Does anyone else feel this way? It starts as intense feelings of shame, especially for me about having the condition in the first place and the stress that it's placed on my wife and what few close relationships I do have, and then it escalates from there. If I'm out in public it gets way out of control, especially if I'm in school around people completing the same degree as me that presumably have it way more together than I do and are not struggling the way that I am. I get this strong sensation being around them that they can see right through me and see me for what in my head I feel I am: pathetic, damaged, unworthy etc, and the shame turns into an intense feeling of humiliation. I was wondering if anyone has had an EF take a similar turn.
This is something I addressed in treatment. I use self talk to fight it. I understand exactly your point. Some of the things I tell myself are "PTSD is not a character flaw." I also try to use fact based affirmations to fight that feeling. I tell myself my accomplishments. "I have this X level of education." "I am good at X." It feels funny at first to say these things, but it is one of those cases of faking it until you make it.
Yes, absolutely. Felt like you were describing me.
It has been helpful to me to recognize these as emotional flashbacks -- that they are the triggering of neural circuits that got laid down long ago, and not a reflection of my true nature or character.