We're at Part 8 (we close out parts when they hit 5 pages) which tells me we do have good things in our lives so keep this thread going, little or big all good things matter.
1) I almost didn't go to choir practice this evening, but then I bestirred myself and went
2) Choir practice did me good: singing, distracting myself in a good way, leaving my head and feeling my breathing and therefore my body plus contact with other people
3) I couldn't find my bike key after choir but I calmed my panic by talking myself thru it and then I was able to find it!
4) Looking at our new list of dates from choir and remembering that whatever is going on because of LL, it's still important to live my life and e.g. go to choir and therefore NOT allow his shenanigans to upset and worry me to the point of that taking over my life
:thumbup: Good for you BB!
Thanks Kizzie :hug:
Now let me write 3 things for today, tho I have to think a bit:
1) I acted on my anger and spoke to the builders about the rain coming in and lo and behold when it started to rain, no drops came thru into my bedroom. Obviously they were capable of fixing the problem, despite telling me I'd have to put up till next week when the roof will be done
2) I've just been crying about a fairly factual email from FOO. Having felt and expressed sadness, devastation even, I feel a bit lighter.
3) I made myself a warm meal at noon.
1) I was able to be quite active today.
2) something I wanted to sell got paid for and collected today. A little money for me and less clutter in my apt :cheer:
3) I almost fell down a rabbit hole when responding to an 'apt to let' ad. Turned out it was a hoax, online too, and quite cleverly done. The good things: I didn't disappear down the rabbit hole and never resurface; I did realise it was a hoax before I entered any kind of risky information; I didn't harangue myself about it, I actually talked matter-of-factly to myself; though I did react with some feelings of fear, the fear wasn't as bad as it would've been a few years ago; I'm not dwelling on it
4) I ran a few errands by bike today and then decided spontaneously to drop by on an elderly man I know with a lovely garden. It's January in central Europe and there were flowers blooming! Did me a lot of good to look around in the garden. He always does a little tour pointing out what's growing, what he's pruned or cut back etc in the past while, the different characteristics of various plants, what's planned in the next few weeks. I'm smiling just writing about it. I also came away with a jar of homemade quince and apple jelly as well as apples from his own trees, tho long since picked - I'm happy they've kept this long in storage.
5) This elderly man hopes to come by and get my scented rose and a few other of my plants before LL vandalises them. Then, whereever I end up living, but most probably w/o a garden, I can drop by on him and smell my roses and enjoy watching bumble bees etc thronging my other flowers :)
6) I note how much good it does me to write all these things about a garden and harvesting and produce to eat :)
1) There were some bread and buns on the Giveaway Pantry Shelf
2) My student offered me a glass of water
3) Had a little cycle from A to B which made me feel a little wider awake.
1) Caught up on lots of sleep today
2) Mostly kept warm
3) Finally gave some specific crockery away which I'd been planning to do since before Xmas. One less little pile in my cupboard!
1) Conceded to myself that things are hard and allowed myself to doze and read most of the day, wrapped up in blankets to keep warm
2) Have just cooked up the remains of my tomato soup-with-chunks-of-bread from yesterday to eat something warming and filling. I added some tinned tomato as the remains were a bit watery. It was worth it to take this extra little step. My soup tasted good and I feel warmer now than I have all day
3) I went for a tiny little walk earlier in the day so got a bit of fresh air and moved myself a little, not really exercise, but stretched my legs a bit
1) I went over to a friend's and had a shower
2) Now I feel clean again
3) I made myself a hot and filling meal
1) I enjoyed the quiet in my bldg today
2) I enjoyed watching one of my pets careering around and also stopping to sniff my hand
3) I did get on with some stuff, including the shredding of documents which is something I'd been putting off for a couple of weeks.
1) I managed to leave the house at all this morning
2) Once I got going, I enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine
3) I had a hot main meal at a local church for €1
1) It was a lovely warm sunny day
2) I helped a woman find a building she was looking for, we got talking and found out she lives in the road I'm moving to! Stroke of fate? We exchanged phone numbers and she even offered to help me with my move because she likes to help people if she has time :) And I like to help if I have the energy, which I did this morning, and I simply made time.
3) Had a great time at Carnival today. Some of it doing volunteer work with pocket money rather than no pay at all
1) I had a look at what's growing in the garden of the new place I'm in and showed it to a friend
2) Remembering back to the day I was digging up plants in the old garden and how much I enjoyed working in the garden after so long
3) Everything finally completed with old LL
1) Lying warm and safe in bed in the morning
2) I went for a walk into town in the cold sunshine and I went a slightly different route from when I cycle
3) Watching it snow through the window above my computer - huge white flakes coming down faster and faster. I'm glad I don't have to go out
4) I have a looooong list of things to do and I'm NOT condemning myself for not doing a whole lot of them because I know I'm stalling for a reason and I know I will get back on track when the time is right.
1) A friend phoned me and we went for a walk
2) There's lots to see on a walk - trees with their very new leaves, flowers, I even found a tiny little stream again and showed my friend
3) I came home and did some garden work and that was good for me
1) It was very foggy this early morning and the spring-green leaves on the trees near my kitchen window made the fog seem a nice pleasant green colour. That's something beautiful and new in my new apartment. Still discovering new things here :)
2) I bought myself a second-hand solar light and it works very well shining towards my computer. This is great because the present ceiling light in this room isn't in an ideal place for lighting my computer screen.
3) I genuinely feel good when I'm using my solar light. I have a different one which is more a flashlight and/or something I can wear in the dark outside as a pedestrian. Either way, I feel good. Solar's cheaper than batteries or in the case of my indoor light, cheaper than electricity out of the socket.
4) I feel good today that at least points 1) and 2) are things I genuinely like rather than being things I've achieved. Often what I write on here are achievements, things I've managed. But not today for the most part! :cheer:
1) I've just been doing some much needed foot care. My feet do feel better now.
2) I decided going to church this morning was worth it even though I was running slightly late; it was worth it and since then some hymns have been singing in my head
3) It didn't start raining till I got home and undercover :)
I got some successful study time in.
I am feeling healthy and well.
I can see improvement in my work.
I got up and took both my morning meds and had my breakfast
I had my breakfast sitting in the sun in the kitchen and noted how nice the kitchen is in the morning since it gets the sun.That inspired me to then do a little sweeping and a little tidying.
I got ready to have my shower and then since I was overwhelmed plus wave of exhaustion I allowed myself to put it off.
I read some of Watership Down, a book I know so well I can dip into it at random and also one of those that got me interested in wild plants and flowers years ago.
That's more than 3 and that's fine!
1) I got up, took my first meds and then instead of wandering back to bed,
2) I noted how nice and sunny it was in the kitchen and there was an odd job to do,
3) so I got on with that and since then have done lots including
4) unpacking my CDs and cassetes and putting them away -another moving box emptied :cheer:
5) and I finally listened to some music :) :) :) (I don't know why but I had a block about that since my move)
Some good things yesterday:
I allowed myself a 2-hour nap; it was obvious to me afterwards that I had really needed it
I made myself flavoured water with squeezed lemon juice, grated lemon rind and some herbs. I keep it in the fridge and it's refreshing in this hot weather and leads me to drink more water than I have been doing
I finally vacuumed most of my apartment and down the stairs and mopped most of it as well :thumbup: :)
Three good things today:
I moved a piece of furniture to a different room and scrubbed something sticky off the top of it. I then allowed myself to zone out here on OOTS instead of 'getting on with other stuff'.
I dropped by on an elderly friend with a lovely garden and came away with some fruit off his trees and some parsley
Dragged myself off the computer earlier and went down into own garden where - among other things - I picked some flowers for indoors and put them in a vase
That sounds so lovely Blueberry :hug:
Thanks Moondance :)
1) I got more fruit and some veg from the elderly friend's garden
2) I was able to help him a bit today, more than I usually manage
3) It's a bit cooler today, partly because it was cloudly almost all day
1) The air was cooler this morning so I could air my whole apt with all windows wide open :)
2) It's been raining steadily for an hour :yahoo: :party: but not pelting down which means the ground can absorb some of it
3) When I got back from the market in the rain, I stood under a bush and did a little weeding cuz I like doing that and cuz the weeds are coming out of the ground more easily due to the rain ;)
I recognised a trigger before it got the best of me.
I cycled the kids to a trampoline park quite a distance from here, and we all had a great time and it was a huge success.
I am posting here for the first time in 2,5 months even though I still can't come up with a real third thing.
1) I mowed most of the lawn for the first time in my new place. A few hurdles overcome there. I asked for help from both neighbours on different occasions during the mowing.
2) It was actually quite hot this afternoon so I took a long break in the shade
3) I accidently stepped in some nettles but was able to find another plant that takes the sting away. I feel good that I learned about plants like that.
1) I started the day well by following an impulse to do a little tidying / sweeping outside, outfront.
2) Every time I saw or cycled through the area outfront I felt good seeing it tidy
3) Noticing these good things
That does sound great Blueberry.
I tidied up today too.
While I was nursing my husband just took my son the shop and came home and made lunch from conception to table. When I came out of the room lunch was served.
I started my course work, yay! Finally summer holiday is over.
1) Noticing how much progress I've made in the past couple of days :cheer:
2) Phoned another woman who was inpatient during some of my stay; we got on well there and had a good chat this evening, helping each other understand a bit what's going on atm but not in a way that triggered us
3) I got a ton of stuff done today including some really difficult stuff that have been waiting months if not years e.g. going to a outpatient physio about my feet. I've known for a number of years now that I need to but didn't have the wherewithal.
4) The physiotherapist was new to me. I said - "cptsd and it affects my feet and my whole physical body so that things that should be easy like doing physio exercises daily isn't possible." He sort of took that in but I know it's really difficult to comprehend and then he said "you could just run your foot over a prickly ball". Then - the good thing - I had an inspiration on how to explain it which helped me grasp it better myself! I said "I arranged an appointment just this morning (not even 2 hours beforehand) and I'm here but you notice that I haven't brushed my hair because I can't manage both. If I'd brushed my hair, I wouldn't have made it out of the house. So at home some fine day I can run my foot over a prickly ball, but I won't manage to brush my teeth" and I think he grasped the matter a tiny little bit, or at least he stopped finding reasons or suggesting ways round. But more especially explaining it helped me understand myself better. Because yes, it really is that bad! Those example are not an exaggeration. I wish they were.
5) Watching animal antics videos on youtube
6) I cooked myself a proper hot evening meal, using up two types of food that needed to be used up from my storage cupboard. I felt good about using them up rather than letting them go to waste, I've had it in mind for days now that it's time to prepare and eat them and now I have :cheer:
7) I listened to music and moved about a bit while working in the kitchen
8 ) I found some give-away forks today :) I needed additional forks and have been looking for a while in second-hand shops and street-side give-away boxes
9) Had a few nice chats when I was out and about
10) Big trauma recovery steps going on :) :cheer:
1) I'm singing again :) :cheer: (at home by myself, hymns accompanied by CDs)
2) I found out accidently that if I stand in front of what I think is called a dormer window and sing, I hear my own voice much better than normally and I'm surrounded by singing - my own singing - and it feels good to be surrounded
3) I decided to go ahead and try out my old crutches to see if that would help my feet when walking to and from bus stops on way to and from occupational therapy, and it did! I have no diagnosis yet, no doctor has seen me since my legs and feet took a nose-dive, but I felt crutches might help and they do! I can trust my own judgement sometimes! Probably can even trust my own judgement more and more :cheer: I'm getting more self-determined :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: And that's huge because FOO feels threatened by my self-determination. One of the sacrifices I was groomed to make was not developing self-determination. So,
4) I'm in the process of shucking off that hardened shell that was/is partially still preventing me from growing into ME, autonomous from FOO :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
5) I've been singing hymns in English, accompanied by a CD. I haven't really sung for ages and now it's sprung up again - my voice that is from the depths were it was stuck or tamped down. I don't feel self-conscious, my voice has more power than sometimes and I'm planning to sing at All Hallows next week. Even in my occupational T this morning, I wasn't planning to sing at All Hallows. Quick change but it hasn't been a head-based decision, it really has come about gradually over the day with me noticing that something is changing in my soul and body. Something integrating where at least soul and body are coming together if not head too. Lots of progress :) :cheer:
Such an inspiring post Blueberry. I am genuinely thrilled for you and am cheering for you!
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
Thank you Moondance :) :hug:
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From yesterday
1) Had a really good physio appt, different practice where I'll be going back because she was so knowledgeable and gentle. She worked on my legs and feet through my clothing. Even when she briefly touched a hardened muscular point on gluteus maximus, I knew I was safe with her. No flashback :thumbup: And instead of having to jump up at the end of my 20 minute appt and get out so the space is free, as you normally do, I was told to remain lying for another 5-10 minutes, which I very gratefully did. They obviously have enough rooms to allow this
2) I went to choir practice and it was really good. Different choir director from normal and he is better - our usual choir director says this herself because he has far higher training etc. So it was a good time for me to restart after so long. I noted that I hadn't gone back to square one with singing technique (body memory works for helpful, non-traumatic stuff too :) ) and I enjoyed the singing and hearing the other voices behind and around me.
3) Yesterday I listened to lots of singing on CD and then Youtube and joined in too. My CDs were certain favourite hymns mostly and then somehow on Youtube I got onto traditional songs and music from one of my native countries and that was just wonderful.
4) On the way home from choir I got closer to deciding to concentrate on Wed choir practices and putting Tues on hold because 2 per week is too much. That would possibly enable me to keep going at all
5) My new washing machine got delivered and hitched up to water pipes etc AND then the installer showed me how to use it and got me to try it out, which I did manage. And then when he realised I was going to throw a load of laundry in right away he turned around and came back and walked me through the steps again! That was so wonderful because using new machines can be triggering for me in a number of ways and usually causes a lot of anxiety. Not yesterday :) :) In fact, I got 2 loads done.
