Ah, how easily my IC gets moving once it has been fed the tiniest morsel from outside. Yesterday, a colleague threw me under the bus a bit in front of someone during a meeting. While there was some truth in his criticism, it was mainly powered by his own insecurity and frustrations with an entire system rather than just directed at my faults and such. It is easy to know that intellectually and much more difficult to know it emotionally. Staying motivated to continue improving my work depends upon acknowledging progress that I have been able to make while seeing next steps that can be taken. We all do our best in any given situation, and nobody but our own selves knows how we maybe have had to struggle just to arrive at where we are today.
So, that having been said (glad to get it off my mind a bit and into writing), I am going to allow that criticism to fade somewhat and go run like the wind in a half marathon. Take that, silly inner critic!
Quote from: Jdog on March 19, 2016, 11:40:14 AM
Yesterday, a colleague threw me under the bus a bit in front of someone during a meeting. While there was some truth in his criticism, it was mainly powered by his own insecurity and frustrations with an entire system rather than just directed at my faults and such. It is easy to know that intellectually and much more difficult to know it emotionally.
:yeahthat: If we could get the rational and emotional to agree we'd be sailing (or running as the case may be). How did the marathon go? Did your ICr :disappear: ?
Thanks for the validation, Kizzie. I completely agree.
My half marathon was a struggle, but I did finish. Running offers many opportunities for self compassion and evaluation of my motivations, so I am grateful on that account. Anything in life that gets me to at least try to stay in the moment and look for positives when things feel difficult.
:cheer: to you for sticking with it JDog.
You know, I've had moments lately where I've felt too tired to criticize myself or others. It's like this feeling of "Been there, done that, let's just skip this and move on, I'm tired of the negativity" - almost a "Meh, why bother?" response.
Interesting as at first I'd have to shout both my OCr and ICr down, then went to compassion and now it's like, nope not going to waste my precious energy and they seem to be OK with it. ??? Anyway, kind of an interesting new feeling that seems to highlight your sentiment that we are indeed works in progress. Here's to recovery :hug:
Kizzie-
Your story of progressing from one phase to the next to the next is interesting. I think that so long as we are willing to meet ourselves (all of them!) where they are at this moment, good things do occur. I am finally experimenting with allowing myself to fully feel hurt right when it happens (to the degree practical) and learning that it actually does work ("leaning into the discomfort" - per the many talking heads).
Here's to continued work shedding our layers - like snakes and onions- and emerging better than ever as this season continues to brighten.
Happy Spring!
I think I'll be an onion, snakes give me the willies lol :aaauuugh:
Happy Spring to you as well :hug: