Self and space

[Blueberry]

I hardly know how to title this progress.

For a good few years I've been pretty triggered by any unexpected actions in the garden, which is shared space. I do have beds which are in my use, as some other people do too, but other parts of the garden are no-one's or communal. So somebody heavily pruned a tree - me severely triggered. Took me a couple of years to figure out that a tree being pruned in front of a wall changed the appearance of the garden and made me feel unsafe. I also used to have nightmares upon nightmares of other tenants or the previous landlord taking over my bits of the garden - rooting up all my plants or covering them in concrete or planting their own stuff in my space. (I can imagine as I re-read that sentence what all that has to do with FOO )

Today when I opened a window I noticed big darkish blocks lying on the grass next to my bed of berries and currants. I stayed in the present  No EF. No waves of panic or fear, or annoyance. I looked again more closely and saw that it's part of renovations going on in the next door building. I also saw that huge stones and roots and earth are all piled up as they're being dug out but that they are also being piled up in such a way that they are not damaging my red and black currants and my raspberries. I noted while doing it all how big this is! Nobody is so far infringing on my garden space or damaging my 'crops'. And my garden space and crops, even though they are sort of mine, they're not my body. They are separate from me. Something that looks as if it could threaten them doesn't threaten me and my body integrity. I note while I write it: this is huge. Big breakthrough. 

[Elphanigh]

 

Way to go Bluebery! That is huge progress. I am so glad you shared 

[Sceal]

I'm empty of words right now. But I wanted to cheer you on and tell you I am happy for you having such a big breakthrough!

[Blueberry]

Thanks Sceal and Elpha!