6) Delivery, installation and demonstration are all covered by the price of the washing machine and the price is OK too
7) Now with the new washing machine, things can start flowing again. When they're dry, I'll have clothes to wear again and I've obviously reduced some of the huge mountain of laundry in and on and around my laundry hampers
8 ) I dropped by the farm at the market and was entrusted with looking after the stand for 'a few minutes' including selling (!) while the one and only person could run a few errands. This is the farm woman with those Little Furbabies I know so much about. Years ago she didn't entrust me with much, but she's turned around a lot, but trusting me with selling - woah. Not because of the money, that's never been an issue, but just as I don't cook at the farm, I also don't do the market - it's just not possible, I can't retain all the information on the products, and then all sorts of other stuff, but it still felt good to be trusted, sort of like - you're now even more a part of our farm community. Fortunately, the only customer who dropped by said she'd come a bit later. I put my own stuff together though, did one part of dismantling the stand (it was almost end of market) and then get going on a job I do Sun eve when I'm up at the farm
9) I finally got hold of my godson by phone and we've mostly arranged for him to come for a few days next week (autumn holidays). Since he is very active and very much an outdoors type, I was upfront about my feet and legs, but he still wants to come, which is nice.
Today
1) A lot going on internally, i.e. recovery steps
2) I allowed myself a very long nap because I needed it
3) The sky cleared somewhat and I had the impression a little watery sun appeared - it was nice to see but I didn't attempt to 'should' myself into doing anything outside as that would have involved getting out of bed and I still needed my rest
4) I have been outside twice today briefly
5) Drinking nice hot tea with milk rn
6) It's done me a lot of good to write these Good Things, I've been smiling broadly and the more I wrote, the more I remembered. I feel more awake now too :) :cheer:
Last time I wrote "...the more I wrote, the more I remembered. I feel more awake now too." Let's hope that works today!
From yesterday
1) It was warm for fall and it wasn't raining
2) I allowed myself rest until I wanted to get up and do something
3) I did a pile of garden work, including beginning to clear two different beds so I can get stuff planted before the winter.
4) My feet held up pretty well, surprisingly. When I noticed that both my feet and me as a whole were getting tired, I stopped :thumbup:
5) While I was working, I noticed a sweet smell, it was coming from a still-blooming flowering plant a friend had passed onto me
6) Before my garden work, I was looking for a particular piece of documentation. I didn't find it, but I did find other stuff I hadn't seen since my move. I did feel an urge to unpack more and put it in the proper place aka find a proper place for it.
Today
1) It's warm in my apt so I'm warm
2) Drinking nice hot tea with milk
3) I allowed myself to lie long in bed dozing and reading
4) I'm following some of my own suggested steps on what to do when things are really hard, e.g. do get up eventually, look through the window(s), look at garden and nature through those windows, drink, eat... (I recently wrote two lists of Resources, basically things that do me good, in occupational T and taped them up where I can see them from my bed)
5) In fact I've just opened the window to let a wasp out, so I've looked out the window as well as looking through. Some sort of wild maple is outside - orangey-yellow with a few flaming-red leaves. Not just a Good Thing, but Joy.
Writing here worked! I'm smiling now, which I wasn't before, and I came up with more than three things per day, which I didn't have in mind before I started. :)
Yesterday:
1) Saw a rainbow
2) Had a nice cycle
3) Autumn colours are more muted, not so bright as a month ago but still pretty
4) Lots of rushing water in streams and little rivers that I passed while cycling
5) Went to church for the first time in a while and it did me good
6) Nice sunny afternoon so I did some garden especially lawn clean up and it all looks better :)
7) I had a delicious piece of apple cake.
Today:
1) I got up reasonably early tho I would've preferred to stay dozing in bed
2) I can see a bit of blue sky from where I'm sitting at my computer
3) I made myself a hot cereal for breakfast. It tasted good, was filling, halfway healthy and I had the wherewithal to add more than the basics that is to say I added cinnamon and chopped apple. It seems a long time since I last made myself anything warm to eat because that's something I'm having trouble with in this new apt but this morning I did it and it all went easily! :applause: :cheer:
4) I had an impulse to listen to music so got some CDs together but then realised none of them were the music I needed. I needed nursery rhymes and lullabies so that's what I listened to and sang along with and danced around a little to while cooking my breakfast. Some small Part of me possibly needed that yesterday so it's good I noticed the need this morning.
I will do the last 24 hours...
1. I was out last night, and dispite despite not enjoying myself and the CPTSD pitfalls and shortcomings , I was able to regularly check in on myself. That's not something I am usually able to do. I even felt myself trying to answer that I am fine, and I kind of pressured myself to see what I actually felt. It sounds silly to type out my internal conflict.
I needed a bit of a break, so after cycling the snow, over frozen canals, and past city lights, I thought I'd take the kids out of school today....
2. So I woke up before anyone else and made forest berry and winter spiced pancakes, and messaged their school to say they were having a snow day.
3. I got them dressed up and we were the first kids to jump in the piles of fresh snow. We had such a good time, and we really needed the break from 'order', and I had a much smoother day parenting. Even though I used so much energy outside, the parenting bit felt lifted off me and he kids had a really good day.
I really needed fun.
Bermuda, a few days ago reading your post especially the bit about your kids and you having fun in the snow was a joy for me, a Good Thing.
