Does anyone else have them due to having too much pressure put on them? I feel like I can handle bucket loads of stress everyday, all day... but when the right person is pushing me to make a decision about a personal relationship it flips a switch... I feel like I am being pushed into a corner, and instantly panic.. I get all the signs of a bad EF almost like turning on a switch.
Does this happen to anyone else?
o, yes. this doc stuff does it to me. all the tests they want me to do, vaccinations they want me to get - i just get overwhelmed and freeze. appts. to keep, different people to see and talk to. yesterday was a big ef for me. just felt out of control, lost, head spinning. couldn't think straight. it was an awful day. hugs to you.
Hugs to you as well, my dear friend. You are going through so much, and being so strong lately. :hug:
I am glad to know it isn't just me. My reaction isn't a freeze like yours, mine is a flee.. My instinct is to run or fight. It is validating to know this can cause efs for someoen else too. Thank you :hug:
I've certainly had it happen. I have finally learned to set boundaries with the person. For me it was a boundary issue that led to pressure and panic. I had trouble saying no and constantly asked if I did something. Now I remember to think about it. If the answer is demanded it is always no. I have also learned to ignore text messages.
Yes, this folding under pressure is common. And repetitive, sneaky, and dangerous.
It can be to the point where the word competition sets me off or, conversely turns me off; then it's like I have an ice bubble form around me so I feel protected. In my case it boils down to how so many of my efforts to please, toe the line, do exactly as told--it was all due to fail, so why try.
Over the years I built up (or tried to) loads of self-worth geared to finding my inner strength without regard to the outside pressures. Sometimes this worked, other times not. When it didn't I felt resentment that I had to prove myself artificially in an impossible situation. This becomes extremely tiring--and annoying--this song and dance to prove my self-worth.
When I'd step back from the pressure points (knowing boundaries, etc.) I came to enjoy the sheer flow of competition which got me to where it felt good no matter the perceived outside judgements. But the minute the contest parts are inserted, I lose interest and can be badly hurt if I get caught up in the have-to game, where my enjoyment of the moment can wither into hopelessness. Keeping that perspective--for my own sanity and no one else's--then strengthens my resolve regardless of the performance pressure. In other words, stay with the flow--your flow.
Yes...I have long marveled at how I cannot handle stressful jobs, or moving, or any of the transitions of life without some sort of meltdown. Insomnia is usually the first sign, and I am in the middle of several days of very little sleep.
Great topic. I'm putting together a "getting through a * night" kit in case tonight is another night like the last three. :dramaqueen:
I'm glad to have this forum as one of my resources. Stay tuned as I lose coherence... :blahblahblah: If I post tonight, it may be rambly and wierd cuz I will be soooooooooooooooooooooo tired. Already am.
Thank you so much for this thread. It has suddenly helped me realise what has been going on with me for so many years. I realised that the absolute worse episodes of my adult life have been precipitated by major life stresses - two house moves, many years apart, trying to return to work after many years and my daughter leaving home for college for the first time. I fell apart for months and months on each occasion and looking back, it feels that each time I crumbled, I never made up that ground, never fully got back to where I was before, so the trauma was cumulative. Am I right in thinking that this is a feature of c-ptsd?
I have realised as well that these are all times when I reached out for the love and support of my parents but never got it. No surprise there, I had never had love and support from them. But what happened on each occasion, is that my nm stepped up the sheer nastiness to new levels, just to make sure I really, really suffered. And I did! It makes so much sense to me to see these episodes as really severe, long-lasting emotional flashbacks. I was made to feel young and unable to cope, unloved and unsupported, just as I had been all of my life with my parents.
What also occurs to me, that seems to support this, is that when my children need support, I am perfectly calm and composed and able to deal with things. My daughter has had house moving issues and I have been able to support her practically and emotionally. My son had autistic meltdowns and again I can deal with them and help him through them.
Thanks again for the insight and the opportunity to organise my thoughts. I really think that understanding things makes them a bit more bearable.
Best wishes.
Libby.
Thank you everyone for sharing so much, and validating this for me. I too have struggled so much with life transitions every time they happen.
Libby I am so glad this thread could be so helpful for you :hug: