When I say break, what I mean is I will continue with registrations and dealing with any reported posts, I just won't be posting/reading for a bit. I had an EF yesterday from feeling surrounded by those who traumatize people like us, a clear sign I need to let my nervous system and trauma responses calm. I'm also going to back away from the news & Twitter again, and not open any books in my tall stack for a week or two.
So I'm here but not here :)
Hope it goes well Kizzie :grouphug:
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Enjoy your break Kizzie,
I've been living an EF nightmare for nearly a week now. I think it's time I take a break too. Besides, I talk too much. My posts are too long. I need to chill. Relax. (I also need to learn to shorten my posts. I need to apologize to y'all for how deep I dive when I respond to your posts). My bad. I promise to do better in the future.
A break will do me good too.
I actually figured out that it's the new medication I'm on that is making me have anxiety attacks/EFs. Yet another med that affects me negatively :pissed: Just went thru this with Ambien (sleeping pill) and now with Ozempic (diabetes & weight loss). Sadly, this is a long acting drug (shot once per week 7 have taken 3) so I will need to put up with this anxiety attacks/EFs until the drug it wears off. Not pleasant at all but at least I know it's not me. In any event I am easily triggered right now so am going to carry on not reading/posting and just taking care of the admin side of the forum.
Hard not to be angry that my body reacts badly to so many medications and that it is a legacy of my trauma and having CPTSD. So glad though that we're able to figure these things out together here and not be at the mercy of not knowing what can/does affect us because of the trauma that played havoc with us in physical ways too.
I've had bad reactions to meds too. Glad you figured out the cause and that you are taking care of yourself. Sending lots of care to you. :hug:
That's great you figured that out but sorry to hear about the side effects. Hopefully, there's something else you can try.
That's really frustrating and discouraging, Kizzie! I'm sorry! I wonder if there's a commonality between the medications that do that to you...I hope there's another alternative!
But I am glad you figured out what was behind the EFs. That helps me a lot.
It really does help to know it's not me per se. At the same time these anxiety attacks are really difficult to weather as you all know. It's quite a struggle to convince my brain/body I'm not in any real danger.
We need so much more awareness & information from the medical folks about what relational trauma does to us physically!
I understand and maybe even more so because a "foreign" substance caused it. I hope it calms down for you :grouphug:
I looked at a lot of research around Hashimoto's thyroiditis thinking this is what I had (autoimmune can be genetic) and there are scores of people out there who can't get proper treatment for this from doctors (50k + on facebook in a group called Hasimoto's 411) who will only prescribe levothyroxine, which makes their symptoms worse. I don't want to go into a rant about pharmaceutical companies and medicine but they did lobby doctors and government heavily to not prescribe T3 only medication. I don't think relational trauma, ACEs, and hereditary autoimmune issues would even come into it because then they would have to make the generational trauma connection and :blowup: I think it's so engrained into what our worldview is what is a "disease" and "psychological issues" are some sort of failure.
I may have ranted a bit :))
I understand the rant Dolly, I think a lot of these things too. We need much more info about how trauma affects us intergenerationally. I often wonder what happened back along my family's lines that has carried forward. Just got a book called "It Didn't Start with You" by Mark Wolynn that is all about "inherited family trauma". It doesn't look like it touches much on the genetic predispositions involved but we'll see. I'm not going to start reading for a bit just to let things simmer down completely in my mind/body.
The Ozempic has finally worn off halleluyah. I saw my doc last week and my labs are fine so not starting me on any diabetes meds unless/until they tip over. It won't be Ozempic or any of that class that's for darn sure.
Tks everyone for you support, much appreciated! I'm mostly doing admin work behind the scenes but also making a post here and there to slowly get back into things.
That's great Kizzie :cheer: I'm glad your recovery is going well.
I'm a firm believer in generational trauma. I've found a lot of patterns in myself didn't actually start with me but were passed down. It's fascinating stuff.
Have started reading this book - it's great! He's affiliated with family constellation therapy which I think is fascinating as well.
Maybe I'm being wide-eyed and hopeful but I think this might be really helpful giving more distance to dealing with npd stuff as well. I found the part where he describes how a child who unconsciously takes on their parent(s) burden as likely having problems receiving in relationships later in life to be eye opening.
Very interesting how this is passed onto babies in the womb and how the epigenetic tags can go as far back as great grandparents as well.
Glad to hear it's good so far. :thumbup: I have a few books in the pile but that's one I'm really interested to get to.
Kizzie, thank you for sharing this book title.
I've read the intro and the first chapter so far of Mark Wollyn's book. It's excellent! It's already answering several questions; for example I can see that I'm not crazy to believe that I and my son both have bodies that are compensating for a missing right arm, following my dad losing his right arm in the most traumatic, bloodiest battle of the entire second world war. Gee...do you think there might have been some powerful residual trauma there? The true case examples in Wollyn's book are even more obscure than mine. So, whew! I'm not crazy. Incidentally, my son who shares the same missing-arm condition was born on my dad's 64th birthday. They have a lot in common...even their skeletal structures.
I recommend this book. It's a very easy read, short chapters, written in smooth, flowing common English, not like a content-heavy schollarly paper. So it's easy to relax with for a few minutes here and there during the day. I'm adding it to my recommend reading list for anyone with CPTSD.
Yes, I was joking with PC that we should have an informal book club. I have some questions around making peace with parents/family members who were abusers as it doesn't seem to be something he's touched on yet and I think that it's a big hurdle that a lot of us face.
True, Dolly.
I want to make peace with my abusers, and sometimes I trick myself into believing I've really done it. But after a while I revert back to my anger and hatred for them all over again. It's a roller coaster I'm getting tired of riding.
There's actually a designated area called "Book Talk" here - https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=191.0. If anyone is interested in chatting with other members about a particular book, let me know the title and author and I can add a sub-section for it. Or, you can just add the book as a new topic in the "Books" section and see if anyone want to talk about it. The latter is probably the simplest but either way works.
I agree PC, it's such a big thing to get our heads around. How can people do this to us? I'm pretty sure it's why things are manifesting in my life that are so out there when I think about it. Subconsciously these patterns are still playing out even though I'm working on "them."
Thanks Kizzie - I think I'll put it up there in case anyone else is interested in talking about it.