Today
1) I managed to leave the house and collect my bicycle
2) Finally collected my new reading glasses. They'll make things easier tomorrow morning so it's good I collected them today
3) Going to peace prayers today helped me out of my depression. It took me a while to get up the courage to speak, but I did, and prayed for something that helps me - for some greater power to help me not give up when the world seems so bleak internationally. But really it's about me being helped not to give up - it's asking for the blackness, the depression to lift. It did somewhat too.
4) With being at peace prayers, I saw and spoke to other people and I sang, which was all helpful
5) Number 4 helped me remember why going to church helps me and why choir is even more helpful
6) Stopped by a drop-in group meeting with social worker on the way home and got a hot dinner with rice and veg and sauce
1) Went to a Christmas party today which I go to every year
2) Very enjoyable this year. I felt relaxed, happy, sociable
3) We sang English language carols and enjoyed some Xmas foods from the anglo world
4) Afterwards I went on to a church service where I used to sing in the choir. The choir was singing tonight and I enjoyed singing along from the pews :)
5) I still have some of the tunes and words in my head and I'm moving my body a little bit along to them, as I was also doing in the church service
1) Went to choir practice this evening for the first time since before the summer holidays
2) I know most of the carols and hymns that are going to be sung on Christmas Day so I intend to sing with the choir on that day - it's OK that I missed so many practices
3) I had a good session with my occup. T this morning
For the past 24 hours:
1) I woke up this morning to the sound of singing in my head and the singing is still going on
2) I'm smiling after having read through all my old posts and some of Bermuda's on this thread
3) Yesterday morning I made it on time to my physio appt AND I was able to reschedule the next 2 appointments to a time that suits me better
4) Yesterday afternoon I was able to cycle back down into town and I did all 4 things on my little To Do list. Phenomenal atm because for what feels like weeks or maybe even months, I've mostly been able to run only one errand at a time and certainly not able to go into town centre twice in one day for appointments and errands!
5) Yesterday at peace prayers I was brave enough to openly pray for calm in my heart due to anxiety. I didn't mention the reason for the anxiety which had been teenager behaviour at the beginning of the prayers triggering me, but it felt good for me to leave the anxiety there in the room and not take it home with me
6) How could I forget? :doh: I can now read all boards on the forum when I'm logged on, so I will be able to respond to them too! :cheer: At some point or other last year, some glitches in my account developed. When not logged on, I could see all the boards (except private ones obviously), but when logged on there were various boards from all over the forum which 'disappeared' so I couldn't e.g. respond to a mbr's post on SI/SH although I would've liked to, I couldn't respond under Announcements e.g about Book Project tho I was writing something for that Project and I couldn't find some of my old posts on a particular board tho I often re-read my own posts. All that made me feel confused and useless-at-computer-stuff. Whatever those glitches were, they've now been repaired by the IT guy from OOTF :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
What a wonderful post! I'll give it a go:
1. Finding this positive post in this already wonderful forum
2. Getting on the treadmill and run for 30min even though I woke up very low
3. Putting a stop to my self-critic and allowing my feelings to show up without overthinking or judging, which is huge for me!
Way to go Dina! Those are great things you listed. This thread is very valuable to me, very helpful. Hope you find it that way too :)
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1) I got my hair cut today and it looks so much better which also means that I look so much better too. And I didn't get triggered either. In fact, I like my hair being washed and my scalp being massaged a bit when I'm at the hairdresser's
2) Nice sunny day today and with some snow lying outside it looks pretty too
3) I sat in my living-room in the sunshine eating my lunch and listening to some music. It was good that I 'bothered' to do that - leave the cold and shady kitchen, put the chair in the sun...
Thanks Blueberry! Your list sounds lovely too! ;)
My glimmers today were:
1. Having the mental capacity to work on a current assigment due this month.
2. Sitting on the couch and do nothing for almost one hour and not feeling guilty about it.
3. The warm feeling in my heart when one of my sons hugged me this morning.
1) It's 1pm and I'm allowing myself my second break of the day
2) I've accomplished a number of things, like laundry and hanging it to dry, tried to get a doc appt, some tidying, picked apart my vase of flowers into a) compost b) separate little vases (And that's not all :) )
3) It's sunny and I've been enjoying the sun both in my apt and when I've briefly been outside
4) I've done a little stretching, even just upwards for a number of seconds, but it's all a start and better than nothing
1) I feel good today - fairly optimistic and hopeful, also more sorted than sometimes so it's easier to organise certain tasks
2) The sun has been shining all day
3) Occup. T was good, I got on with one of my creative projects and while I was about it told my T about the many developments over the past 5 days or so as well as plans and ideas for the next while
4) I came home from OT with the energy and will to get on with certain things. Did a bit of cleaning here and there. Did a load of laundry and hung some of it out. Have a second load in the machine
5) Hung up one of my creative projects, tho it's not completed. I'm putting paper pictures of mine that I really like onto a freebie calendar whose pictures don't appeal to me at all. I always have newspaper and magazine cuttings, and other pictures lying around that I like to look at. Well, now some of them are covering up the ugly/boring pictures on this calendar which is hanging properly on the wall and there will be more, June onwards still to do. Much better than piles of newspaper cuttings and other pictures lying in piles. :)
6) I have the impulse to do a few specific things today in my apt, setting-up kind of things.
