Letter to My Sadness...

[woodsgnome]

Dear Sadness,

Hey, there. It's okay, you might as well come out of the shadows. I know, it must be a surprise, my talking to you after all these years of our difficult times together. Look around--it's just you and me. One might think we were the best of friends. We know each other so well; might as well let our guard down this once and share some tea, or just a little chat. After all, we're more like friends than just passing acquaintances.

Describing our relationship as one of friendship might seem a stretch on the surface. See, I have no friends at all, and yet you always seem to show up for me. Many people would like to chase you away, treat you as some enemy, and never ever accept you as more than an unwanted stranger. I'll admit to having done that, too--we're programmed to avoid dark sinister types like you. Except I've changed my mind on that. You may have a dark aspect I guess, and I have seen you lurking around a lot, and yes you do head for the hills  when anger and frustration explodes out of me. Even I would like to get away from me when all * breaks loose and I rant into the night.

It's okay, though. I don't think you're ever going to leave at this point. While I'm not entirely cozy with why you show up, I can at least be comfortable with your otherwise steadying presence. Lord knows, I've had no other friends willing to sit with me when all seems lost. Of all the 'villains' who pop into my being, I can no longer honestly identify you as an enemy. In fact, I think I need your unique and total sincerity.

You truly stand apart. And...gulp...I'd be lost without you. You don't mean any harm, and you have a quiet way of respecting and sharing for those times I lose my way. You won't harm me, just remind me of how truly awful things were and how it never was my fault--any of it.  I value the rare  friend you are--nonjudgemental, honest, and loyal. Consistent, without complaint. I sought to ignore you, but still you allow me to grieve, save me from denial, and never yell; sometimes you just cry with me, staying with my shaking body. 

Your presence allows me the freedom to release the searing pain, and pick up the pieces from which I can once again try to build towards the peace of mind I crave. So many told me in numerous ways that I was worthless--but not you; you are just here, and won't shun or hurt me; nor will you slyly disguise your real intentions--you're just here. That's what friends do. I never really wanted to chase you off, I know you understand that.

So, Sadness, I thank you for being here. I can no longer honestly hate and wish you ill. Somehow you found me, and that's more than can be said for so many. Thanks again, Friend.

[signed] ~ Your buddy, Woodsgnome ~

[radical]

Beautiful.  Just beautiful.

[Laura90]

Oh my, that is so so profound and simple and as radical said; beautiful.

I'm so motivated by your courage to fully open yourself to the powerful and painful grief and welcome it as a friend.

I'm already thinking what a friend means to me:
      Supportive
      Loving
      By your side
      Rooting for you
      Tells you the real perspective

And gosh, yes, so so amazed and happy for you woodsgnome that you are seeing your pain and sadness as those things.

Hugs and cheers to you

[Three Roses]

Beautifully expressed, Woodsgnome, as usual. You're truly a wordsmith.