Evening all
Tippy tapping my way out of an emotional flashback on this keyboard!
I'm going through a big life transition. I am having to accept a significant period of failure at work. Consciously, I am trying to process the pain and go through it, but it is really tough.
Part of the failure had been brought about by my trusting the wrong people for too long. Today I sent an email to try to end one professional relationship with more transparency and honesty, and it has triggered a big emotional flashback. My body is in full threat detection mode. I've managed to start the soothing process well and avoid a full panic.
Has anyone else had to make sense of failure? I'm trying not to get into replays of stories about my worth. I'm curious about healthier versions of failure. I can hear one of my parents shame about my being anything other than exceptional. I know what he says it isn't true, but better processes would help!
All thoughts welcome
Thanks, dear humans
Some of us do have a nose for befriending unhealthier people, I suspect because they seem familiar to us in some way. They feel comfortable at least at first, as though we know them on some level. I think that likely you being triggered by trying to end a relationship in a more open way is anticipatory; that is you are getting ready for what the blowback will be because our abusers did not let anything like that go and it meant more abuse was coming our way.
The good news is that some people can respond in a healthy way, and it may just be you won't receive a rage response even if that's what your mind-body is expecting. It's difficult trying out new behaviours like this so bravo to you for giving it a go! :applause:
Thank you, Kizzie. Their response is still emerging.
I am wondering if my feeling of failure might really be about leaving behind a culture that is really bad for me. I hope I can find healthier spaces!
Well InTheQuiet, we're all rooting for you here at OOTS, that's for sure ;D :cheer: