Reminder to self of old, tried methods

[Blueberry]

In therapy today my T reminded me directly and indirectly of methods I've used before that actually work for me and which I would do better to integrate more into daily life.

I do well with imagination work, which I've posted about elsewhere (Screen Processing, Bank Vault, Inner Safe Place etc). It's fairly quick to do and effective in the short to medium term, once you know how to do the methods. Today my T made me aware of additional situations in which I can implement these methods.

Another is increasing resilience, which is kind of connected to the 'stabilisation mantra' in trauma-informed therapy in the country I live in: stabilisation stabilisation stabilisation, have a peek at something traumatic and process possibly, then stabilisation stabilisation stabilisation, rinse and repeat till healthy. Stabilisation can be very short-term like pushing off walls to get back into body or it can be a longer term thing. For the latter it's important to know: what does me good, what helps me keep going? Then build up resilience by focussing on these. That includes my garden, some of my freelance work, being in nature, singing, movign around to music, healthyish friends, laughing, sense of smell, sense of touch. 

And finally: protecting myself from trauma which means not reading so many descriptions of it, including here. I don't have to read everybody's posts! I do sometimes, to pass the time? or to dispel loneliness? or to put off actually acting on my own healing?  but I really don't need to, not even as Mod. It also means being careful how much I write about what I experienced, what was traumatic for me. My T said today it isn't good for me to think or say "I was SG in FOO". With the abbreviation it's not so bad, but in general it's not good because I'm repeating to myself what FOO did to me. A lot of the abuse was verbal and psychological. My T said it's good instead to visualise myself putting my hands and arms up to send the 'message' away and even saying to myself my country's equivalent of Return to Sender to the Inner Parcel Delivery Service. Except it's not literally 'return to sender', it's just 'I refuse to accept this delivery' which is better for me. Not send back to FOO, just don't accept it.

[Blueberry]

My T said today it isn't good for me to think or say "I was SG in FOO". With the abbreviation it's not so bad, but in general it's not good because I'm repeating to myself what FOO did to me. A lot of the abuse was verbal and psychological.
This is connected to the stories we tell about ourselves. Repeating FOO's story isn't so good. It's healing to find my own narrative, especially post-abuse. I have next to no real contact to FOO so I can begin to live my own life and then tell my own story.

Another old method I remembered today is based on the Wailing Wall but instead of having a place where you take your complaints / mourning / grieving, you have a time-frame. So max 1 hour a day for complaints / mourning / grieving, the other 23 hours more moving forward, working on resilience methods, doing things that are fun, creative, maybe physical too (in my case). So today I realised I could use this method to thought-stop all the ruminations I tend towards half the day. I'm sure now based on what my T said yesterday that these ruminations drain my energy and keep me focussed on people who aren't very healthy e.g. FOO mbrs but also other people I come across where I don't react as well to protect myself as I originally wanted. So I think to myself afterwards: how could I have reacted instead?? And then I get stuck there explaining away in my head to the other person. So, time to limit that. This method courtesy of a psychologist called Luise Reddemann whose works are unfortunately not available in English.

[Gromit]

Ooh, a time for rumination. I get stuck in that too, I even watched baby ducks today whilst walking the dog but, it wasn't until I stopped to chat to someone else with a dog that I broke my rumination. After we parted it was like, 'what was I so deep in thought about?' That's why it can be disappointing not to meet other people, willing to talk on our daily walks. I need distractions from myself.

My last T was concerned about these forums too, but I find I don't want to read long horror stories which is why I spend more of my forum time on here rather than other forums I have found. I like the many suggestions or viewpoints that arise here, because sometimes it helps to see things from someone else's perspective, and sometimes I can share a different perspective.
G

[Three Roses]

And finally: protecting myself from trauma which means not reading so many descriptions of it, including here.

[Blueberry]