1. Finding this forum to take the time to shift my thoughts and energy towards something positive.
2. hugging my dog
3. watching corny movies with the kids and making memories.
1: I've got this. I do. I've dug myself out of the hole.
2: I discovered that I can cook dinosaur kale in my pressure cooker it just has to come to pressure, and then naturally release, it is perfect. I love kale so much and am eating bags of it. Food makes me so happy.
3: I am going to get things accomplished today, and if I don't tomorrow is looking okay too.
Go team!
:cheer: for you Bermuda! :cheer: :cheer: :applause:
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Now that I'm on this thread with an open post, I might as well look for three things myself - the 1st of which is: I'm using this opportunity rn
2) I'm up, I have enjoyed looking out the window a few times and I'm pretty calm about the pain in my throat because I know where it comes from (not an infection or anything)
3) I have done some housework - filled dishwasher and set in motion, found appropriate places for a few of the items I took from the flat of my deceased friend, so now one room is less cluttered. Also tidied up various bits and pieces including into the bin. Having had the wherewithal to do some tidying I feel a sense of agency, I feel better, stronger :) Particularly due to having found new appropriate places
1) Made it out of bed before noon
2) Got quite a bit done, like emails, phone calls etc inqiring about appointments and how to do what where. That helps me come unstuck and at least feel I'm moving forwards
3) Even went for a little cycle to run errands
4) Opening my attic window to look out and enjoy the view
1) It's a warm sunny day
2) I enjoyed hanging my washing up in the garden
3) I did a little tidying and cleaning
Three more :)
1) I'm definitely doing better than the past while
2) The course I'm doing is helping me understand a fair bit about how cptsd affects me and those realisations are helpful
3) I found 2 CDs and a book from the public library that had gone missing in my apt... They're all due in 2 days and I've already renewed them for about 6 weeks, no more renewal possible. It feels like such a relief, such a weight gone. I'm surprised how much relief is there! I needed to tell somebody and it's too late to phone anybody here in this part of the world.
4) I listened to hymns on YouTube and sang along a bit too, practising something helpful :)
1) Lovely orangey-red sunset on the clouds outside my window
2) A few minutes ago same was golden
3) Got lots done today
1) I now have a family that loves me unconditionally
2) I have had relative peace today
3) I am reading a good book
1) :sunny: :sunny:
2) Had nice chats with various different people today, all strangers I got talking to for various reasons
3) Finally managed :hoovering: :hoovering: everywhere in apt for the first time in I'd rather not say how long ;D
1) Had a nice long lie-in this morning
2) The scent of a hyacinth in my bedroom - permeates the room and I get a nose-ful whenever I go in which is quite often atm since I am tidying up
3) The family of a student of mine from a year ago brought me a little Easter basket and card - such a lovely gesture
4) Earlier today my bike chain came half off and got jammed somewhere very inconvenient BUT I managed to get it back on again just with my hands so I could cycle home again and not have to walk. Plus I feel really good that I managed a little technical thing with my hands :yahoo: :)
5) Grinning from ear to ear rn - spontaneously
1) Continuing good phase :)
2) Managed a normal Saturday morning - cycled to market, met quite a few friends and had nice chats, did my food shopping at market, which makes me less likely to be tempted to buy any sweet stuff/junk food
3) I have a hymn running through my mind all the time today and I'm smiling spontaneously because of that a lot of the time :)
1) Starbucks has Easter crispy bars which are utterly delicious. I had one with my coffee this morning.
2) I am managing to grind my way through my exercise most days. On days when my coach comes it is easier because he can encourage me. Today it was just me going to the gym. It is not much fun. I am currently in a holding pattern because of fatigue, and have lost ground. But I have managed to build in enough discipline over the years that I can accept my current situation and work with it. This does not actually feel all that good and it somewhat grates to include it as a "good thing", but I think it objectively is.
3) My art classes are going really well. I have gained confidence and I can see the improvement in my work.
1) I enjoyed a hot cross bun with a cup of coffee today. It was delicious.
2) I enjoyed a walk with my partner. The sun was shining.
3) I put some scented cream on my feet and gave myself a little foot massage, it was very relaxing.
The utterly joyful experience which had slipped my mind when I wrote my post above:
4) I saw my first bumble bee of the season in the garten in and on my lungwort (think that's the name - pretty pink and purple flowers) :)
1. I spent time outside in the sunshine
2. I had a lovely cup of tea and a fat rascal from Betty's
3. I've nearly finished making a jumpsuit and a tank top.
1) I got out of bed and stayed out
2) I finally showered and washed my hair after a number of weeks of not doing so
3) I took my meds
1) I did my meditation
2) I took my meds
3) I made it into town centre before noon and experienced some flow - one good thing followed another, none of which would have happened if I hadn't gone out of the house after all!
4) On and off :sunny: :sunny: is better than none at all, especially when unexpected :)
1) Fresh air coming into my bedroom through open window
2) I got up and did my meditation
3) I read a couple of posts here on OOTS but doing self-care and not responding.
1) I've just done my meditation again
2) It's evening so an unusual time for my meditation, but I have started up again, that's the main thing!
3) I do feel a bit better, a bit more hopeful for having done my meditation :)
3 Good Things Today
1) Opening the window into the sunshine, feeling the sun on my face and looking down into the garden
2) Looking up names of flowers in English and seeing more photos of the flowers and information on the plants while I'm about it. I enjoy the whole process :)
3) Suddenly feeling the energy and general wherewithal to do a few things - phoned 3 friends to pass on some information and have a quick chat of whom I reached two + cleaned a couple of parts in my bathroom that really needed it and now I feel good and purposeful for having accomplished that rather than exhausted or otherwise triggered (as is often the case unfortunately)
3+ Good Things Over the Past Few Days
1) Working in the garden yesterday
2) Going into town centre yesterday morning and enjoying bumping into friends and having a quick chat, enjoying outdoor farmer's market, getting an enthusiastic greeting from one person at 'my' farm stand, doing a quick job for them that will help Sun/Mon whether or not I manage to go, enjoying the sun
3) Nice hot cup of tea
4) Getting the bus (free here on Saturdays) and walking as an alternative to cycling; I notice different things when I'm walking and go slightly different routes. Had a little waiting time and went to gaze at the river flowing deep and fast atm, not something I would normally do at that location if I have my bike with me
5) A friend's husband brought me the last remaining bulky item that he kindly took into his storage facility when I had to clear the storage area in previous building where I lived. It was in his storage room for 18 months :whistling: :disappear: (tho there were reasons for that, mostly my exhaustion...)
6) Yesterday I got the call bus for part of my route and I was grateful that the person I spoke to when I was ordering it told me to go ahead and order because "that's what it's there for". I'd been thinking and said that if nobody else had ordered then it would be a kind of a waste so I 'should' just walk, since not really very far. Oh there's that 'should' again, so a doubly Good Thing that the bus co. employee said things that meant "Of course it's worth it just for you alone !"
7) I went to our local library's board games evening on Thursday. It was fun and sociable and I managed a good mix of mentally taxing game and a bit more relaxing and relaxed but not too easy
8 ) I have flowers in vases dotted all over my apt
9) Friday after trauma T, I managed about 12 minutes of the 15-min. meditation I'm meant to be doing daily if possible and it did help me settle better. It was good that I tried it when I felt it would be helpful and that I tried it at a different time from what I had been practising regularly (before stopping) which had been immediately on getting up.
10) I feel more hopeful after trauma T on Friday
1) Still feeling more hopeful, and more energised :)
2) Did a lot of self-care today, including skin care and foot care
3) I was at choir practice for the first time in a few weeks this evening and now hymns are running through my head and I'm smiling :)
1) Singing lesson was difficult today for me physically/emotionally BUT the Good Thing was how my singing teacher worked with me. It was in such a way that I did end up being able to do warm-up exercises that involved singing though after we'd tried that fairly early on, I said it was far too difficult and I'd just like to do head/face/neck relaxation exercises and maybe Gorilla exercise and call it a day. No, I did manage to sing AND my teacher brought in some of my favourite exercises near the end :) She'd remembered, tho at least one we hadn't done for at least 4 weeks!
2) Yesterday I bought myself something like a quiche and warmed it up to eat today piping hot. It tasted good and has left me feeling pleasantly satiated.
3) I made it to church service this evening and enjoyed the singing.
4) Did a little weeding today and gazed at my flowers and other flowers in garden.
5) Whenever I cycle or walk down the drive a nice scent from one of the roses wafts my direction :)
1) I eventually got up
2) I phoned a friend
3) I went into the garden twice, despite the rain
4) The scent of wild roses and some cultivated roses
5) Thinking up some things I do which are helpful to society
For yesterday:
1) Going up into my attic to lean out the window and enjoy the view :)
2) Saw 2 foals, each with its mother, in a field
3) In my singing lesson I noticed how some warm-up and voice exercises were much easier than last week - just because I'm doing better in general
Today:
1) Making the time to come on here to write Good Things
2) I finally found my last two inpatient reports! :cheer:
3) Drinking nice hot tea
1) I got up wanting to do my meditation
2) I did my meditation and this time it was easier to concentrate on my breathing
3) Most of my bedroom is a lot cleaner than it has been for weeks and my bed is changed - I feel a lot better in my bedroom now. I also have a semi-constant picture in my mind of my rug glowing red and dust-free :)
1) I woke up before my alarm this morning and then got up
2) For brunch with emphasis on the latter part of the word, I fried up mushrooms and onions both of which needed using up (before I scarper for 24 hours to the farm) and added them to quark cheese, the latter from the farm. There was a little tomato/veg sauce needing used up so I threw that in too. It's not gourmet cooking and I'm not offering this as a recipe, it's just absolutely excellent when I cook at all atm and using up odds and ends gives me a good, capable feeling too :) :)
3) I've done little bits of cleaning today
4) Yesterday I had to recharge the battery for the cargo bike and even though the woman at the place where I collect the cargo bike demonstrated how to do it, that kind of thing remains difficult. I had to google instructions eventually. But it did work :cheer:
5) Today I had to re-attach battery to bike and I managed after a couple of attempts too :cheer: by giving self a pep talk basically :cheer: So now I can cycle up to the farm, don't have to bus it and walk it. (Train out of action for 6 weeks :thumbdown: )
1) I went to Peace Prayers and it did me good
2) Things are moving again, something has come unstuck, and I'm therefore back to carrying through with various on my inner To Do list
3) New LL turns out a bit rigid in his views on gardening... but the latest hasn't thrown me for a loop. I'm more like :shrug: your hard luck, LL, because I don't have the energy to do that particular task all on one day rather than half one day, half another day, then as you stipulate - I won't do it at all. Much better reaction from me FOR MYSELF than 'give up' and 'fear' etc.
4) I felt genuinely happy several times today; even smiling broadly while I write that :)
1) Have so far remained stable plus able to accomplish quite a bit, both Things that Need to be Done and enjoying myself :)
2) Trauma therapy was good today - things are becoming clearer for both my T and me. She doesn't always understand quite what I mean as well as some previous therapists did but otoh she's very compassionate about how I was treated as a child/teen. She picks up a lot of nuance in the words/phrases and actions from FOO that are stuck in my head and soul and condemns FOO for a lot of that nuance - I don't have the impression that up till now any T has picked up quite so much. And she has young children herself, it's not just theory of how you can better parent
3) I went for a cooling paddle in the lake afterwards
4) A really heavy shower of rain in the late afternoon cooled the air off big time and I was able to cycle somewhere particular in the evening - otherwise it might have been way too hot still and I might have needed to get the bus which costs.
5) I went to an evening concert of solos by my singing teacher and a pianist. It was really really good - both excellent musicians - and I really enjoyed it, aware that I was smiling throug most of it :) :)
1) Another cooler day :umbrella: :)
2) I get to visit somebody very important to me in a few weeks
3) I 'felt' I didn't want to go where I'd planned this morning. Usually a nice, uplifting event but I felt time at home would be more restive, so I don't over-do things. So decision to stay home :cheer:
4) After decision, my impulse was to go back to bed, but I persuaded myself to sit in a chair in my living-room, drink tea and read something. That worked. A Good Thing in itself because it means I'm expanding the pathways in my apt. The paths from bedroom to kitchen to office (where my computer is) are well-trodden, into living-room not so much, altho often that would be a better place to be than in my bed or at the computer.
5) After sitting reading and drinking tea, I had two impulses: garden work (my own stuff, not LL's) OR wash dishes. I decided on the latter, so I could get the kitchen tidied up :) :thumbup: :cheer:
6) I listened to a CD of 80's music of a lively nature - good for me when washing dishes. Listening to music has been difficult for me since I moved - not that listening per se is difficult, it's something to do with allowing that aspect of me (I don't want to say 'part' cuz I don't think it's a Part as in dissociative) to come alive and flourish in this apartment. (Or maybe it is a Part after all?? - NTS). It worked well today anyway :) :cheer:
1) It's really cooled down today
2) I'm allowing myself a slow day
Two are enough for once.
1. I got out of bed and did my Saturday grocery shopping.
2. I wrote some forum posts finally, been meaning to for a while.
3. I finally cleaned up stuff in the garage.
:cheer: Aphotic, good for you!
___________
I know this is a useful tool especially when I'm feeling low:
1) I looked out the windows a few times today, especially good when the air had cooled down a bit
2) I wrote some posts on here and that was helpful
3) I enjoyed reading books I know almost off by heart and accepted that that's what I like doing today
1) I finally went swimming :) :) :)
2) New place for me, outdoors, sort of artificial lake but with a very small river running through
3) It started to get fun after a while, so it was good to give myself time to feel that
4) I enjoyed my cycle home again too
5) Reading the beginning of my Journal gave me some perspective on things atm
1) Moving forwards again since late last night :) :)
2) in tiny sparks of seeing things differently and coming out of some EF or other
3) 10°C drop in interior temperature
Enough Good Things for 9am ;)
IAW how we roll here at OOTS, I'm going to lock this page and start a Part 9 now that this is at page 6.
Kizzie