My husband and I recently found out we were pregnant with kid #3. At first I was worried. I've been NC with my FOO for over a year. They have met the other two grandkids but probably won't meet this one, so I'm worried about the hoovering, possible letters or them stopping by (they live close by). I felt myself go into flashback mode, but I saw myself freeze. I called my therapist, have been doing my yoga/journaling/meditating. Calling my friends for support. Ive realized this past year how much I have grown. I have all these coping mechanisms I never had before. I have friendships that are more like family and I can depend on. It's a wonderful supportive feeling. I feel I can carry a child again, whereas I couldn't even consider this previously.
I still worry a bit about what may happen, but I remind myself to stay in the moment. I always handle things differently in the moment than I can anticipate. I'm trying to get better at trusting myself. To know I will have my voice when I will need it. And for now I'm cautiously optimistic, and more peaceful than I thought I would be.
Wishing you all the best and good health with your pregnancy.
Congratulations. It sounds like you are doing great!