getting stuck into them might help you, especially if you win big.

You can get a no win no fee agreement, its a bit of a rip off but it means no up front costs.

Sounds like you don't have much left to lose? Same here.

Rainagain,

I did seek legal advice immediately after redundancy but I was completely worn out and deeply stressed. I had to leave it and try to move on. Little did I know that was not going to be possible. Little did I know the problems that were going to arise as a result of being so badly treated. My life has been a minefield of difficulty for the last 5 years since that point.

It was 16 August 2013 they unfairly dismissed me. So just under 5 years. Im worried Ive missed the boat. I could still challenge the doctors decision making within 5 years I think. I need proper advice.

Rainagain

#14
thetruth,

You have 3 years from the date of injury, but, you also have 3 years from the date you became aware you were injured.

As you have gotten worse you should be able to argue you didn't realise you had a permanent injury until recently.

Worth a try, get legal advice before starting anything though, don't use the NHS complaint facility for example, get legal advice first before you show your hand.