Hi. I am blue. I am 23. I live in Indonesia.
I have suffered extreme abuse—physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and religious—at the hands of my parents, siblings, and relatives from the age of 4 (possibly even earlier) until now.
Indonesia has never been a safe place for me; I've faced abuse everywhere I've been for my whole life—at school, home, universities, workplaces, and hospitals. It's not just my family; I've been abused by classmates, friends, ex-partners, strangers, teachers, school counselors, lecturers, co-workers, hospital staff, nurses, doctors, and psychiatrists. When I tried to seek help, whether from neighbors, relatives, school counselors, doctors, psychiatrists, or local organizations, they either refused to help or dismissing my experiences.
I also have a bunch of chronic illnesses and being neglected completely medically and daily necessities also neglected by family.
Right now i am still in the same situation and trying to find an escape.
Right now i am also dealing with a painful current break up from my former partner that i love more than anything.
I am fragile. I am a child. I am a kid. Despite my biological age and whatever people say to me. I like to be free and express myself. I age regressed a lot. I have alters. I like plushies. I like childlike stuff. I like being childlike. I like expressing who i really am.
Welcome to OOTS. I'm sorry you are struggling.
New member here as well. So sorry to hear about what you're going through.
blueteddy,
My heart is with yours. I'm sorry to hear of all you're going through. I sincerely hope that this forum can provide some love for you, and a sense that you are not suffering alone. We are all over the world here, but we all have these feelings of trauma and loss in common. We can offer verbal and heartfelt support to one another.
Welcome to the forum.
Hey thank you guys 🩷 i really appreciate that. Means a lot :grouphug:
:hug:
Welcome BlueTeddy. I hope you will keep coming here to find support as you navigate the difficult work of healing as much as possible from your past (and present).
Hello Blue Teddy,
I'm sorry, to hear what you're going through.
Welcome to the forum, I've found people to be supportive and understanding here!
We understand you.
Again, I'm sorry for every cruel thing that happened to you.
I'm sorry.
Take Care