I've been talking about moving away from the vicinity of my sister since I was inpatient in early 2017 (trauma program). Since then I did a lot of talk and no action. I think it just felt too big to do alone. It came up again while I was inpatient for my eating disorder. I now have had 3 therapist and 3 psychiatrist tell me to go. I've put my house up for sell (I think I may have an offer) and I bought a new place. It isn't that far away, 90 minute drive, but far enough.
In September my sister said my dad died a broken man because of me. She also said I was 100% responsible for ruining my mom and dad's lives. Since then the thought of seeing her causes a panic attack. I live about half a mile away and I am afraid to walk my dog in my neighborhood.
I'll need to build new support, but it is close enough that I can keep my providers at least for the time being (or as long as I am willing to drive). I had to go while the motivation was fresh from being inpatient again.
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
good for you, dee. i completely believe your sister is wrong. we are not responsible for others' feelings, nor for their choices in their lives. i hope you find some peace of mind once you're away. love :hug:
Boy, is your sister wrong! If she really believes that, she is deluded, brainwashed; if she doesn't truly believe it, then she's inflicting pain on you purposely.
You are doing yourself a favor to cut out all these toxic people from your life! Bravo, my friend!
Quote from: Three Roses on March 03, 2019, 04:10:31 PM
Boy, is your sister wrong! If she really believes that, she is deluded, brainwashed; if she doesn't truly believe it, then she's inflicting pain on you purposely.
You are doing yourself a favor to cut out all these toxic people from your life! Bravo, my friend!
:yeahthat:
Way to go! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
I know lots about "a lot of talk (or thoughts) and no action" though I believe for myself at least that a delay can be necessary. However imo you're making biiiig progress really fast! :applause: :hug:
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :applause: Yea for you taking that big step!
QuoteIn September my sister said my dad died a broken man because of me. She also said I was 100% responsible for ruining my mom and dad's lives. Since then the thought of seeing her causes a panic attack. I live about half a mile away and I am afraid to walk my dog in my neighborhood.
I am so sorry your S said this to you Dee, to be blamed and shamed for something this monumental is just cruel and untrue. I too moved away from my NM and NB and it gave me the energy and space to look at them and our relationships clearly and w/o constantly triggering. I couldn't think or feel anything around them b/c the old trauma would surge up and overtake me. Anyway, it did wonders for me and I hope the same is true for you :yes:
I feel like for once in my life I got a break. It worked out so well for me that it almost feels meant to be. I sold my house in a bidding war for more than I asked and a cash offer. The cash offer is good because I don't even think it would appraise for what I sold it. My offer on the other place was accepted without a counter. I like it better, it is a little bigger and nicer. It was almost an even trade.
Now, the hard part is moving. I've got it all set up and just packing now. I have just over a month. I think I will feel so free. Free just to move around without fear.
Wow! I'm so happy for you - I agree that it seems meant to be! I'm excited to see where this takes you, congrats - :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
Quote from: Dee on March 09, 2019, 03:24:54 AM
I think I will feel so free. Free just to move around without fear.
Oh that sounds great. It is what you truely deserve
:cheer:
Wonderful news Dee!! :thumbup: :cheer: :grouphug: