At times like these
I can't find my way
My internal compass is lost
The voices outside of me
Overpower the voices inside
Again
No matter how many steps forward I take
Some things knock me down
And drag me back
What can I see this time?
I know I have fallen
And I still love myself
The forces aren't my fault
I am only a human
Doing my best
I started with disadvantages
Encoded in my cells
And reinforced by my environment
This time will pass
And I will move forward again
But for now I am lost
I tend to slip into visions when I read poetry. If it's okay, I'd like to share what I saw on reading your touching words, Rainydiary.
Reading your poem, I saw a familiar dusty road with a tired-out look to it, within a desert-like atmosphere which stretched back as far as one could see. The signs that it stretches so far back makes the past look even more desolate and lonely.
Then I see a note -- your poem -- stuck into a self-made message kiosk. I get the feeling that leaving your poem/note here symbolizes this as your turning point, towards the fresher looking territory you're now headed towards.
As you continue moving further along, only the left-behind poem serves as your sad, exhausted message to your past troubles. You're already ahead, out of sight, moving a bit slower than you'd like, but at last sensing signs of a new trail leading towards a new, fresh horizon. As for the past, the note is already fading, though its language will remain in your heart.
Thanks for posting this, Rainydiary.
woodsgnome, I really appreciate you sharing this visual. It touched me and made me glad I took to the chance to write these words out.
I struggle with a story I tell myself that I am can't write poetry and yet I have been. Thank you for reading and offering support.
Thank you for sharing your tender poem. I know how it is to feel lost.