Does anyone else wonder what it would be like if there 'Little Ones' met themselves as adults?
I am terrified Little Me would hate and not trust me as an adult, be ashamed of me, that I'd be a disgrace.
Little me and the adult me need to be kept apart so I don't shatter forever.
Anyone else feel like that?
How old is your little me? Mine is about five, far too young to be anything but trusting and loving. Is it really your inner child generating those thought-feelings of shame, hate, distrust, disgrace? Mine couldn't, but there are other... Echoes/ghosts/demons ready at all times to keep abusing me, little me, and any other kind of me that I might be or try to be, and who would viciously, incessantly, and insistently try to keep all the parts of me apart from me, to never let the fractures heal, never let the wounds congeal.
QuoteI am terrified Little Me would hate and not trust me as an adult, be ashamed of me, that I'd be a disgrace. Little me and the adult me need to be kept apart so I don't shatter forever.
Maybe looking at who you are realistically as an adult is what you need to do before letting little you meet adult you? We often learn to shame and blame ourselves when we do not deserve any of that and need to hand all that * back to our abuser(s). Are you really truly a disgrace, a hateful person who is not to be trusted? or have you been made to feel this way?
When I have those moments of B&S I compare my behaviour and values to that of my abusers and I come out feeling a LOT better about who I am. Anyway, this might be something to try so that when you do choose to let younger you meet adult you, you have a realistic sense of who you genuinely are, not the negative image 'gifted' to you.
Thank you both for your replies. They helped a lot
Little Me's are a range of ages from about 8 up.
I'm feeling a bit scrambled now just writing this, but I wanted to say thank you.
:grouphug:
I found this to be a really powerful video about trauma and shame https://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/step-inside-the-circle/. Although it's about incarcerated survivors, it's such a visual and heartfelt reminder for anyone who endured childhood trauma about how we were affected and that we all need to have more compassion for ourselves.
I think the 11-12 year me would like me. He is who I hope I can become and am working on that. The 5-6 year me would like me because unlike my parents I would enjoy time with him and do things we both enjoy, because we enjoy the same things.
This all I would hope to happen.