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Treatment, Self-Help & Recovery => Self-Help & Recovery => Topic started by: safetyinnumbers on July 25, 2018, 12:54:24 PM

Title: I want revenge
Post by: safetyinnumbers on July 25, 2018, 12:54:24 PM
I want revenge on those who have hurt me. I am angry at them for turning me into this messed up person.
Is that wrong??
Title: Re: I want revenge
Post by: Eyessoblue on July 25, 2018, 03:04:02 PM
No itís definitely not wrong that you feel like that but actually getting revenge probably is;
All your inner hurt is coming through, youíre probably angry and feel Ďjustí in your way of wanting to get even, but as much as you feel the need to do this itís not going to help you in the long run.
I too felt like that but have had to learn not to accept it but find reasons for it to justify it in my mind.
For me itís about realising that my parents also came from an abusive background and had no parenting skills of their own so therefore mirrored their parenting on me. By realising this itís some how made me understand it a bit more making me feel less revengeful.
Donít get me wrong I have days where Iím so angry about it that revenge does seem like the only way forward but Iíve had to deal with it as anger and learn to move my anger more appropriately.
For me to help myself I wrote them all a letter, saying exactly how I felt/feel what I think of them etc, but I didnít post the letter I set fire to it, my way of saying Iíve told you and now Iíve ended it, this could be something you could maybe try?
Itís very hard to forgive people and I canít do that but I can understand it more and have to try and prove that Iím a better person then them and Iíve done ok so that I choose for me to not let them carry on destroying me.