Creativity is a huge thing for me, defines me really. But it has been severely sideswiped, my ability to articulate what was happening ruined by the fact that it mostly made so little sense it sounded empty, a bit unreal really. Few lyrics can sum up life with an alcoholic but this I like:
I swear to god
I thought that we could take it to the bridge
find some happiness
but all we got were lemons in the fridge
still... I'm starting to dabble a bit again. I do a bit of music on garageband and I'm trying to force myself back into it so that I have a vehicle for expression regarding the C-PTSD. Graduakky getting there tho my head is struggling due to dissociation. For now some Lyrics. I am trying to push away from negative expression and embrace defiance and the truimph of survival so bear with me, I will make it digestible.
Cat on the boundary
Feeling's coming back,
to my frontline.
My contact with the world.
Over the wall.
The rustle of leaves.
Seasons changing.
The taste of spices.
A need for life.
Cat had my tongue.
He took it all
He does not own me anymore,
this side of the wall.
They own nothing.
With all their pennies looked after,
decline looked after itself.
And the boundaries... so close.
Too close.
No fat to spare,
no air to breathe.
Just the fear of contradiction.
The fragility of pride.
Cat had my tongue.
He took it all.
He does not own me... now,
this side of the wall.
I pray you learn something.
But keep it to yourself.
I'm past caring now,
far past
moving way too fast.
My life used to be what you made it,
what you allowed.
That pattern shifted,
and I broke.
I am still running -
racing
James, I'm happy for you that your creativity is returning!
I really like this one.
QuoteMy contact with the world.
Over the wall.
The rustle of leaves.
I felt myself on top of a stone wall, springing over and into life, thrilled at freedom and self empowerment. Felt, heard, and smelled the leaves crunching under foot. Thanks!
Maybe there's something literally in the air, haha, my creativity has also started to return, and in fact I drew what I'm using here as my avatar.
Wonderful that your creativity is starting to spark back to life again! I hope itll grow stronger each day and that you will share more of your beautiful words with us