Out of the Storm

Hi Everyone:

In another thread it came up that some members would be more comfortable having their journals in a private section of the forum.  I can set this up if there are some of you that would prefer your journals not to be read by the public. I can then move everything in your journal over to the private section. The only drawback is that you would not get as many responses/feedback.

If you would like me to set this up please let me know in a post below.

Kizzie

I would really appreciate that.

If there is not enough interest for the trouble that's okay as well.

Thanks Kizzie

Thank you Kizzie. I'm sure I overreacted...I mean I definitely did... but it would feel much much safer to have them private to only members who have journals. I don't think I ever get responses from anyone who doesn't also keep a journal.

Armee :yeahthat:  ;D

Kizzie - is it that only members who have their journals private can then read other peoples' journals in the private section? Or will everyone's journal be private?

Just my two cents but when I was first lurking on the forum it was helpful to me to read peoples' honest experiences about what they were going through.

Dolly - There would be journals in both sections so still available to the public.  Those who have journals in the private section will be able to read other journals and comment.

I will start a private section Moondance because even if it's only you to start there may be others after who want to put their journals in that section.  It does allow members to add more details than they might in the more public section.

OK, I have set up a section for members who want their journals to be private.  Just let me know if you want to be added to that group and I will assign you permission. Please remember that the only responses you will get is from other members in the group.

I am thinking about moving it or not is a good idea.   I think it's important for me to get support.  Perhaps I can start another journal in the public forum.   

Anyway I will ponder some more - I'm leaning towards yes for the move but am not certain yet.

Thank you Kizzie

I've added you both to the private section Armee and Moondance.  You can start another journal in it if you want Moondance.  For now I won't move your current journal. Just let me know if you do want it moved.

Hi, I've just moved this over from the bottom of Armee's post which gave rise to this topic. Sry Armee I didn't see Kizzie's thread here.

Quote from: Blueberry on August 15, 2023, 10:46:39 PMTo everybody:

I do understand worries and fear that somebody might read our Journals. There's lots of detail in a lot of them and then of course there's all the boundary transgressions from alot of our pasts and all that kind of stuff that I can't even write down rn, but which contribute to feelings of unease - for me too for years.

Each and every member's feeling of security is paramount! At the same time I would be saddened not to be able to comment on or even read (??) the entries of those who move their Journals to a private part of the forum. No pressure though - that's how I feel but nobody needs to JADE about it (justify / argue / defend / explain). That would be especially so for mbrs I already know and care about more than future mbrs I don't yet know. Or maybe all Journals could go into a private part of the forum, idk.

Kizzie, I'll PM you later on this general topic.

Some of the stuff I was unclear on is clearer now thru this thread, but it's too late at night for me to edit my post. Tomorrow's another day...

Hi Kizzie and everyone,
I expressed my concerns in the other thread - but must admit that I've been thinking about it since, and I now think that I am ok with everything I've written publicly.  I recognise that it's 'parts' of me that are concerned, and when they are more present, they voice those concerns, but essentially I've been discussing within my selves, and think I'm ok with my journal being as it is.   I know that parts of me became worried about the 'hidden private' place that the other journals were going to be kept, and feeling as if those parts were being locked away - which is somehow how I've felt in relation to hiding parts of myself and repressing certain thoughts and feelings.

Anyway, I'm more comfortable again with having my journal and all the things I've written in other parts of the forum as they are.  I'm not therefore requesting a private journal.

However, if it was the case that the majority of members wanted to go into the private area, then I would hate not to be able to access it too - because I would feel like we were being walled off from each other.    I'd rather also be included.

I've felt that about the Zoom groups a bit - i.e. I'm too fearful to join one of those.  But I feel a bit 'left out' - even though I know it's not the case that I am left out.  I just don't feel confident or comfortable to join a group.  I worry that someone would recognise my voice, or that I'd be recognised somehow.

My partner reminds me of all the millions of people in the world and how it's unlikely anyone would recognise me, but my FOO have used detectives before to locate members.  So it feels worrying at times.

But, I do feel ok about what I've written now. 

Sorry to be so wordy about this - I didn't expect to write quite so much about it, but it's really affected my parts and I know my dreams have been expressing it - so I'm glad to be writing this today - and feeling a bit better.

Hope  :)

It make sense to me to have a private journal area for the reason you mention Hope.  Abusers can be very stalkery and determined so journals can be a way of finding someone give the accumulation of information.  Having a private area means those who may hold back from writing what they need/want to because of this can now have a place where it is safe to do so.

If anyone would like to move their journal over or start a journal please let me know - l.herod@yahoo.ca, post here or PM me.

Kizzie

 :Idunno:

I go way back on this forum, and originally there were just a tiny handful of journals on here. I had one for a while but I've always had other (paper, then via 'files' kept on PC; quite voluminous, btw). My own prob with an online journal is just the many nuances and special circumstances which might require tedious explanations per the 'why' of some things, esp. events that are very individual.

I've only discussed the presence of the forum to a couple of people (I only know a couple anyway). To my own surprise, little details of my rather unique background could, and did, leak on here whether in the short-lived journal or just in the back-and-forth commentaries of a variety of posts. I'm very careful with info anyway, as I've never gotten away from trust issues with anybody. EXCEPT on here, where the participants have also 'walked the talk', as it were.

I can certainly understand the privacy option, but I also feel it rather defeats the idea of the forum itself. At first I was hesitant to even look others' journals -- it almost felt like prying into someone else's affairs. The counter to that, though, is that the site-forum also exists as a learning platform, from which participating members can and do share and learn from even the unique twists some other people courageously choose to open up about.

Remember, the key seems to involve being coy about one's precise location, as much as possible. It's also why we've all chosen unique idendities for this member's forum. The general public, per my understanding, cannot access anyone's material without 1)becoming a member themselves and 2)knowing your moniker as well. So there's at least that safeguard in place.

Interestingly, at the start the journals were few and far between, and even came with a hint in the guidelines that there may not even be much commentary. As was also noted, even if one was careful, their viewpoints were still evident via the journals content and other items posted by any one of us.

I had the good fortune to literally get away from the early people (FOO and their crowd), albeit I ran into bothersome sorts all along this scary ride called cptsd. Always careful, mind you, but also more and more willing to open up about some of the good things, too. Mine is a story with deep pain, but after many years of therapy as well as this site/forum, I've found the trek less perilous. Finding the 'right' sort of people that seem trustworthy, such as those of you reading this essay -- sorry, I meant to keep it brief but when the words start flowing, ya know what can happen.

One other minor detail per the journals -- as a bit of an information-seeker, there often are nuggets of info (books, conferences, articles, etc) which people include in their journals which I've often found very helpful. There are other categories in which these can be shared, but sometimes they only appear in someone's journal,

These are just a few observations (stop me while you can!) of a vet at perusing this site/forum's incredibly rich materials. The public/private issue here is paramount, though, and I can see the hazards that come with it.

                    :grouphug:

Maybe we just treat this as a trial option and see how it feels. I see both sides. I generally have not been very fearful because most people whonhave harmed me are dead but I was alarmed by the behavior of someone close to me and my brain spun and I felt intensely unsafe emotionally having things here knowing that someone who knew me to that level could easily tell it was me.

But I guess personally speaking I think the other sections of the forum are good for people perusing the site but I'd rather my journal not be for random browsing. But my understanding is that anyone even nonmembers can view the journals but just can't post. 

Quote from: Kizzie on August 14, 2023, 10:45:16 PMIn another thread it came up that some members would be more comfortable having their journals in a private section of the forum.  I can set this up if there are some of you that would prefer your journals not to be read by the public.

Kizzie can you please define public in this context? Is that non-mbrs? Or non-mbrs plus mbrs who do not have their journal in the private section? Depending on that answer, my feelings about the private journal section will differ.

woodsgnome writes: The general public, per my understanding, cannot access anyone's material without 1)becoming a member themselves and 2)knowing your moniker as well. So there's at least that safeguard in place. Maybe there used to be that safeguard in place? I do remember back in my days as Mod, occasionally a mbr would write in a panic something like  OMG!You can google my moniker and anybody on the whole world wide web can read my posts!! and then delete all own posts. Although their moniker was something generic like Blueberry or Hoping to Heal or John and not firstname_lastname@emailaddress
For a few years there seemed to be this safeguard on OOTF but not here. That's what I wanted to pm you about Kizzie, but now my query is here. If I wasn't logged on on OOTF and wanted to check an old post of mine for information, I'd get an error message on OOTF when I used Search function but since the upgrade this year, that's no longer the case i.e. I get the info w/o logging on. I checked specially cuz that would have been my suggestion here. Comment Kizzie on feasibility or not? I know almost nothing about the functionality of websites.

woodsgnome, I agree with you on the nuggets of info hidden in journals. It would be 'nice' if they were at least accessible to all mbrs if not non-forum mbrs - so goes to my question in first para: Kizzie please define public in this context. Like you, woodsgnome, I see that the usage of journals has changed here over time (I've been on here a good few years, you've been on longer than me). Change isn't a bad thing - the forum and mbrs' needs have evolved and imo it's good the forum under Kizzie's guidance and direction has this flexibility -  :applause:  :applause:  for Kizzie. But one change I see over the past year or two is longer and longer texts especially in journals and more and more use of journals combined with less use in other areas of the forum. Kind of a shame because if I or others don't read all journals we don't get that specific information. Recently I wrote some information about smell flashbacks from my inpatient stay in what I hope is a good spot on the forum for anybody affected to find it. If that nugget of info were in my journal, who'd see it?? This is not a criticism of mbrs who only write in their journals cuz everybody on here has their reasons for doing what they do as they do. I'm actually trying to read fewer journals and not even start with new mbrs' journals. Intro post fine and with some older mbrs I feel I know better I want to keep up with their developments, I'll read journals.

Hope, I can relate to a lot of your worries and fears, including things like feeling 'left out', I had these too e.g. when the first zoom group was formed, but now I've signed up for the second one, so I've overcome some emotional hurdle or other. Not that there aren't at least 375 further hurdles in my life... I'm glad you're feeling safer now and can leave your texts up :)

Talking of longer texts, apologies for this long one, both summarising and logical clear communication w/o JADEing are very difficult for me :doh:  Origins in this beast called cptsd :thumbdown: 

Sure BB - Anyone can read all the posts on the site without becoming a member. The idea was so that survivors who may not want to join, the public and professionals can read about Complex Trauma.  It's a way of letting people learn about CPTSD.  No-one can read the private section journals though, except those I have given permission to. 

I do think it's a good option for those who do have FOO or other perpetrators they are frightened of having finding them. The problem with the public journals is even if you are spare in details they can accumulate enough over time for a determined enough person to find you.  And even if they don't, the fear of that happening adds an unnecessary layer of trauma on survivors in that position.  I don't think too many will use the private section, but it's there if some need/want it. 

I should add that I started the Zoom groups because I and I knew a few others were ready to try learning about relationships in a more present way; that is, to see and speak to each other. I was happy being anonymous for a long time here, but it seemed like it was time to take a step forward and see how it went.

I only had enough for one group who were interested and now enough for a second group. It's a BIG step for so many of us, something it had taken me years to do so I expect it will not be a feature that grows in a big way although I may be surprised I don't know. 

I guess I was really anxious about the journal being public in the beginning and I have tried to be very cautious when alluding to places and times because of that, but actually I think having it public feels mostly good. I do have moments of panic, and I have thought about deleting it too but I'm glad I didn't. Those thoughts are fleeting. I haven't read all the replies as I am always short on time, but I think my opinion is I am fine with either public or private. Being able to choose would be great too. I get worried about being found, and when my alarm bells go, they all go off. It doesn't mean the threat is imminent, it just means I have cPTSD, but hiding can be therapeutic too.

I like what you said about hiding being therapeutic Bermuda, it isn't something most of us could do if we were abused as children (except hiding within ourselves), but as adults we have the power to make choices like this. 

I just want to add I love that so many of you have spoken about your thoughts and feelings on this. :thumbup:     :applause:

this whole thing is kinda freaking me out  :'(

I hear you Bach. Is there anything somebody on here can say or do (explain? validate?) that would help?

Here too Bach, you can always PM or email me. 

I'm also here, Bach. I think it perhaps feels like a bigger change than it actually is. I had quite a strong reaction initially.

Thank you for acknowledging me, Blueberry, Kizzie and NarcKiddo.  I suppose this is triggering my issues around not belonging/being left out, especially because I read here more than I write.

Quote from: Bach on August 18, 2023, 12:32:56 AMThank you for acknowledging me, Blueberry, Kizzie and NarcKiddo.  I suppose this is triggering my issues around not belonging/being left out, especially because I read here more than I write.

The way I understand it, you would not have to move your journals to the private group in order to be a member of that group and thus be able to read and comment on those journals.

I am not personally inclined to move my journals to a private group. This is partly because I have had helpful comments from people with whom I might not interact on a regular basis on this forum. Those people might not be minded to join a private group and so by putting my journals there I might be depriving myself of feeling some of the support that abounds here, just because people have not chosen to join the private group and thus cannot read the private group journals.

Assuming you can be a member of the private group even if you do not have your journals there, I would probably join the group, especially if some of the people whose journals I do follow chose to move their journals there.

I can do that NK. That is, add members to the private group who are only going to comment on the journals there, but leave their own journals in the public section.

That said, it may be that some members may want journals in two places, the private group for when they need/want to share more detail they can't in the public group. I'm not adverse to that.

Maybe members could comment on this? 

I have nearly no experience on forums other than this one and feel a bit lost in the conversation, but as far as I think I understand that sounds like a happy balance.

Quote from: Kizzie on August 18, 2023, 01:41:28 PMThat is, add members to the private group who are only going to comment on the journals there, but leave their own journals in the public section.

I'd like to be able to read and comment on the journals of mbrs in the private group even though I'm pretty sure I'm leaving my journals in the public section.

Possibly we'd then need a rule on the forum about not posting personal information about other mbrs anywhere on the forum? They have that rule on OOTF. So eg if somebody asks on some thread if there are other mbrs here from France, you can write that you are from there, but you can't write that you know mbr xyz is from there because that's their information to give. I made that mistake on OOTF once :doh:  and it was because of that happening here sometimes.

That's a good reminder BB, especially given it is a private section so not sharing anything elsewhere on the forum is especially important. 

I added you to the group.  Just let me know if you want to be taken off.

Hi Kizzie,
I like the idea of being able to choose where we post - i.e. being able to have journals in both places, and write in them as and when we want to (it's a good option to have) - because having thought about it, I think there would be some things I'd rather keep more hidden than at other times/places.  Therefore I think I'll opt to write in both places.  Not sure yet how it will go, but I think I like the options now.

I must admit that my parts were quite freaked out in the last few days, but thankfully today - I feel much calmer regarding everything.  So I am relieved.

Thank you for setting this option up for us, I think it could be really helpful. 

I am also mindful of what Blueberry has said. 

Hope  :)

I just read what everyone else wrote - I somehow missed pages 2 - Bach, I also felt freaked out.  I think it would be understandable that certain parts would be worried about changes here.  This forum is so important - and any changes are bound to cause some issues for parts.   :hug:

Just for the record Bach and Hope, I got pretty worried when the suggestion of the first zoom group came up. Like for you too Bach, it triggered a number of issues in me about not belonging. The fears I had about how a zoom group might affect the forum haven't materialised, not in a way that's noticeable for me anyway. Good for me to note. Thank you both for writing it here because that shows me once again that I am not alone with these issues.  :)

Could I be added too, please?

BB I thought you were added but you weren't so I've added you now.  Bach, I've also added you.

I am new to this forum. Interested in an online journal here. Can someone please direct me to where to set up my journal?

Also: Is there a key for some of the acronyms people use here? I am sometimes lost reading posts. And is there a way to respond directly to someone's posts or just be the next person who replies? Like on facebook where you put the @ sign in front of the person's name? How do we know if someone responded to a post we wrote?
Thank you!

Journals are here - https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=61.0.  Or if you concerned that it is public (anyone can read it), we have a private section for journals and only members with permission to go into that section can read your journal.

If you click on "Resources" at the top of this page you'll see a section for acronyms, and another for a glossary.

Quote from: Nasturtium on August 20, 2023, 04:41:31 PMI am new to this forum. Interested in an online journal here. Can someone please direct me to where to set up my journal?

Also: Is there a key for some of the acronyms people use here? I am sometimes lost reading posts. And is there a way to respond directly to someone's posts or just be the next person who replies? Like on facebook where you put the @ sign in front of the person's name? How do we know if someone responded to a post we wrote?
Thank you!

I don't think the @function works in the way you think it might. But if you quote a member's post (as I have done yours) then the member should get a notification that their post was quoted, and therefore responded to directly. If you go right up to the top left of the screen just above the title banner you should see a bell symbol with a notification number on it, indicating that I have quoted your post.

Kizzie - I do not want to move my current journal to the private section but I would like access to the private section, please, if that's OK.

Done NK  :)

I'm locking this thread now as requests to join the private section need to be posted here - https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=15429.0